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Grand Prix Atlanta: Tourney Report

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I’m sure you care about Magic the Gathering as much as I do, so have a comprehensive tournament report from this weekend’s GP.

 

Friday

Morning

Traipsed on over to the Atlanta airport to meet up with everyone’s favorite slam jammer: puddi. After his “on-time” flight came in an hour late, we looked to make the time up by bouncing ASAP.

I suggested we take the metro, but puddi countered with the sage observation that we weren’t actually poor, so we took an Uber over to our hotel instead.

Easy riding~

Easy riding~

With me having been up since 4:30, and puddi operating on only 2 hours of sleep, we were famished to the point that going to a Korean deli for breakfast seemed like a good idea.

Did I mention how hungry we were?

Did I mention how hungry we were?

We consumed our omelets & pancakes with Korean chopsticks — as is tradition — and headed on back to our hotel to get ready for the rest of the day.

Try not to be too jelly~

An accurate re-enactment. Try not to be too jelly of puddi.

 

Afternoon

Stuff.

 

Evening

Looking for a shortcut back to our hotel from the convention center, we came across an intriguing set of unmarked doors. Opening them resulted in a view of nothing but a gigantic, empty loading dock.

Urban_Exploration

One of the pathways the dock presented us with.

Not ones to decline an opportunity for adventure, we set off on a foray back to our lodgings that took us in and out of places that likely hadn’t been occupied by normal humans for some time.

Somehow we didn't die.

Pretty reasonable to make the assumption one of these pillars was housing an axe murderer.

Managing to escape the deserted maze with our lives — and most of our sanity — intact, we found ourselves back in what passes for civilization in Atlanta.

It's called Five Points for a reason.

They call the area “Five Points” for a reason.

With the adventure taking much longer than a shortcut should, and finding ourselves hungry for something edible, we made our way to a nearby BBQ joint. And while gazing at the menu, one hundred-dollar choice stuck out to us.

They said it was six

They said this was enough for six people, but puddi and I dared to disagree.

After 30 minutes of what we came to realize may have been a mistake, we decided to phone a local fansubber for assistance.

Via Twitter, of course. This is 2015, after all.

Via Twitter, I mean. This is 2015, after all.

With the recruiting technique of Ash Ketchum, puddi managed to sway Fomalhaut to come down and support our cause.

Under the guise of generosity, we were able to bully Fomal into polishing off the cold, half-eaten smorgasbord of meat, which he admirably accomplished (with the help of a to-go box). Our membership in the clean-plate club preserved, puddi and I said our farewells to Fomals-chan and tucked in for the night.

If you know what I mean.

If you know what I mean.

 

 

Saturday

Morning/Afternoon

Stuff.

 

Evening

After a rather long day of whatever, we went to an Attack on Titan-themed restaurant for supper. I warned puddi it was about as LQ as the chibi spin-off, but everything else was closed so our choices were rather limited.

I had the Reinerrouladen and puddi snapped up the Eren Jaegerschnitzel. We had some dessert and an appetizer too, but I can’t be bothered to come up with puns for those.

...

Can’t deny we shared, though~

Over the course of the meal, we flipped over the shows that would be airing next season, just to see if we could justify remaining anime fans.

Is it too late to change fandoms?

Is it too late to change fandoms?

Our hopes entirely dashed, we retired to the hotel to come up with a way to save the scene, but ended up crashing for the night instead. RIP anime, you had a good run.

 

 

Sunday

Morning/Afternoon

Stuff.

 

Evening

Hit up Johnny Rockets early in the night to redeem the meme.

We got there.

We got there this time.

After filling our stomachs, we decided to fill our hearts. And so we went back to the hotel for a much-needed marathon of Valkyrie Drive.

We made the necessary arrangements.

We made the necessary arrangements.

And a view from my side.

Worked pretty fucking well.

After puddi and I finished, I was informed “it’s not gay if you watch sports afterwards”. And so began my introduction into football.

Go team. Or whatever.

Yay, teams. Or whatever.

Gotta tell ya, if Eyeshield 21’s eye candy couldn’t get me to care about football, not even the concept of watching mentally retarded, steroid-abusing millionaires fail at moving an object from Point A to Point B for four fucking hours was gonna change my mind.

Well worth the eye diabetes.

Enjoy the eye diabetes. She’s about the only good thing to come out of the sport.

 

 

Monday

Morning

Waking up early, we packed our bags and prepared ourselves for our return to the shackles of society.

Yet as puddi and I were parted by the inevitable tides of fate, we solemnly vowed to make our next joining even more notable than ever before.

But do not cry. For it is only with sorrow that we can know joy.

“But do not cry. For it is only with sorrow that we can know joy.” – Kirito-san, Sword Art Online

 

 

In Summation

Had a good enough time with puddi that though I despise Magic and its player base, I’ll quite likely be hitting up GP Vancouver in November with him and my boy shcboomer. So look for another solid tourney report around that time.

Guess we’ll find out if I’m still banned from that steak joint…

#GPVancouver #GetHype

#3Boys1Couch #GPVancouver #GetHype


Fall 2015 Anime Opinions – Episode 04/05: My Writing’s So Hot You’d Swear I Photoshopped It

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Let’s pretend the reason for this double feature isn’t laziness.

Dropped/10

Spoiler:

Lance N’ Masques

>Not Makio post-timeskip.

>Not Makio post-timeskip.

>Nonsensical off-screen arc resolution that negates everything that happened in the prior episodes.

>Nonsensical off-screen arc resolution that negates everything that happened in the prior episodes.

I’m out. glhf.

 

 

Taimadou Gakuen 35 Shiken Shoutai

UsedGoodsPlzGo

Relationships? In my all-girls-must-be-egoless-virgins-whose-only-purpose-in-life-is-to-fulfill-the-numerous-voids-in-my-life shounen power fantasy?

Well, really, I’m more disgusted by the anime’s sidelining of yandere-kun. The odds that he gets to do anything interesting are about the same as the likelihood of me continuing to watch this show after dropping it.

wubabababababa

You’re welcome, girl-whose-name-I-don’t-remember-and-never-will.

 

 

Osomatsu-san

For the purposes of fairness, I decided to get blitzed before watching Osomatsu-san episodes 4 and 5. This is the ideal condition for Osomatsu to actually be entertaining, and I promised myself I wouldn’t drop it if it managed to eke even a smile out of me.

I think you can guess the result of that little chemical experiment.

"Pears are good" is not an acceptable punchline.

“Pears are good” is not a punchline.

Look, I understand it’s hip to find foreign comedy funny — it means you’re worldly or some shit if you’re capable of laughing to thought-blinding cues like a trained dolphin. But anime is not funny. Anime has not been funny since Full Metal Panic Fumoffu. And anime will likely never be funny again.

…well, at least until Azumanga Daioh gets rebooted, or I ever bother to check out Gintama. Or… You know what, just ignore this last line — the other ending was better.

 

 

Bad/10

Spoiler:

Comet Lucifer

Still6MB_ButWhatever

This is an adventure series stuck in a sitcom’s world.

YESYOUFUCKINGCAN

Why? Because you can’t swim?

Every instance of blistering stupidity would easily pass for some metaphoric gibberish around the value of life and friendship if each episode took place in a zany new area. But when you have everything set in an imagination-depressing, ever-too-familiar environment, it instead becomes a comical exhibition of writer incompetency.

Show me someone who didn't cringe at this part and I'll show you a lizard person.

Show me someone who didn’t cringe at this part and I’ll show you a poorly disguised lizard person.

Continuing on, I still blame Bones for everything that comes out of this shitshow. Is it fair? Not particularly, but neither is the existence of Comet Lucifer. Let’s just consider this one even.

 

 

Owari no Seraph S2

He badmouthed Krul Tepes (a good vampire!) and let his bodyguard die (so cruel!) so you know this guy's a baddie and it's okay to root for his death.

He badmouthed Krul Tepes (a good vampire!) and let his bodyguard die (so cruel!) so you know this guy’s a baddie and it’s okay to want him dead.

Even Sesame Street has higher expectations for its audience than Seraph. This is the most cookie-cutter, least inspired shounen I’ve had the misery of subjecting my brain cells to since Hitman Reborn (can’t believe I used to fansub that shit — fuck you, Teen_Sage).

Probably not, cuz they need to create some drama, and good guys can only get killed off offscreen in this anime so how else is there gonna be tension for our intrepid heroes?

Probably not, cuz they need to create some drama, and good guys can only get killed off offscreen in this anime so how else is there gonna be tension for our intrepid heroes?

Oh welp, looks like I was right.

Oh welp, looks like I was right.

Not one goddamn thing in the series is new, yet every scene feels like the writers are figuring it out as they go. Like, they’re taking trips to the trope basket and hoping the next one they pull out will save the series from the mediocrities of their own worthless lives.

Hasn’t worked yet guys. And likely never will. But hey, at least you’re probably gonna get a third season, so take the checks and laugh all the way back to your one-room apartments.

 

 

Meh/10

Spoiler:

Gakusen Toshi Asterisk

Calm down there, Jared.

Calm down there, Jared.

Ignoring the rest of the show, I guess the ending of episode 5 was pretty cool. The wimpy damsel in distress was forced to fight Mr. Morals to retain her indentured servitude to her uncle. And she wins, saving her position as oji-san’s bottom bitch? Yeah, I can be down with that.

Rank #1 in sucking her uncle's dick! Yeah1!!

Rank #1… in sucking her uncle’s dick! Yeah1!!

Much like Subete, the best thing about it comes from a little girl flossing every night with her uncle’s pubes. And that’s really the only thing you should take away from Gakusen.

 

 

Noragami Aragoto

My face during every "emotional" moment.

My face during every “emotional” moment.

How long can a show go on where the only conflict comes from logic-defying misunderstandings? Seriously, come up with a Noragami character whose motivation for not just jerking off everyone and everything doesn’t come from some poorly managed game of telephone?

All’s I can say is I hope it ain’t gonna last past this season.

 

 

K – Return of Kings

The Kool Kids

I’m not dropping it, but I probably should. ~_~

 

 

Subete ga F ni Naru

Tina

As much as it tries to be le deep, Subete is only enjoyable in spite of itself. Every step it made away from the first episode’s office was a step toward ever more self-indulgent, navel-gazing bullshit.

Deep discussion requires a crucible, sure. And a murder is certainly the kinda thing that would lend itself to discussions around humanity or whatever the fuck. But chaining a deep discussion to an uninspired closed-room murder mystery is a risk that was never going to pay off for the show.

god damn

Conversation never feels like it flows naturally and its contrivance is even more insultingly blatant than a Sorkin script. While this would be forgivable if the discussion was intriguing, the themes addressed never even approach the realm of intelligence.

wa

nk

This would be a respectable thought if it wasn’t limited to children. I mean, shit, is anyone a fucking monolith? How is anyone supposed to have even a shred of intellectual respect for the argument?

Despite each episode consisting of about 20 minutes of an incompetent writer’s futile wanking, the flashbacks to Shiki’s uncle fucking make the show tolerable. Without them, I’d honestly peg this as a 5/10.

That's still good for a few more rounds though, right?

Ladies~

 

 

Sakurako-san

Yandere without the dere

This show would be unwatchable without the fap material. But thankfully this Sam’s Club tub of lotion ain’t going unused. Stay mad, Sakurako.

 

 

Top 5 6 Whatever

Spoiler:

One-Punch Man

OMPfdf

While entertaining, OPM does nothing and says nothing. However good the animation is, that does not in and of itself justify OPM’s use of the medium. Why would I want to watch the series as opposed to just reading the manga?

I mean, “because you run an anime blog, not a manga blog” is an answer, but that’s kind of a dick technicality to catch me on.

opm

No worries, fellow self-determined critics, I’m still rating this amongst the “good stuff”.

 

 

Utawarerumono – Itsuwari no Kamen

MRW Everything

Man, I haven’t had this much fun with anime since hitting puberty and watching Elfen Lied.

…well, I have, but the whole point of these posts is to use enough hyperbole to disguise the inescapable apathy that comes with any long-run writing endeavor.

Have an anime face.

Here’s an anime face.

 

 

Mobile Suit Gundam – Iron-Blooded Orphans

le evil stache

Just short of brilliance in these past few episodes, I’m a bit glad I wasn’t as bullish on this show as I wanted to be. Granted, it’s still the best show this season that doesn’t cause massive amounts of blood mobilization, but its reliance on genre tropes is starting to wear thin.

Can we go back to the IBO that unflinchingly killed off a badass war veteran? The IBO that didn’t care about waves and waves of children on a battlefield dying without cause? They say boys be ambitious, so show me some goddamn ambition, please. I need to justify my fandom. ;_;

 

 

Valkyrie Drive ~Mermaid~

Femdom for the windom

Best girl has inverted nipples. Ain’t saying I’ve discovered a new fetish, but hot damn do I think I’ve rediscovered one.

The image doesn't really fit, but c'mon, don't tell me you weren't hype as fuck for this part.

The image doesn’t really fit as an ending to the post, but c’mon, don’t tell me you weren’t hype as fuck when the faucet leaked.

 

 

~Ratings~

Spoiler:

so rekt

#rekt

Links go direct to each associated review post.

 

Anime Episode 01 Episode 02 Episode 03 Episode 04 Episode 05
Attack on Titan Junior High 6 Dropped N/A N/A N/A
Brave Beats Dropped N/A N/A N/A N/A
Comet Lucifer 6 8 7 6 6
Concrete Revolutio 5 3 Dropped N/A N/A
Dance with Devils 6 Dropped N/A N/A N/A
Gakusen Toshi Asterisk 6 6 5 6 7
Heavy Object 7 6 Dropped N/A N/A
High School Star Musical Dropped N/A N/A N/A N/A
K – Return of Kings 7 7 7 7 7
Lance N Masques 9 9 7 Dropped N/A
Mobile Suit Gundam – Iron-Blooded Orphans 7 9 9 9 9
Noragami Aragoto 7 7 7 7 7
One-Punch Man 8 8 8 8 8
Osomatsu-san 8 7 6 6 Dropped
Owari no Seraph S2 7 6 6 6 6
Rakudai Kishi no Cavalry Dropped N/A N/A N/A N/A
Sakurako-san 9 8 8 7 7
Shomin Sample Dropped N/A N/A N/A N/A
Subete ga F ni Naru 9 9 8 7 7
Taimadou Gakuen 35 Shiken Shoutai 4 5 4 Dropped N/A
Utawarerumono – Itsuwari no Kamen 8 8 8 8 8
Valkyrie Drive -Mermaid- 10 10 10 10 10
Young Black Jack 7 5 Dropped N/A N/A

 

As a reminder, the scores are NOT individual episodic ratings, but are rather based on my impression of the series by that point. Cuz, y’know, episodic ratings suck and fuck everyone who does those.

Fall 2015 Anime Opinions – Episode 06: “Yes, But What’s Your Opinion On GamerGate?”

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I know most of you reading this aren’t even watching anything this season, so I’ll try to throw something else at ya before the next episode. …for your sanity as well as my own.

 

Dropped/10

Spoiler:

Nada

Nothing today. Maybe next ep~

 

 

Bad/10

Spoiler:

Comet Lucifer

And the plot will advance. Hopefully. Please, god, make it advance.

And the plot will advance. Hopefully. Please, god, make it advance.

6 episodes into this entertainment-bereft, one-block adventure and still not one goddamn thing has happened. One would be able to wave this away as “development” if the show were two-cour, but the show’s only 12 fucking episodes long.

I feel ya, Felia.

I feel ya, Felia.

The little development that has managed to squeak by the show’s dipfuck director is invalidated at every possible turn by writing that makes about as much sense as trusting anything posted on social media.

Let’s take the baddies as an example. We’re supposed to believe that Mr. McGarlock has snapped up a team of crazed killers that the government will only look the other way on cuz they desperately need Felia’s power for nefarious purposes.

Kill 'em all, baby.

Kill ’em all, baby.

So when another government unit breaks off to beat him to the punch, we’re (supposed to be) led to believe shit is going down.

And they're all supposedly battle-hardened veterans that make Garlock-kun look like a kid playing with Legos.

I mean, they’re all battle-hardened veterans that make the Garlock sub look like he’s just discovered what pubes are, right?

Yet when the breakaways reach their objective, a 20-person hippie commune throws a few rocks at their top-of-the-line mechas, causing the unit to just give the fuck up on acquiring the world-changing power that’s right in front of their fucking eyes?

I WONDER WHO THE FUCK AGENT HONEYBEE COULD BE!

AND I WONDER WHO THE FUCK AGENT HONEYBEE COULD BE!

This show has gotten so bad, I actually spent half this episode going through Crymore’s spam folder and reading every fucking comment there in the hopes of finding something more relatable. I’d almost rather overdose on some of that Kors-brand Viagra than deal with more of Comet Lucifer’s limp-dicked brain rot.

 

 

Owari no Seraph S2

Super Hicky Yeah

Bis hie

Shit sux, but the characters are still cute, I guess?

 

 

Meh/10

Spoiler:

Gakusen Toshi Asterisk

God damn, Claudia.

God damn, Claudia.

She may be jelly but she's right

Yeah, yeah. But as the Libertarians say, not everyone can be born anime, Saya.

If Gakusen dropped the MC and replaced him with someone who has a personality, I think the show could even be mistaken for being good. If only that ship hadn’t long since sailed by this point~

Actually though, I should just drop this and watch Shimoneta.

…I should just drop this and finish watching Shimoneta.

 

 

K – Return of Kings

Sure looks like it.

Sure looks like it.

The main thing that separates K from other mindless panderfests such as Seraph is its sheer, unapologetic self-indulgence. It knows people want shiny skin, stylish clothes, and sexual tension, and it doesn’t attempt to stray from that sagey formula.

Burn_baby_burn

What’s a little cancer when you look this fucking cool?

I don’t know if any K fan is brazen enough to call the series good, but there ain’t nothing wrong with having a little fun every now and then.

 

 

Noragami Aragoto

If this were season one, I'd have dropped the show right at this frame.

If this were season one, I’d have dropped the show right at this bullshit frame.

While I wouldn’t put it past Noragami to devote the next 7 episodes of the show to Bishamon arc follow-up, the outro in episode 6 leads me to believe that best girl is gonna get her due screentime.

Or at least her dad will.

Or at least her dad will.

While not even Nora-related goodness is enough to save this series from its mindless mediocrity, at least she’ll give me a reason to stop multitasking whenever she comes on the screen. Not like I have a reason other than boredom to organize this Weiss collection anyway. (For reals, the game sucks.)

 

 

Sakurako-san

I'd_fill_in_for_that_role_but_you_look_too_goddamn_boring_gomen

I think you’re mistaking “fun” for “cheap ego boost”, sister.

I’m going to pretend the reason for cutting Sakurako out of this episode was to introduce us to Dark_Sage in anime form.

Brutal

This guy’s unapologetic douchiness saved the episode from its non-mystery of the week. While he’s probably gonna be relegated to side character status, I’m fine with the Sakurako/Sensei tag team as long as it doesn’t result in the high schoolers hogging the spotlight with their sub-Scooby Doo detective skills.

Yet we gotta be honest with ourselves: not even good characters can save us from the diabetes-inducing storylines — at best, they’re gonna be a distraction.

COP OUT

Gag me with a fucking bottle of Cymbalta.

If this show gets any dumber, I’m gonna have to drop it into the Seraph zone. I may be Minnesota Nice, but I ain’t no Minnesota Masochist.

Minnesota Misanthrope? Check.

Minnesota Misanthrope, though? Sure, I’ll take that tag.

 

 

Subete ga F ni Naru

Le_deep

God, noitominA, and I had such faith in you after Nanana’s Bizarre Adventure. ;_;

Gangsta

Ah, teenagers~

This show’s getting so goddamn boring, I’m inclined to just read a synopsis of the book and bullshit my way through the rest of the series by using screens I took from earlier episodes. Wouldn’t be surprised if the animators have been going the recycling route either, considering every place looks the goddamn same as it did when they first hit the island.

...or I could just supplement this boring season with Shimoneta, like I brought up earlier.

…maybe I could just supplement this boring season with Shimoneta, like I mentioned earlier. Yeah, I think that’s the smart play here.

 

 

Decent+/10

Spoiler:

One-Punch Man

If you wanna know why Crymore is in the state it's in...

If you wanna know why Crymore is in the state it’s in…

Most of my entertainment in this ep was derived from HorribleSubs’s troubling inability to rip a simulcast correctly.

LewlHS

HorribleSubs

Yet beyond that, nothing springs to mind as remotely memorable.

GetMad

Okay, maybe green-chan’s bitch face was.

I’m inching closer to a 7 for the series as each episode provides nothing but 20-odd minutes of a poorly executed one-sentence concept.

But this is a character-based anime from everything I’ve seen, so hopefully we’ll get to where I can be distracted by how cool everyone is… to the point that I don’t care that nothing is happening.

The loads of Tatsumaki fanart give me hope.

All the Tatsumaki fanart out there gives me hope beyond hope. Don’t let me down, bipolarity-chan.

 

 

Mobile Suit Gundam – Iron-Blooded Orphans

RIP_orphans

And that’s why people are gonna die.

IBO is setting itself up for greatness, and my ratings for the series are taking its promises into account. You’d be right to point out that the shit has not hit the fan just yet, but you’d be blind to ignore all the setup for the feces flinging.

Failure_Inbound

Since when has anyone ever been happy in the Gundamverse?

A show with characters this flawed can’t simply ignore them. Their flaws necessitate failure. And when the body counts start to rise and the plot armor cracks, the pay-off is going to be so sweet.

Take 'em down, green-eyes.

Take ’em down, green-eyes.

Sure, I could be wrong, and this could just be another “passable” entry into the time-worn Gundam franchise. But I’m taking the bet that this show cannot end without the bodies of orphans littered across space. And when I’m right, and the corpses of children float across your screen, just remember my sagacity is perfection manifest. Then, I dunno, donate to Crymore’s Patreon?

 

 

Utawarerumono – Itsuwari no Kamen

I don't care how hot you are, there ain't no way I'm getting drunk on sake.

I don’t care how hot you are, there ain’t no way I’m getting drunk on sake. … …wait, are those kemonomimi? Goddammit, you siren of sorrow, I guess I’m in for a few.

It’s been a while since I’ve seen the original Uta, but all these characters whom I vaguely remember coming back, and the constant hints of some serious behind-the-scenes shit, are giving me some heavy nostalgia for a series I could only realistically peg at an 8/10.

Agh, I shouldn't be so hype by this, but I so fucking am.

Agh, I shouldn’t be so hype by this, but I so fucking am.

With characters who enjoyably interact with one another, and a fully built world begging for exploration, Uta impresses me almost as much as my own reflection does. The pacing is slow, but entirely reasonable, and the moe beats out anything else this season.

Uta Ware Rumono

Even if you haven’t seen the first Uta, this is a great series to forget about the failures of most everything else in Fall 2015. Reaction faces are universal, after all.

 

 

Valkyrie Drive ~Mermaid~

You know it.

You know it.

There is way more going on here than just tits and the bodies they’ve been bolted onto. The slice-of-life aspects are fun, the action isn’t dull, and the character relationships are legitimate. All that slides up into a solid piece of entertainment.

Just try and tell me that smile ain't contagious.

Just try and tell me that smile ain’t contagious.

Despite being lodged in the ecchi genre, Valkyrie Drive still legitimately rises above the rest of the series this season, and that’s not by mistake.

Plus the ass game so good.

Plus the booty game strong.

Genre-advancing series like Valkyrie Drive (or Sekirei or Highschool of the Dead, if we’re keeping with the ecchi theme) are reminders of why people who refuse to watch past their insecurity-imposed zones of comfort will never have opinions of value. There’s more to life than just what’s familiar.

Haters can get graped.

Yeah, I’m taking a moral stance on titty bar: the anime. Haters can get graped.

What I’m saying is, give the show a chance if you haven’t already. It’s honestly solid stuff.

 

 

~Ratings~

Spoiler:

Bro of the show.

Bro of the show.

Links go direct to each associated review post.

 

Currently Watching

Anime Episode 01 Episode 02 Episode 03 Episode 04 Episode 05 Episode 06
Comet Lucifer 6 8 7 6 6 5
Gakusen Toshi Asterisk 6 6 5 6 7 7
K – Return of Kings 7 7 7 7 7 7
Mobile Suit Gundam – Iron-Blooded Orphans 7 9 9 9 9 9
Noragami Aragoto 7 7 7 7 7 7
One-Punch Man 8 8 8 8 8 8
Owari no Seraph S2 7 6 6 6 6 6
Sakurako-san 9 8 8 7 7 7
Subete ga F ni Naru 9 9 8 7 7 7
Utawarerumono – Itsuwari no Kamen 8 8 8 8 8 9
Valkyrie Drive -Mermaid- 10 10 10 10 10 10

 

Dropped

Anime Episode 01 Episode 02 Episode 03 Episode 04 Episode 05 Episode 06
Attack on Titan Junior High 6 Dropped
Brave Beats Dropped
Concrete Revolutio 5 3 Dropped
Dance with Devils 6 Dropped
Heavy Object 7 6 Dropped
High School Star Musical Dropped
Lance N Masques 9 9 7
Osomatsu-san 8 7 6 6 Dropped
Rakudai Kishi no Cavalry Dropped
Shomin Sample Dropped
Taimadou Gakuen 35 Shiken Shoutai 4 5 4 Dropped
Young Black Jack 7 5 Dropped

 

As a reminder, the scores are NOT individual episodic ratings, but are rather based on my impression of the series by that point. Cuz, y’know, episodic ratings suck and fuck everyone who does those.

Officialsubs Review: [Daisuki] Mobile Suit Gundam – Iron-Blooded Orphans (Episode 06)

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Don’t worry about spoilers; nothing plot relevant has happened in the show since episode 3.

Table of Contents

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Results

 

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: 480p MKV (353 MB, 8-bit), 720p MKV (589 MB, 8-bit), 1080p MKV (878 MB, 8-bit)

Japanesiness: No honorifics, but the characters in the show are supposed to speak English, so this was probably the right call.

English style: American English.

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/dAds7Zdd

Speed: Simulcast.

Translation style: Officialsubs.

Site: http://www.daisuki.net/

 

 

 

Visual Review

Karaoke.

Opening.

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_00.38_[2015.11.22_12.25.46]

I don’t get the capitalization scheme either.

Webm link (12 MB)

Rating: With officialsubs, as long as there’s a translation you gotta count yourself lucky. I mean, these pros are just figuring out what typesetting is; let’s give ’em time to reach the new millennium.

 

 

Insert + Ending.

What?

What?

Webm link (8 MB)

Rating: Words are indeed on the screen, so… pass?

 

 

Typesetting.

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_14.01_[2015.11.23_00.24.00]

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_24.39_[2015.11.22_12.23.35]

One for two is still a failing grade, guys. ._.

 

 

 

Script Review

Main Script.

These subs are so obviously written by an unpaid Japanese intern that I’ll have to go back to the basics for most of the lines. Not sure how long my sanity will hold up, but like my spirit animal Naruto, I’ll give it all my ganbarres.

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_02.06_[2015.11.22_12.26.07]

  • Don’t force yourself
  • Rest

These are two separate thoughts that need to be written as such. Otherwise this reads like “Don’t [force yourself and rest]”, and who wants to attempt the distributive property on a shitty anime script?

“Don’t force yourself. Get some rest, Gaelio.”

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_02.37_[2015.11.22_12.26.54]

Unless I misunderstand the concept of space, there’s more than one route to Earth. Funnily enough, if the TL wasn’t so far gone, they’d realize just how close they were to something passable.

“If that’s so, they’ll be en route to Earth soon.”

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_03.03_[2015.11.22_12.27.26] [HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_03.07_[2015.11.22_12.27.34]

Each line has different issues, but I’m throwing them together to save a bit of room. …that is now invalidated by this explanation. Fuck.

Line 1: “Is the reinforced armor the same as a Mobile Worker’s?”

Line 2: are with a -> have

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_05.41_[2015.11.22_11.56.48]

You can’t use a dictionary as your primary translation tool and expect it to fly with native audiences. Grammar is a factor.

“Since we’re at conflict with Gjallarhorn”

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_05.46_[2015.11.22_11.57.06] [HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_05.48_[2015.11.22_11.57.10]

The way this line is written implies that they’re looking for someone who could “take care of” (as in kill) people on Mars. Yet at the same time, that has to be wrong, because it makes no fucking sense.

There’s an absurd amount of lines like this in Daisuki’s official subs where you just have to write off whatever’s being said, since it’s skull-numbingly illogical. Were the show any smarter, this would make the official release unwatchable. But since most of the dialogue is BL subtext, Daisuki manages to get away with it. The pricks.

You know it’s bad when you can’t even pass the shit timing off on HorribleSubs.

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_06.03_[2015.11.22_11.57.56] [HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_06.07_[2015.11.22_11.57.47]

Awkward. He’s saying that he hopes they really are a mafia, cuz that would mean they’d actually have enough independence from Gjallarhorn to tell ’em to piss off.

Again, people shouldn’t have to jump through hoops like fucking whales just to reach the proper conclusion. These subs should make sense on face value.

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_06.23_[2015.11.22_11.58.22]

This is like saying “Will that Microsoft support us?” Drop the “that”, cuz there’s only one Teiwaz that Orcus could possibly be referring to.

Also, if you’re gonna use “such” in this instance, it would be “such kids as us” or “kids such as us”. Probably shouldn’t go that route though, cuz Orcus ain’t exactly an upscale kinda gent.

Go with “Will Teiwaz even offer support to kids like us?”

(If I were editing the script I’d probably throw in something like “brats” instead of “kids”, so as to play along with Orcus’s brash personality… but the fixes I’m offering are less good edits so much as they are patchwork fixes. The whole thing needs a thorough overhaul.)

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_06.30_[2015.11.22_11.58.36]

That’s not how “nor” works.

“As it is, we can neither return to Earth nor return to Mars.”

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_09.28_[2015.11.22_12.02.46] [HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_09.29_[2015.11.22_12.02.50]

“I see”? or “I see?” depending on what quote standard you wanna pledge loyalty to. Either way, when a character is quoting another, you gotta use these little things called quotation marks.

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_14.22_[2015.11.22_12.09.36]

Similar to fujoshi-made MEPs, releases like this are one of the few times where not having a decent understanding of English is the ideal state to experience it. Otherwise you’re getting migraines jabbed into your skull with every illiteracy-inspired sentence.

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_15.09_[2015.11.22_12.10.34]

-wrong

+awry

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_15.44_[2015.11.22_12.11.39]

tactics

Also, you don’t really use factors… which you’d know if you spoke a lick of English. Google Translate was a mistake.

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_19.23_[2015.11.22_12.15.46] [HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_19.28_[2015.11.22_12.15.54]

Like the last time I brought this up, if you’re quoting someone, fucking quote them.

Him? -> “His”? or “His?”

[HorribleSubs] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [720p].mkv_snapshot_21.25_[2015.11.22_12.18.57]

“get going”? No, they’ve already fucking started down that path, you imbecilic shitfucks.

“Now we’ll just keep going to the bitter end. Right?”

 

 

 

Results

Watchability: Watchable.

Overall grade: Low Pass.

While watching with the officialsubs won’t result in any issues insofar as generally understanding what’s going on, the low-quality translation will certainly not enhance your viewing experience. IBO deserves better than this.

Mobile_Suit_Gundam_Iron_Blooded_Orphans_04_-_Daisuki_vs_Flax

Don’t look to “fansubs” like RaiseYourFlax to fit that description, though.

 

Luckily(?), there is one more entry into this competition — that certainly qualifies for a review. And according to my schedule, that’s gonna be coming up right after I finish these potstickers.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_02.34_[2015.11.22_23.35.17]

It’s gonna be a fierce race to the bottom.

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Fansub Review: [Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam – Iron-Blooded Orphans (Episode 06)

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Two reviews in twice as many hours? This is what happens when I get a work-from-home day after a chill weekend. Wish they came up more often.

Table of Contents

Release Information

Visual Quality

Script Quality

Results

 

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: 720p MKV (312 MB, 10-bit)

Japanesiness: No honorifics.

English style: American English.

Encoding details: http://pastebin.com/ZC6rL2TZ

Speed: Slow (>48 hours)

Translation style: Daisuki edit.

 

External links.

Group website: https://mankonnichiwa.wordpress.com/

IRC channel: #manko@irc.rizon.net

 

 

 

Visual Review

Karaoke.

Opening.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_00.34_[2015.11.23_10.20.54]

Webm link (13 MB)

The emblem’s more than a bit unsightly, and they couldn’t even get the shade of red right.

I’ll give Manko points for trying to use a sensible color scheme, but that ain’t enough to qualify this karaoke as good.

Rating: Okay.

 

 

Insert + Ending.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_23.12_[2015.11.23_10.21.10]

Webm link (8 MB)

For inserts, when there’s tons of dialogue, it can often make sense to relegate the karaoke to one of the upper corners of the screen — so it doesn’t distract the viewers. And yes, that’s what they should have done in this case.

As far as the ED proper goes, I don’t hate the effect, but whoever chose that font needs to book an eye doctor appointment right now. Art may be subjective, but that shit is objectively bad.

Rating: Meh.

 

 

Typesetting.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_13.49_[2015.11.23_00.23.34]

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_24.26_[2015.11.23_00.43.03]

Sure.

 

 

Other.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_01.56_[2015.11.22_23.32.50]

Manko’s font choice is eye-blindingly hideous to the point that if you do decide their subs are the right choice for you, I recommend that you demux the script and replace everything but the signs with decent fonts. Otherwise you’re gonna have 20-odd minutes of visual hangover crushing your soul every time you fire up an episode.

 

Manko_IBO_06

Manko is also the sorta group to stealth release v2s. So if you’re the kinda person who likes to archive releases, you may wanna check back every now and then, since your v1 may not match up with their retconned one. Can’t have fansubbers owning up to their mistakes, after all — their egos are ever-so-delicate.

 

 

 

Script Review

Main Script.

Note that while I do have about as many screens here I included in my Daisuki review, I would still peg Manko’s subs as better as far as the English goes. Just don’t expect the improvements to be night and day.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_00.13_[2015.11.22_23.28.02]

The comma indicates he’s saying “stop it” to his ship. Which he is, of course, not.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_02.34_[2015.11.22_23.35.17]

We were so close to having a good release on our hands with this one. Manko, why? ;_;

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_05.05_[2015.11.22_23.40.34] [Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_05.08_[2015.11.22_23.40.41]

“Sure”? Are you fucking kidding me? She’s not using a goddamn dismissive affirmative here; she’s fucking flooding her pants and (politely) acknowledging that she understands the goddamn fucking significance of that shitty poor-person bracelet. Fix your fucking English.

Sure. -> Right.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_05.11_[2015.11.22_23.42.45]

As opposed to their next steps moving back? Crucified Christ, this subglish is pissing me off.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_07.01_[2015.11.22_23.47.12]

long-distance communication

Cuz “long-distance” is an adjective here, as you should damn well know.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_09.37_[2015.11.23_00.04.34]

What is she, fucking three?

adorable -> cute

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_09.43_[2015.11.23_00.05.22]

country girl -> country bumpkin

“country girl” doesn’t quite have the negative connotation that “country bumpkin” does. Do recall that even people in the Gundamverse love their Taylor Swift.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_09.51_[2015.11.23_00.08.01] [Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_09.55_[2015.11.23_00.08.09]

That’s not how the word “united” works.

-united

+split

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_10.39_[2015.11.23_00.09.40]

“hold hearings”? What is he, a fucking judge?

No, he agreed to “hold talks”. Kudelia’s going down to Earth to negotiate with him, not to fucking stand trial like a crack dealer.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_12.06_[2015.11.23_00.18.30] [Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_12.10_[2015.11.23_00.18.37]

Learn to quote, Manko devs. It’s about the only time you’ll come up with something intelligible.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_12.24_[2015.11.23_00.20.02] [Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_12.26_[2015.11.23_00.20.07]

These lines don’t even come close to fitting together. ._.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_13.31_[2015.11.23_00.22.18]

This isn’t wrong, but it sure as fuck is an obscure use of the word “keen”. Why wouldn’t you just use “eager” here instead?

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_13.38_[2015.11.23_00.28.45] [Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_16.26_[2015.11.23_00.28.21]

Well, which one fucking is it?

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_19.11_[2015.11.23_00.34.34] [Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_19.15_[2015.11.23_00.34.53]

We’ve been here before. Here’s a hint, Manko: “”

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_19.19_[2015.11.23_00.35.27]

“cold”? That’s not exactly a positive adjective. Cool is what Daisuki had, and what they’re saying in Engrish, so I’d just go with that. If you really must go with a different term, use “cool under pressure” or “calm”.

Also, “has courage” would typically be represented in this instance by “courageous”.

[Manko] Mobile Suit Gundam - Iron-Blooded Orphans - 06 [1D48ACC4].mkv_snapshot_22.51_[2015.11.23_00.41.10]

Return it back, huh? I bet your mother wishes she could. (#zing)

 

 

 

Results

Watchability: Watchable.

Visual grade: D+ (I really hate that fucking font.)

Script grade: C-

Overall grade: C-

With a better dialogue font and a goddamn QC, Manko would be the best choice for IBO, hands down. But with as many fuck-ups as you saw here, and the additional effort you’d have to expend if you care about your eyes, you’d be forgiven for taking your chances with Daisuki.

 

All right, IBO reviews over. Time to pour myself a full glass of whiskey and put The Departed on.

All right, IBO reviews over. Time to pour myself a full glass and put The Departed on. Nothing like ending the night on some Jack and DiCap.

 

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Undertale? More Like Undergood! Zing!

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If it’s hard to create a game this uninspired, Undertale sure isn’t showing it.

 

Story

tl;dr: It’s generic Disney bullshit covered in forced memes.

Undertale_Japery

OH BOY YOU FUCKING GOT ME

In Undertale, you play as a gender-agnostic 12-year-old who climbs up a mountain to kill yourself because your dad deleted your tumblr account once he caught you getting off to Blood on the Dance Floor fanfics.

After falling into the mountain rather than off it (cuz kids apparently can’t even kill themselves right these days), you find yourself in a budget wonderland of monsters and adventure.

You are then set off on a journey back to the human world, and allowed the choice of defending yourself against monsters who want to steal your soul… or becoming the Undertale equivalent of a walking cum-dumpster.

Undertale_Too_Kawaii

Bless your fucking heart, sweetie.

Other than its reddit-tier writing, Undertale isn’t particularly terrible in the story department… just so long as you realize you are playing something likely designed to get a game dev in the pants of children.

Undertale_Risky_Frisky

Probably not worth the Frisk there, buddy.

With three endings required to get the “full” experience, there is some depth to this story if you’re willing to dig for it. Unfortunately, that requires tolerating the gameplay longer than any sentient being should have to.

More than I like playing this game, at least.

More than I like playing this game, at least.

 

 

 

Le Puzzles

Undertale_can_be_so_puzzling

I hate puzzles when they’re in good games, and I hate them even worse when they’re in RPGMaker trash like Undertale.

Fucking great.

Now I almost regret climbing that mountain to kill myself.

Against the game’s desperate attempts to defend the existence of puzzles in-universe, the vast majority of the puzzles serve not as world-building instruments but as suspension-destroying speedbumps.

Undertale_Unsolvable_Puzzles

How is this supposed to make me enjoy the game more?

While I can understand that Toby Keith (the main game dev, I think) needed something to increase the run-time of his game, forcing players to run slowly walk through empty dungeons only punctuated by terrible puzzles and frustrating mob/boss encounters is not the right way to go about it.

Oh yeah, we haven’t talked about the combat yet, have we?

 

 

 

The Combat

Undertale_Comic_Gracelessly_Adapted_From_Caribun's

Undertale is fucking hard, and in all the wrong ways.

The basic idea is you have to play a poorly designed bullet hell minigame as you try and convince monsters to fight against the patriarchy or some shit.

Undertale_Combat

If this looks fun, just know it isn’t.

If you’re going through the game as intended (“true pacifist” route for all you tumblrinas who wanna play dumb), the damage that enemies do to you gets so progress-destroying that you have to spend time memorizing patterns rather than, you know, actually playing the damn thing. What a sack of shit.

Oh yeah, I guess it is worse on the genocide route.

Oh yeah, I guess it is worse on the genocide route. Here’s to being fucked either way.

 

 

 

Music

This bit-starved bullshit (quality OST link) brings me back to a time when I wish I didn’t have Undertale’s spiked bat of a dildo using my ears like a fucking blender.

The only way the soundtrack could be worse is if it was playing Little Game like every other fucking homestuck fan tribute that somehow gets stuck in my Youtube queue does.

And I’m still not convinced this isn’t a hidden track.

 

 

 

Characters

Undertale_Main_Cast

I’ll give Undertale that it has a cute, balanced, and memorable cast (that you will soon see ruining your local anime con). But who cares about played-out skeleton memes…

sorry skelebros

Sorry, skelebros.

…when you have:

 

Spoiler:

The Top 4 Undertale Waifus

Lest you forget what site you’re on~

 

Waifu #4: Undyne

Undertale_Undyne

Thank the gods for hormone-inspired fanart.

Undertale_Frolicking_Time

Otherwise, you couldn’t pay me enough.

 

 

Waifu #3: Toriel

Undertale_Toriel_x_me_4eves

Please don’t analyze why she made my list. Just… just let me have this.

 

 

Waifu #2: tem

Undertale_the_tem_stands_for_tem

I swear to god, tem, I would fuck your fucking eyes straight if it got me another 10 gold for the tutu.

 

 

Waifu #1: Muffet

Undertale_Miss_Muffet

That tuffet tho.*

*The caption doesn’t quite fit with this specific fanart, but you gotta admit it’s a good line right?

You know… if it had worked… in this particular instance.

…okay, maybe it’s time to call it a night.

 

 

 

Final Score

Undertale_Final_Boss_(not_rly_tho)

Spoiler:

8/10.

Eh, it’s only 5 hours long.

And the fanart's really good.

And the fanart’s really good.

The Shimoneta Hentai I Just Fapped to Instead of Marathoning the Show Like I Had Planned

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It has now been 0 days since a Drunk_Sage post.

I cropped out the shit that ain’t worth fapping to. If ya click on the pics you can probably get to the full images, but I can’t see why anyone would bother.

Shimoneta_01 Shimoneta_02 Shimoneta_03 Shimoneta_04 Shimoneta_05 Shimoneta_06 Shimoneta_07 Shimoneta_08 Shimoneta_09 Shimoneta_10 Shimoneta_11 Shimoneta_12 Shimoneta_13 Shimoneta_14 Shimoneta_15 Shimoneta_16 Shimoneta_17 Shimoneta_18 Shimoneta_19 Shimoneta_20 Shimoneta_21 Shimoneta_22

 

You’re welcome. I know I am. <3

Vidya Review: Major/Minor: Major Problems/Minor Upside

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Just kidding; there is no upside. This game is ass.

I’ll admit it — as with most of my video game purchases, I acquired Major/Minor solely for the promise of anime tits. But after I bought this game, I realized I had been bamboozled in the worst possible way.

Major_Minor_Header

Major/Minor: A game of lies and deceit.

Yes, that header image is nothing more than a clever optical illusion, as if you force your eyes upward just a bit, you’ll see those “anime tits” are, in fact, furry tits. #Catfished.

To ensure no one else would make the mistake I did, I decided to review the game. May my pain be your gain.

 

 

 

Plot/Gameplay

Wow! It's fucking nothing!

Wow! It’s fucking nothing!

“You” have just won the greatest lottery of all time: a yearlong Japanese concert tour with Klace — the most important and popular popstar in the entire furry world. Who is also a millionaire. And did I mention he’s a millionaire?

Subtle or self-conscious, the game is not.

Subtle, the game is not.

But trouble is afoot in Furry Tokyo! Someone’s been copying the Persona 4 plotline and it’s up to you to stop them. …by not playing this redneck rape dungeon of a game.

Trust me, it's not worth it.

Retroactively making Persona a mistake.

As this a budget visual novel, the only gameplay comes from clicking through poorly written self-insert fanfiction as you are occassionally stopped to make a “choice”. And I put “choice” in quotation marks cuz the game makes it abundantly clear what it wanted you to do in each scenario.

Major_Minor_my_first_mistake_was_buying_this_game

Even without the heavy-handed guilt trip bullshit, the game is overwrought in the descriptions of its one-trope characters.

Major_Minor_so_definite

Perhaps the game’s target audience is too stupid to feel insulted by this, but I think the shitbag dev could have thrown a bone to those who accidentally found themselves playing this garbage. It’s only polite.

 

 

 

Shit’s Fucking Weird

Yeah, I know I could take some cheap shots at the furry fandom here, but who wants to deal with being e-picketed by Autism Awareness groups? Instead, I’m gonna talk about how god-awful & cringey this shit can get if you somehow manage to find yourself more than a line or two into the game.

First up is the awkward fetishization of “the foreign”.

Major_Minor_gaijin_is_a_kawaii_term

Look, I get how someone could take a look at another culture and say, “Hey, that shit looks better than what I’ve got here. Why can’t I have that?” According to Wikipedia, over 7 billion non-Americans do exist.

Major_Minor_cuz_everything's_cooler_in_Japanese

But when you make a game about how fucking sugoi that there Japan is, and try to prove your point with this kinda shit…

Major_Minor_Nippon_Banzai

Major_Minor_lol-casual-racism

Is the game racist? I think its target audience would say so.

…I mean, it’s hard to not feel offended on behalf of Japan.

 

But the cringe doesn’t end there.

If you didn’t think some societal outcast making a game based around how “super fucking awesome” his fursona is was gonna stop at just one character… he bases the entire fucking game around his fucked-up sense of social norms. I mean, just look at these fucking screenshots.

Major_Minor_a_gay_guy's_opinion_of_women Major_Minor_excuses Major_Minor_hwy Major_Minor_I_ltrly_cnt_evn Major_Minor_yes_this_is_how_you_friends

No well-adjusted person could come up with those lines. Regardless of what Disney says, not everyone should reach for their dreams. Some of them should try high-diving into cement.

 

 

 

Furgrish

This game was clearly put together by someone for whom even the spelling of GED would be a Herculean task.

Me hate Major/Minor.

Me hate Major/Minor.

 

Quotation marks and semicolons are randomly strewn throughout the (what only technically qualifies as) text…

Major_Minor_QS1 Major_Minor_QS2 Major_Minor_QS3

…idioms are wrong and words are misspelled…

Major_Minor_the_grass_is_always_greener Major_Minor_geeze_louis

…and pluralization is handled with fucking apostrophes…

Major_Minor_plural Major_Minor_ization

Ignoring the mistakes (as hard as that might be), the writing is an insult to the very concept of literacy itself. I have a folder overflowing with examples of this rancid alphabet soup, but I’ll limit it to just one more so your brain doesn’t black out in self-defense.

Major_Minor_this_is_what_our_participation_trophies_have_wrought

RIP my language.

If you want more, enjoy the hangover.

 

 

 

~The End~

Sweet Jesus, we got there!

Sweet Jesus, we got there!

The game thankfully ends after just 40 minutes, imploring you to replay it, and promising updates to the game “every month” (until the end of time, apparently?). Yet after this first chapter, even the most far-gone furfags should have enough sense to cut their losses. Not even furries deserve to be subjected to this blatantly low-quality cash grab.

On the one hand, I feel entirely entitled to a refund for this shit (cuz Steam offers those now). On the other, I think it’s really fucking funny that I paid $10 for the literary equivalent of a forever-virgin’s micropenis masturbation.

Guess you can keep my money, Klace. Maybe spend it on a diving cap.

 

Overall score: 2/10


A Very (Belated) Crymore Christmas v2015

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I missed Christmas, but I’m pretty sure Ramadan or whatever it is the Jews celebrate goes on for another week. So in the spirit of the season so too shall we.

Ornaments

Crymore Banner Christmas 15 01 Crymore Banner Christmas 15 02 Crymore Banner Christmas 15 03 Crymore Banner Christmas 15 04

Collect ’em all.

 

 

Presents (for you, even!)

Present_GET

During this week, you can reasonably expect the following:

  • Things Dark_Sage Paid For v3
    • Cuz if you aren’t living vicariously, you aren’t living.
  • Vidya review
    • People threw me some suggestions over in the OT, but who knows what I’ll actually boot up. It could even be something you care about!*
      • *it won’t be
  • Con post completion
    • Sakura-con 2015.
  • Anime opinions
    • Why formulate opinions other than my own?
  • Stupid meta post
    • I failed you all pretty hard this year, so we’ll be addressing that. At this point, 2016 will either be a renaissance or a dark sage (so let’s plan for the former).

I mean, I have a week. I should be able to get through these.

...right?

…right?

 

 

And …that’s it.

Looking at you, bae

This one’s for you, bae-chan.

The best part about the collection post being on the schedule is that turning into a meth head counts as writing. So I’m gonna get back to writing. Someone’s gotta do something about these fucking bugs after all.

wriggle_nightbug

Winter 2016 Preview – Part 1: Cuz Spring 2016 Is Next Season

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Christmasmore continues! …or starts, really.

 

Cheat Sheet

<Image incoming, if Zeregate ever updates their fucking site.>

 

 

 

The Series

Dagashi Kashi

Dagashi_Kashi_-_Shidare_Hotaru_02

Manga: idk, idc

Light Novel: idk, idc

Animation Production: idk, idc

I haven’t read shit about this series, but why the fuck would you need to when you have that fucking face looking at you?

I busted so many nuts over this you could call me the fucking nutcracker.

I busted so many nuts over those eyes you could call me the nutcracker.

Is there a pv? Is this based on a manga? Probably, but you have all the info you’ll ever need right here:

Boom, baby.

Boom, baby. (And boobs, baby.)

Can you just imagine crazy-eyes dragging her fingers across her face? Animated? Mother Mary, forgive me.

Dagashi_Kashi_-_Shidare_Hotaru_01

Looks like we’re going till we hit blood, boys!

I’m gonna straight call this AOTY 2016 unless KyoAni makes their next series a show about a club for hypersalivating yanderes. Till then, looks like we’ve just got one.

Time to slay the mouse king again.

Time to slay the mouse king again~

 

 

Norn9

Norn9

Manga: http://bato.to/reader#02a24f0afe66ab8b_2

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Kinema Citrus & Orange

I’m down for most any genre of anime, including bishieslut harems, but the show has to stand on its own two feet. Free!, for example, managed this quite well, proving definitively that both guys and gals are okay with sexualizing minors as long as it’s hot enough.

18 in the dub, illegal in the tub.

18 in the dub, illegal in the tub.

Norn 9, sadly, doesn’t look like it’s gonna get there no matter how far it drags its faulty chromosomes along.

n9

Sorry Japan, but this ain’t getting anyone wet.

Even ignoring the LQ everything that the trailer exudes, the premise itself gives enough reason to avoid this generi-bad cash grab:

A lonely amnesiac is bullied and persecuted by her village for being born with the evil power of fire. Because assaulting sentient flamethrowers is a good idea in this universe.

She boards an airship carrying a bunch of people with shitty powers (like the ability to make grass grow) to go to the end of the world and save it or someshit.

On board, she finds a number of pretty boys with dark pasts who can only be redeemed by the power of her gaping vagina. But will it be enough?!

Find out next time on: Daddy Issues, the Anime

Actually, my damned perfect writing sorta made the series sound cool. So let’s go with the main reason to avoid this being the middle-school production values~

 

 

Oshiete! Galko-chan (Please tell me! Galko-chan)

Oshiete_Gyaruko-chan

Manga (nsfw): http://nhentai.net/g/149169/

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: feel.

One day tanning bed addict Galko catches her loser cousin jacking off on her school uniform.

hawkward

Coming to the same conclusion as to the only way to make the situation less awkward, they decide to have steamy incest sex.

Chance_get

Quality character interactions and striking social commentaries soon commence, as is Japanese tradition.

Tissues plz

The series is pretty self-contained in the one volume that’s been released so far, so I’m not sure how exactly they’re going to make a full series out of this. Still, the base material is solid enough that I’m sure a steady hand can bring the series to a well-deserved finish.

I apologize for nothing.

I apologize for nothing.

 

 

Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku o!

Egh

Manga: http://bato.to/reader#b5a301431b96e1bb_3

Light Novel: http://skythewood.blogspot.sg/p/gifting-wonderful-world-with-blessings.html

Animation Production: Studio DEEN (they suck)

Lemme preface this kebabening by saying I absolutely love the manga.

Chuu2

Only a monster wouldn’t.

The gist is a bunch of bumbling idiots go around failing generic RPG quests and getting bailed out of every stupid situation with the power of plot armor. Think DanMachi, but if the entire party was Hestia. It’s stupid and addictively fun.

…or at least, that’s the route the manga took.

Oh what could have been.

Oh what could have been.

If you subject your eyes to the PV, it becomes clear that this is going to be a shoestring-budget production with everything played straight and a couple ass-shots as half-hearted compensation.

DEEN bringing the QUALITY

If any studio other than DEEN was in charge of the ass-shots, I’d consider it adequate compensation. ;_;

I’m sure the series is going to be more “true to the LN” by ignoring the genre mockery, but an RPG-style anime that takes itself seriously needs to bring something new to the table to avoid being forgotten. And from what I’ve seen of this series, without the irreverence or parody, this is going to be out of mind far beyond the duration of its run.

 

 

Macross Delta

Macross_Delta

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Satelight

It’s Macross. Remember to put a towel on your seat before watching.

 

 

Boku dake ga Inai Machi (Erased)

Boku_dake_ga_inai_machi

Manga: http://bato.to/reader#16f1f693faf3dc41

Light Novel: N/A.

Animation Production: A-1 Pictures

Don’t be fooled by the cool seinen art, this show has nothing going for it, least of all a semblance of maturity.

MC-kun (a mangaka, how original!) leads a shitty life, and then one day someone important dies to him, so he goes back to the past to fix it & save a bunch of kids from a serial killer. Yeah, he has time travel powers, and also the ability to sense any danger around him, which he resolves to use to stop the serial killer and -save everyone-. If you’re wondering how this creates tension, the answer is it doesn’t.

As the series limply paces to the logical conclusion you saw coming from its initial framing, you’d be forgiven for holding your breath during the moments when a plot twist just has to be coming. Because why the fuck wouldn’t it? But you will be let down every fucking time by writing as poorly cobbled together as your parents’ marriage.

Is it a spoiler if I say the advertising is incredibly misleading re: the importance of this girl?

They aren’t even OTP. Fuck this false advertising.

This is a mystery series punctuated entirely by its blind adherence to the long-held belief that Japan isn’t allowed to create a mystery of worth that doesn’t involve cicadas or seagulls. I’m sorry it looks as pretty as it does.

Remember this post when you watch the show anyway, naively thinking I could ever be wrong about something.

Remember this post when you watch the show anyway, naively thinking I could ever be wrong about something.

 

 

Sekkou Boys

Sekkou Boys

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Liden Films

Other than the pervasive smell of wet dogs and stale cum, there are a multitude of reasons to never socially interact with the anime kids. That they will find this series enjoyable is another to add to the list.

It's funny because the idea of classical busts becoming idols is absurd!

It’s funny because the idea of classical busts becoming idols is absurd!

Save your soul and just avoid this low-effort idiot pandering. Japan can’t into comedy.

 

 

Saijaku Muhai no Bahamut (Undefeated Bahamut Chronicle)

WHAT A WACKY AND ORIGINAL ANIME SITUATION

Manga: http://bato.to/reader#8cb60d822e0e748a_3

Light Novel: https://www.baka-tsuki.org/project/index.php?title=Saijaku_Muhai_no_Bahamut

Animation Production: Lerche

~Shitty summary courtesy of ANN~

Lux, is the former prince of an empire named Arcadia that was overthrown in a rebellion five years earlier.

He accidentally trespasses in a female dormitory’s bathing area, sees the kingdom’s new princess Lisesharte naked, and incurs her wrath.

Lisesharte then challenges Lux to a Drag-Ride duel.

Drag-Rides are ancient armored mechanical weapons that have been excavated from ruins all around the world.

Lux used to be called the strongest Drag-Knight, but now he’s known as the “undefeated weakest” Drag-Knight because he will absolutely not attack in battle.

After his duel with Lisesharte, Lux ends up attending the female-only academy that trains royals to be Drag-Knights.

Spoiler:

HashtagVomit

 

 

 

tl;dr

Big_Order

For real tho, my Spring 2016 hype is unbearable.

If you wanna be entertained:

  • Dagashi Kashi
  • Macross Delta

 

If you’re really that bored:

  • Boku dake ga Inai Machi (Erased)
  • Oshiete! Galko-chan (Please tell me! Galko-chan)

 

If you hate yourself:

  • Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku o!
  • Norn9
  • Sekkou Boys
  • Saijaku Muhai no Bahamut (Undefeated Bahamut Chronicle)

 

Welp, I think I’ve written enough for one preview. Up next is Sakura-con 2015: ~The Final Two Days~. Shenanigans ahead.

Should I make an introductory post?

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Hi, I’m Etoce. I’m here to review the shitty song translations people post on YouTube because puddi won’t do it.

 

Why?

There are a lot of shitty song translations on YouTube. And some good ones. But mostly shitty ones that need to be called out. In the words of famed song translation police officer damesukekun, “Translating other people’s words brings responsibilities.” I wouldn’t be that dramatic, but it’s pretty annoying when the most visible videos have experience-hampering subtitles attached to them. (Also, don’t worry, I won’t DMCA-takedown-request anything.)

miku_rena

If only there were a yandere-cosplaying Miku on the prowl to eliminate the people butchering her songs

Or at least that’s the noble reason to do this. Really, I just want to yell at bad translations because they annoy me.
 

My qualifications

None.
 

Review policy

Most YouTube translations are one-person jobs, so grades can be taken as a judgement of that person’s worth, rather than as just an appraisal of one particular video. As a result, I won’t be very inclined to review multiple videos from the same uploader unless I have a specific reason to.

Each review will have four components to the final grade. From importantest to unimportantest, they are

  1. Heart: The amount of love that I can feel emanating from the translator’s effort (usually this will be none)
  2. Faith: How accurately the meaning of the translated lyrics reflects the songwriter’s intent, in my estimation
  3. Craft: How well-written the lines are, and how well they flow together
  4. Sheen: Catch-all field for visual niceness, including but not limited to subtitle styling

Together, they combine to create a grade from A to F. Here’s an brief and unhelpful explanation of each level (I might add examples later):

  • A: A-level subs represent efforts where every facet is done with unquestioned competency. Both the contents and feel of the song are faithfully rendered.
  • B: B-level subs have a few questionable bits, but as a whole, both meaning and feeling are conveyed more or less faithfully, and the end result is pleasant.
  • C: C-level subs are those which manage to avoid major blunders while not providing much worth of its own.
  • D: D-level subs are the bare minimum of adequacy. The lines make sense and at least seem to be based on the original lyrics in some way, but have little nuance preserved.
  • F: F-level subs either have major failings in interpretation, or are otherwise so poorly done that deciphering the subtitler’s intent is so difficult that you’d probably rather just close your eyes and listen to the song.

Remember, in contrast to 23-minute anime fansubs, these videos are only six minutes long, max. You have much less room to mess up.
 

How are you going to decide what to review?

I’m going to focus mainly on songs that I like (and therefore care about) to start, but if you have any suggestions, drop a comment.

Song Translation Review: [Jayee] Anata no Utahime

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So, uh… alright. Let’s just go check some old songs out and… wow. They’re worse than I remember. Maybe the good ones got deleted or something.

 

About the song

あなたの歌姫 (Anata no Utahime) is one of the first songs ever written for Hatsune Miku, published just nineteen days after her release in 2007. Written in the classic Vocaloid style, putting full emphasis on the novelty of a virtual idol, it is an essential piece of Vocaloid history.

Given the extreme historical import of this piece as well as its continued popularity (as exhibited by a remake in 2009 and its subsequent prominence in the Project DIVA games), one would expect there to be some decent translation out there.

 

About the uploader

The first result I get when I type “anata no utahime” into YouTube is this video by someone called Jayee. 44k views? Seems low. Where are all the other ones? Did they get DMCA-takedown-request-ed?

This Jayee person seems to have done the entire 2010 Thanksgiving’s Day concert set list. Are they any good? Let’s find out.

 

Title

The only thing in question is what you want to translate 歌姫 as. The near-official translation of the term is “diva” (as in Project DIVA), but that word has a bunch of connotations in English that Japan probably didn’t intend. Still, the alternatives all have their drawbacks—”songstress” is very rare, “singer” loses nuance, “song princess” sounds silly, etc.—so there really isn’t a perfect answer.

Jayee goes with “Your Songstress”, which is fine.
 

Prettiness

27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_01.12_[2016.01.03_03.54.02]

It’s not very pretty, but at least it’s legible. Most of the time. There are a few cuts where the words come up against Miku’s white dress and it gets hard to read.

 

Lyrics

27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_00.24_[2016.01.03_20.24.05]

If I were being generous, I could let this go as poetic phrasing, but given how much of a trainwreck the whole thing is (oops, spoilers), this guy’s not getting any benefit of the doubt. This should be something like “the PC in this house”. And who still uses “PC” to refer to generic desktop computers?

27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_00.40_[2016.01.03_20.26.27]

You mean “please treat me nicely”.

27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_00.45_[2016.01.03_20.27.17]

This is a “hey wtf r u doin” chotto, not a “hey wait c’mon come back” chotto.

27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_00.48_[2016.01.03_20.28.08]

They got the romaji wrong (it’s “hiwai”, not “hiwari”), which looks like it could just be a typo, but the English suggests that it was a Shisogapo. 卑猥 means “obscene”/”lewd”, not “cheap”.  And what’s with the weird spacing on “uta wa senaide”?

27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_00.57_[2016.01.03_20.31.32]

The “chanto” (which they’ve apparently rendered as “clearly”) is supposed to be in contrast to the messing around that Master-sama was doing in the previous line when he made Miku sing those lewd lyrics, not describing her singing.

The rest of the line would be an borderline-tolerable creative translation if the translator had shown general competence, but they haven’t, so I’m gonna knock them for it too.

27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_01.10_[2016.01.03_20.34.04] 27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_01.14_[2016.01.03_20.34.16]

The whole “that time” thing is bad, but the second part is actually decent.

27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_01.25_[2016.01.03_20.35.16] 27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_01.27_[2016.01.03_20.35.26]

More like “your very own songstress” or “your personal songstress”. The onlyhood is on the wrong thing.

27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_01.44_[2016.01.03_20.36.21] 27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_01.46_[2016.01.03_20.36.30]

This is as bad a tense mismatch as I’ve ever seen.

27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_01.58_[2016.01.03_20.37.20]

No. She’s being tsun-tsun here. “I’m looking forward to it… not.” Or something cleverer.

27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_02.24_[2016.01.03_20.40.53]

What’s with all this stuff about her heart? What’s wrong with something obvious like “there’s something I want to tell you”?

Protip: if you want to use your own running metaphors, make sure they’re not terrible.

27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_02.32_[2016.01.03_20.42.13] 27. Hatsune Miku - Anata no Utahime (Your Songtress) ~Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-oun9EfDtQqg.mp4_snapshot_02.34_[2016.01.03_20.42.20]

Surely you could have made this one line.

 

Results

When a review for the simplest 28-line song in the world has 15 screenshots, you know something’s gone wrong. And that’s after I cut out a bunch of lines with clumsy and stilted wording because there was already enough to talk about. Every other line has a mistranslation, which is pretty unforgivable given how basic the entire song is, and there isn’t much to redeem those mistakes elsewhere in the effort.

Hopefully, the rest of the concert isn’t as awful. But that hope seems to be dead:

01. Hatsune Miku - Hajimete no Oto (The First Melody) ~ Project DIVA Live Solo Japan Concert 2010 HD-pBUCbFJlfUw.mp4_snapshot_01.06_[2016.01.03_21.59.33]

  • Heart: –
  • Faith: F
  • Craft: F
  • Sheen: C
  • Overall: F

Song Translation Review: [ikuy398] from Y to Y

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Next up, we have a native Japanese speaker! I believe it.

About the song

From Y to Y is a pretty generic breakup song by JimmyThumb/OneRoom-P without much notable about it other than its considerable popularity. It’s my personal breakup song of choice though, so it gets the nod over all the other ones out there.

 

About the uploader

This my-name-is-Yuki-backwards person’s channel has a bunch \English-subtitled Vocaloid music videos, many of which have 100k+ views. Certainly a laudable contribution to the world. This particular video (link) is their second attempt at subbing from Y to Y, so I’m sure it’s their best effort. I also hear they’re a native Japanese speaker, which is good! They must understand the lyrics perfectly!

But can they share their understanding of the lyrics with the Anglosphere? Let’s find out.

 

Title

There isn’t much to translate in the title unless you can figure out what the fuck it means. I hear there’s a light novel or something based off this song out there, so maybe you can find the answer there or something.

 

Prettiness

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_02.13_[2016.01.04_07.12.13]

It’s a pretty simple black-on-white that kinda matches the original video’s song title text. There’s also a fade effect on each line.

It’s not world-shattering, but it’s fairly pleasant to look at.

 

Lyrics

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_00.22_[2016.01.04_05.53.06]

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_00.25_[2016.01.04_05.53.18]

This kind of alyrical shit is what you’re going to find throughout the video. I won’t point too much of it out, but know that it’s there pretty much every line.

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_00.30_[2016.01.04_05.54.20]

It really isn’t possible to make story-changing mistranslations in this kind of song, so stuff like this is as big as you’re gonna get. The picture Mr. Jimmy Thumbs is painting is one where ex-boyfriend-kun is coldly walking away while girl-chan wants to say “don’t go”, but can’t. The insideness of the screaming is important.

Try something like “Deep in my trembling heart, I screamed like a child…” (though once you get the basic shit down, you could probably stand to fancy this line up a bit).

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_00.47_[2016.01.04_05.55.29]

You could call this a clever pun with the word “teardrop”, but you’d be wrong. One, because it isn’t clever, and two, because I’m 100% sure it wasn’t done on purpose. Honestly, I’m not sure preserving the idiom here does anything positive. Even then, you’d probably be better off with something like “I have to leave before the tears start to flow”.

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_00.50_[2016.01.04_06.01.01]

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_00.55_[2016.01.04_06.01.20]

I’ll ignore the grammar in the first shot for now. I just have something to ponder.

So, like, I know what the original lyrics mean, and with that knowledge, I understand the English translation perfectly. But is it actually clear? I guess?

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_01.21_[2016.01.04_06.07.45]

Is this another pun? Could they all be intended? I refuse to believe it. And what’s a “one-room”? I mean, I know it’s a one-room apartment, but they’re certainly not giving us any clues.

I’d also like to correct the grammar, but fixing that abomination would require rewriting the whole line.

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_01.29_[2016.01.04_06.15.18]

C’mon, this parallel structure is Grade-A breakup song lyrical genius, and you’re messing it up with your shitty translations. Ex-boyfriend-kun has the power to warp both space and time and you’re hiding it from us!

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_01.38_[2016.01.04_06.16.58]

This is 100% wrong.

You may ask, “But all the words in the Japanese are there in the English!”, to which I respond that your question was not a question, and that the English makes no sense and has no meaning, which makes it an incorrect translation.

I’ll admit this is tricky to word nicely in English, but try something like “Do we live in a world where I’m not even allowed to dream?”

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_02.05_[2016.01.04_06.21.25]

There’s a kind of poetry to the broken English ikuy398 churns out.

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_02.37_[2016.01.04_06.24.28]

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_02.42_[2016.01.04_06.24.39]

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_02.47_[2016.01.04_06.24.50]

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_02.52_[2016.01.04_06.25.03]

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_02.56_[2016.01.04_06.25.14]

These five lines form a stanza. Can someone tell me if it makes any sense? You might as well not have a translation. How about

“Every day of the present pushes out a day of the past” // “when time and memory are limited.” // “And once the time comes” // “your memories of me, too…” // “…will disappear”

You don’t have to be figurative about it, either. Just make it make sense.

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_03.23_[2016.01.04_06.36.48]

This makes it sound like they got turned into frogs or something.

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_04.05_[2016.01.04_06.38.06]

Sigh… (And yes, the largeness of the bed is supposed to be important—it shows how not there ex-boyfriend-kun is)

Hatsune Miku - 'from Y to Y' (subbed again).mp4_snapshot_05.08_[2016.01.04_06.44.35]

Uh… I don’t know what to say. I personally don’t wish we meet up again in a former mind.

“I hope our paths cross again one day and we can be like we used to be.”

 

Results

Not a good run for our native Japanese translator. There’s a reason why professional translators almost exclusively translate into their native language—production is harder than comprehension. And it’s not just grammar and flow issues (which on their own would have made this a shit-tier sub)—the subs are riddled with straight-up translation errors. When your English skills are so bad that you can’t make yourself understood, you probably shouldn’t be translating into English.

That said, an incomprehensible translation is better than an incorrect one, so it could be worse.

  • Heart: –
  • Faith: F+
  • Craft: F
  • Sheen: B
  • Overall: F

Sakura-Con 2015 – Days 2 & 3 – Saturday & Sunday

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The post you didn’t know I forgot to post, for the con you should’ve gone to but didn’t.

Day 0 ‒ Thursday: http://www.crymore.net/2015/04/08/sakura-con-2015-day-0-thursday/

Day 1 ‒ Friday: http://www.crymore.net/2015/04/19/sakura-con-2015-day-1-friday/

You’re not missing too much if you haven’t read those. Though I do display (un)surprising prescience with my prediction that I’d only finish this series in 2016.

 

 

Day 2 – Saturday

For the majority of this day, puddi will be absent because he thought subbing Plastic Memories was gonna be a better use of his time than enjoying the only good anime con on the continent.

 

11:00-12:00 Cosplay Skits

Since I don’t have any video for this, I imagine we were told that all the skits would be going up on Sakura-con’s Youtube channel. And since the last thing uploaded to their channel was in 2013…

bow-li

Ain’t got nothing for ya.

 

12:00 Crepes

Waited an hour in line for some dulce di luce caramel crepés. Spent about an hour eating ’em too.

Crepes

#Worth

 

2:00

Route A (+Rekyu +shcboomer): Arc Systems Works Interview

Route B (+puddi): Walkcon

 

2:30 Karaoke Idol Finals

As I had earlier bought out the Ponycan booth, I was offered an exclusive signing of my Yuki Yuna BD by Yuki’s VA, Haruka Terui… which was at the same time as Karaoke Idol. So I skipped the signing. Celebrity means next to nothing to me, but no-stakes fan competition?

Yeah, baby!

Yeah, baby!

I’d have a bunch of the best performances for ya here, but the lady running the contest told me that press (which usually means just me, cuz who else would cover these events?) was to be seated one row behind general audience seating. So every one of my shots was ruined by this annoying creeper and his friends:

Anime fans have the boldest reproductive strategies.

Anime fans have the boldest reproductive strategies.

 

4:00 Karaoke Idol Finals (cont.)

The rest of the crew came in toward the end of the contest, so we regrouped and stayed for a few songs after the room switched back into you-call-it-karaoke (which at Sakura-con is limited to anime/Japanese songs alone — sorry Disney fans; you can go ruin some other con kthx).

As we were watching people sing, some chick went up to Rekyu and non-surreptitiously snapped some shots while he was sitting down. Now, Rekyu wasn’t cosplaying, and this girl wasn’t staff or anything, so it came out of nowhere. As the boys and I were looking at one another like “Did that just happen?” she scurried off into the con with a quickness that could set records for awkwardness.

Sexy is not consent!

Ladies, please remember cosplay sexy is not consent!

 

5:00 We decided to wash away the taste of Rekyu’s assault with pizza, so we headed back to the hotel.

puddi offered to walk three blocks down to a local pizza place and grab us a couple pies from there, but I was determined to save us $3 at any cost, so we ended up ordering from Domino’s instead.

Senran_Pizzura

It tasted like giving up on life.

Digesting what only technically qualified as food, we made ourselves some mixed drinks, but had no good way to mix them. …Until one of the boys pulled out a stick of pocky & invented the greatest drink known to man:

How_we_do

Pocky fucking highballs!

Can’t mix a drink without the things now, which is getting to be wallet corrosive seeing as my local Target raised the price of a box from $1.17 to $1.99. Yeah, it’s fucking bullshit.

 

6:15 Gardinelia/Kanako Ito Concert

Figuring we couldn’t do proper con coverage without at least giving the main event a shot, we traipsed on over to the concert hall to see what was up.

So we got in, joined the mosh pit, and waited 45 minutes for the concert to start while fucking Log Horizon music throbbed painfully in the background (and you’d best believe all the weebs chanted along to the one Engrish line from the OP they could remember).

Muh_Ears

Muh ears tho!

After Kanako Ito finally got on stage and finished her first song (Hack Into the Gate), we figured we’d bounce and see what the rest of the con had to offer.

But then who was phone

COMMENTARY ON THE USE OF RECORDING DEVICES AT LIVE EVENTS

 

7:30 Hotel regrouping (the hotel’s like a block away from the con proper, so it’s always fucking convenient)

 

8:00

Route A (+All): Japanese Cultural Appropriation Panel

Route B (+None): Post Sakura-con pix on tumblr

I had max bonds going into the con anyway, cut me some slack.

 

8:45 Caught the tail-end of the panel

It was your typical captive-audience, race-based, narcissistic ranting from a petulant child whose clearly coddled upbringing addled their mind with the privilege of wealth & a complete lack of responsibility.

So no, I didn’t like it.

 

9:00 Walkcon, Smash, Kanzume

Kanzume Goddess: For when you're at an anime con but don't want to be like the pedos who play Tanto.

Kanzume Goddess: For when you want to live the weeb life, but don’t want to be like the pedos who play Tanto.

 

10:40 Down to karaoke, last call

Now, I’ve got some pretty sweet video of Rekyu & puddi’s ballad this night, but like my rare memes, I’d rather not share, so I’ll let you DIY their song of choice. (Feel free to post a link in the comments if you actually do — this may surprise you, but I’m all about self-promotion.)

After closing the place out, we threw back to our room to get a bit… tipsy.

 

12:30+

And tipsy we got. This was Rekyu’s first time doing shots with the boys (minus puddi who was fucking fansubbing), so we made it special.

Here's to social lubrication!

Here’s to social lubrication!

Events:

  • Test of courage’d our way to Hobo Bridge
  • Attempted to climb the metal gazebo (Rekyu exclusive)
  • Ninja rolled all over outside, cuz “Like Link, rolling makes me go faster” (Rekyu exclusive)
  • Tried to start a Falcon-kick fight club (Rekyu exclusive)
  • Introduced a Magic Kaito cosplayer to the most important magic of all: friendship

There were more events but I’d like to be invited back next year, so we’re gonna say the list ends here. \o/

 

2:30 Back to the hotel room so we could sleep with each other

I passed out almost immediately, but the rest of the boys have a bit more stamina, so they stayed up to watch bad anime until 4:30.

I missed out. ;_;

I missed out. ;_;

 

 

Day 3 – Sunday

Sundays are generally uneventful even at a con like Sakura-con. Hell, it’s a testament to the event that we managed to find anything to do.

 

8:30 Breakfast, early morning, Subway

God, Subway breakfast is underwhelming.

Going with the first subs you see is rarely the best choice.

Going with the first subs you see is rarely the best choice.

 

9:45 “From fan to pro, working as a professional geek”

With a title like that, we knew we had to visit this panel.

Otaku_Review

The quality of this banner tells you everything you’d need to know about the site.

It takes a lot of cojones to run a panel presenting yourself as a pro when your highest # of views in a day doesn’t even come close to Crymore’s lowest.

And when you don’t make a dime off the site, despite your stated “best efforts”? When you have to work another job to pay people to write for you? When your greatest accomplishment was six fucking years ago when Huffington Post randomly quoted you in an article for information you copy-pasted from a now-defunct news blog?

Why, I do say I'm about to come down with a case of the gigglies!

Why, I do say I’m about to come down with a case of the gigglies!

God, what an awful panel. Though, you could say we had some fun dragging the aforementioned information out of him. :3

 

1:00 Rolling Grills

I was super hyped for this — a 2-hour q&a with Wit Studio? That’s what a special panel is supposed to be, baby!

Unfortunately, Funimation was in charge of the panel and decided to devote most of it to simply screening the first four episodes of the show.

Bad Funi!

Bad Funi!

You want a fucking screener? Show it in the vid rooms. Don’t rob the guests who flew out from fucking Japan by giving them only 30 minutes with an audience they would never be able to interact with otherwise… And especially don’t sabotage the questions by essentially limiting their scope to the first four episodes of the show. Poor fucking form.

Obviously, I didn’t stay. The anime was terrible anyway.

 

??? AMVs

This middle of the day’s sorta blurred, but I think I killed a lot of time in the AMV room with Rekyu before we got bored and played walkcon for the remainder of the day.

Have an AMV I don’t recall seeing but was good anyway, so fuck it:

 

5:00

Ran out to get some Sakura-ccinos.

Sakura-ccino

These things are objectively bad, but goddamn are they delicious.

 

6:00 Comments & Suggestions -> Fare thee wells

We drop by this session every year. It’s a good way to make sure the con’s staying on track (RIP Ohayocon), and looks like it is. 2016 get hype.

 

 

…Speaking of hype, it’s about time to see my place, isn’t it?

I've been organizing.

I’ve been organizing just for you.

Things Dark_Sage Paid For v3

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With a special endorsement by Tokyopop CEO, Stu Levy!

 

By the Numbers

Stu_Levy_so_tsundere

Yes, kids, do realize the only way to measure the depth of your fandom is by the depth of your wallet. Someone should tell those animators who can’t even afford to buy what they worked on.

Before this post becomes a bitter, emotional op-ed, I think letters of marque apply to everyone in my crew, so who wants to join? Nothing better than a license to pirate!

All aboard me hearties~

All aboard, me hearties~

 

Okay, the number$:

Manga volumes: 4,000+

Anime BD series: 300+

Anime DVD series: 330+

Games (physical ofc): 600+

Figures: 100+

Amount I’ve jizzed (mL) on said figures: No comment.

But numbers only go so far — I’d just look at that list and Saitama-style OK it. How about some fucking context?

And how about some music to set the mood?

 

 

Room 1

Room_1_-_Full_Overview_Small

This is the most boring room, but sheer scale has to count for something, right?

(Note that for all these pictures if you open them, they’ll default to “_Small.jpg” to save your bandwidth. If you want ’em 4 times bigger, change that bit in the URL to “_Large.jpg”. This is case sensitive.)

Spoiler:

Part 1 (Ha -> Ma)

Room_1_-_P1_Overview_Small

Room_1_-_P1_P1_Small Room_1_-_P1_P6_Small Room_1_-_P1_P5_Small Room_1_-_P1_P4_Small Room_1_-_P1_P3_Small Room_1_-_P1_P2_Small

Yes, I have to use a step ladder to get to the top shelf. It’s gonna kill Drunk_Sage one of these days.

 

Part 2 (Ma -> My)

Room_1_-_P2_P1_Small

I’d have so much more space without those windows. God, if only Minnesota air wasn’t so much better than the rest of the world’s, I’d take ’em out like Papa John’s. (Delivery? Hell no, I gotta save money for manga somehow.)

 

Part 3 (My -> Ph)

Room_1_-_P3_P1_Small Room_1_-_P3_P2_Small

And as you can see, my Onani Master Kurosawa volumes are– Oh localizers couldn’t “properly” censor it without cutting out half the pages, so it was never released in the States? Now I remember why I use Batoto.

 

Part 4 (Ph -> Tr)

Room_1_-_P4_Overview_Small

Room_1_-_P4_P1_Small Room_1_-_P4_P2_Small Room_1_-_P4_P3_Small Room_1_-_P4_P4_Small Room_1_-_P4_P5_Small Room_1_-_P4_P6_Small Room_1_-_P4_P7_Small Room_1_-_P4_P8_Small

This ain’t even my collection’s final form. Wait till Room 2.

 

Part 5 (Tr -> Va)

Room_1_-_P5_P1_Small

Gonna need more walls cuz I’ve run out of room for my sweet Yu-Gi-Oh & Zoids collection. ;_;

 

Again, just a shitload of manga. Yes, trying to take it all in at once will cause you to get lightheaded. But I think we can go deeper than this. Don’t you?

 

 

Room 2

Room_2_-_Overview_Small

Yes, that is what you fucking think it is.

Spoiler:

A Game of Tomes

Room_2_-_Throne_P1_Small Room_2_-_Throne_P2_Small

This is where I read all my manga. If it looks uncomfortable, it is — a king should never sit easy.

 

Room_2_-_Throne_View_Small

But the view is grand.

 

I call it ‘The Cauldron’…

Room_2_-_The_Cauldron_Small

…cuz this is where the magic happens.

Oh yes I did.

Oh yes I did.

 

Figures

Room_2_-_Figures_P1_Small Room_2_-_Figures_P2_Small Room_2_-_Figures_P3_Small

They’re still in their boxes cuz if I put them in a glass case and then decided to move… Well, have you ever moved before? Heavy, fragile, and dangerous doesn’t exactly top the list of pleasant experiences.

 

Anime DVDs (S- -> Sp)

Room_2_-_Anime_Small

I wanted to limit the anime to Room 3, but I didn’t. :<

 

Longscrolls

Room_2_-_Wallscrolls_P1_Small

ChinAnime so good.

 

Specialty Shelf

Room_2_-_Specialty_Overview_Small

Room_2_-_Specialty_P1_Small Room_2_-_Specialty_P2_Small Room_2_-_Specialty_P3_Small Room_2_-_Specialty_P4_Small Room_2_-_Specialty_P5_Small

Have the fanmanga on display as a reminder. Of what? Who fucking cares, that was a hella cool line.

 

Manga Part 1 (# -> Fu)

Room_2_-_Manga_Overview_Small

Room_2_-_Manga_P1_P1_Small Room_2_-_Manga_P1_P2_Small Room_2_-_Manga_P1_P3_Small Room_2_-_Manga_P1_P4_Small

Yes, it’s quite hard when you want to sort the series, cuz just one addition means I have to spend an entire day changing fucking everything. So I usually just sort every couple of months. (My throne is only half of the current queue.)

 

Manga Part 2 (Fu -> Ge)

Room_2_-_Manga_P2_Small

If everything else burned and only Future Diary was left, well I’d be right fucking pissed. But the point I’m trying to make is that Future Diary is the best manga ever and I will fight you IRL if you disagree.

 

Manga Part 3 (Ge -> Ha)

Room_2_-_Manga_P3_Small

If you haven’t noticed by now, a number of series I collect are missing random volumes. I’d tell you why, but it’s already time for Room 3!

 

 

Room 3

Room_3_-_Overview_Small

Oh baby, it’s about to get sexy up in here.

Spoiler:

Room_3_-_The_Sex_Station_Small

Yeah, I fuck. (pillows)

Leave 'em like Vietnam vets.

Leave ’em like Vietnam vets.

 

Anime BDs + Anime DVDs Part 1 (A -> Ba)

Room_3_-_Anime_Overview_Small

Room_3_-_Anime_P1_P1_Small Room_3_-_Anime_P1_P2_Small Room_3_-_Anime_P1_P3_Small Room_3_-_Anime_P1_P4_Small Room_3_-_Anime_P1_P5_Small

The only BDs I actually care about in this collection are the Aniplex blus, Sentai/Funi LEs, NISA sets, and the imports. Everything else is pretty much just filler. But there’s enough that it looks cool, right?

 

Anime DVDs Part 1 (Ba -> Gi)

Room_3_-_Anime_P1_P6_Small Room_3_-_Anime_P1_P7_Small Room_3_-_Anime_P1_P8_Small

I stopped buying DVDs last year, cuz it ain’t ’95 and 480p is no longer impressive, but their standard packaging is so much more interesting and varied than the BDs that I couldn’t just assign them to a corner in my closet.

 

Anime DVDs Part 2 (Gi -> Ki)

Room_3_-_Anime_P2_P1_Small Room_3_-_Anime_P2_P2_Small

If you’ve been around here long enough, you’ll know what I’m using as shelving here. If not, stop being so fucking casual

 

Anime DVDs Part 3 (Ki -> S-)

Room_3_-_Anime_P3_P1_Small Room_3_-_Anime_P3_P2_Small Room_3_-_Anime_P3_P3_Small

This is the part where it bounces into Room 2.

 

Anime DVDs Part 4 (Th -> To)

Room_3_-_Anime_P4_P1_Small

… and this is the part where it bounces back.

 

Anime DVDs Part 5 (To -> Zo)

Room_3_-_Anime_P5_P1_Small

Complete~

 

Figures -Side 2-

Room_3_-_Figures_Overview_Small Room_3_-_Figures_P1_Small Room_3_-_Figures_P2_Small

This is the more ecchi side of my figures, cuz I figure by the time you’re wondering why these chicks aren’t wearing bras you won’t be wearing yours either.

 

Closet

Room_3_Closet_Overview_Small

More otaku shit in my closet than a tumblrina.

 

Room_3_Closet_Misc_P1_Small

This is where I put my anime shit that can’t fit in my dressers. Trust me, you collect a lot of binnable swag when you go to as many cons as I do.

 

Room_3_Closet_Misc_P2_Small

Only the finest threads for a sage like me. (“Sorry your senpai was too busy noticing me” if you were trying to work it out.)

 

Room_3_Vidya_P1_Small Room_3_Vidya_P2_Small Room_3_Vidya_P3_Small Room_3_Vidya_P4_Small Room_3_Vidya_P5_Small Room_3_Vidya_P6_Small

There are just stacks of CEs on top of CEs, in front of other CEs… in the boxes of other CEs.

Racks on racks

Racks on racks

Yeah, I should probably have these on display over the DVDs, but I’ve gotta save something for the v4, right?

 

Wallshots

Room_3_-_Wallscrolls_P1_Small Room_3_-_Wallscrolls_P2_Small

I’ve only got so many mirrors, so

 

 

Lists

You may say you want these, but your eyes are probably gonna glaze once you start reading.

But I suppose I could entertain you.

But I suppose I will entertain you.

 

Manga:

Spoiler:

.hack//4koma
.hack//alcor
.hack//GU+
.hack//Legend of the Twilight
.hack//link
.hack//XXXX
+Anima
0/6
07 Ghost
100% Perfect Girl
11th Cat
12 Beast
13th Boy
1520
20th Century Boys
7 Billion Needles
9 Faces of Love
9th Sleep
A Bride’s Story
A Capable Man
A Centaur’s Life
A Certain Scientific Railgun
A Devil and Her Love Song
A Fallen Saint’s Kiss
A Foreign Love Affair
A Gentleman’s Kiss
A King’s Lesson
A Little Snow Fairy Sugar
A Love Song for the Miserable
A Perfect Day for Love Letters
A Place in the Sun
A Secretary’s Love
A Silent Voice
A Strange and Mystifying Story
A Tale of an Unknown Country
A Wise Man Sleeps
A. I. Revolution
A.I. Love You
About Love
Absolute Boyfriend
Accel World
Aegis
Afro Samurai
After I Win
After School Nightmare
Afterschool Charisma
Ai Ore!
Ai Yori Aoshi
Aion
Air Gear
Aishiteruze Baby
Ajin: Demi-Human
Akame ga Kill!
Akihabara @Deep
Akira
Alcohol, Shirt, and Kiss
Alice 19th
Alice in the Country of Clover
Alice in the Country of Hearts
Alice in the Country of Joker
Alice Love Fables
Alice on Deadlines
Alice the 101st
Alichino
Alien Nine
Alive
Alive the Final Evolution
All My Darling Daughters
All Nippon Air Line
All You Need Is Kill
Alley of First Love
All-Purpose Cultural Cat-Girl Nuku Nuku
Allure
Almost Crying
Amazing Agent Jennifer
Amazing Agent Luna
Amefurashi
Amnesia Labyrinth
An Even More Beautiful Lie
Andromeda Stories
Angel Cup
Angel Diary
Angel Para Bellum
Angel Sanctuary
Angel/Dust
Angel/Dust Neo
Angelic Layer
Angelic Runes
Angel’s Coffin
Ani-Imo
Animal Academy
Animal Land
Animal Paradise
Anne Freaks
Another
Antique Bakery
Aoi House
Aoi House in Love
Apollo’s Song
Apothecarius Argentum
Aqua
Aqua Knight
Aquarian Age Juvenile Orion
Arata the Legend
Arcana
Archlord
Are You Alice?
Aria
Arisa
Ark Angels
Arm of Kannon
Armageddon
Aron’s Absurd Armada
Arpeggio of Blue Steel
Asch the Bloody
Assassination Classroom
Astral Project
Atelier Marie and Elie
Attack on Titan
Attack on Titan – Before the Fall
Attack on Titan – Junior High
Attack on Titan – No Regrets
Author’s Pet
Avalon – Web of Magic
Aventura
Awkward Silence
Azumanga Daioh
B.Ichi
B.O.D.Y.
Baby and Me
Baby Birth
Backstage Prince
Bad Teacher’s Equation
Bakegyamon
Bakuman
Ballad of a Shinigami
Bambi
Bamboo Blade
Banana Fish
Banner of the Stars
Banner of the Stars II
Banya: The Explosive Delivery Man
Barakamon
Barefoot Waltz
Barrage
Basara
Baseball Heaven
Basilisk – The Kouga Ninja Scrolls
Bastard!!
Battle Angel Alita
Battle Angel Alita – Last Order
Battle Club
Battle Royale
Battle Vixens
Be With You
Beast and Feast
Beast Master
Beautiful People
Beauty is the Beast
Beauty Pop
Because I’m the Goddess
Beck – Mongolian Chop Squad
Beet the Vandel Buster
Berserk
Beyond My Touch
Beyond the Beyond
Big Hero 6
Biomega
Bird Kiss
Black and White – Tekkon Kinkreet
Black Bird
Black Butler
Black Cat
Black Gate
Black God
Black Jack
Black Knight
Black Lagoon
Black Magic
Black Rose Alice
Black Sun
Black Sun, Silver Moon
Blade for Barter
Blade of Heaven
Blade of the Immortal
Blame!
Blank
Blank Slate
Blazin’ Barrels
Bleach
Blood Alone
Blood Blockade Battlefront
Blood Lad
Blood Sucker
Blood+
Blood+ Kowloon Nights
Bloody Kiss
Bloody Monday
Blue Exorcist
Blue Inferior
Blue Sheep Reverie
Blue Sky
Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo
Bogle
Bokurano: Ours
Bomber Girl
Bond of Dreams, Bond of Love
Boogiepop Doesn’t Laugh
Boogiepop Dual
Border
Bound Beauty
Boy Princess
Boys Be …
Boys Love
Boys of Summer
Boys Over Flowers – Hana Yori Dango
Brain Powered
Bran Doll
Brave Story
Bride of the Water God
Brigadoon
Brilliant Blue
Bring It On!
Broken Angels
Btooom!
B’TX
Bunny Drop
Burst Angel
Bus Gamer
Buso Renkin
Butterflies, Flowers
Butterfly
Butterfly of the Distant Day
By the Sword
Cactus’s Secret
Cafe Kichijouji
Cafe Latte Rhapsody
Cafe Occult
Cage of Eden
Call Me Princess
Calling
Calling You
Camera Camera Camera
Candy
Canon
Can’t Lose You
Can’t Win With You!
Cantarella
Captain Nemo
Captive Hearts
Carciphona
Cardcaptor Sakura
Case Closed
Castle Mango
Castle of Dreams
Castlevania – Curse of Darkness
Cat Paradise
Category: Freaks
Cause of My Teacher
Ceres Celestial Legend
Chaika: The Coffin Princess
Chain Mail
Cheeky Angel
Cherry Juice
Chibi Vampire
Chibi Vampire Airmail
Chikyu Misaki
Children of the Sea
Chirality: To the Promised Land
Chi’s Sweet Home
Chobits
Chocolat
Chronicles of the Cursed Sword
Chrono Crusade
Chun Rhang Yhur Jung
Chunchu – The Genocide Fiend
Ciao Ciao Bambino
Cigarette Kisses
Cipher
Cirque du Freak
Citrus
Clamp School Detectives
Claymore
Clear Skies!
Click
Clover
Code Geass Knight
Code Geass Lelouch
Code Geass Nightmare of Nunnally
Code Geass Queen
Code Geass Stage
Code Geass Suzaku
Code Geass Tales of an Alternate Shogunate
Code:Breaker
Comic
Comic Party
Confidential Confessions
Constellations in My Palm
Corrector Yui
Couple
Cowboy Bebop
Cowboy Bebop – Shooting Star
Crazy Love Story
Crescent Moon
Crest of the Stars
Crimson Empire
Crimson Hero
Crimson Snow
Crimson Spell
Crimson-Shell
Cromartie High School
Croquis
Croquis Pop
Cross
Cross Game
Cross X Break
Crossroad
Crown
Crown of Love
Crushing Love
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Culdcept
Cute Beast
Cute Devil
Cy-Believers
Cynical Orange
D. Grayman
D.N. Angel
Daemon Hunters
Dance in the Vampire Bund
Dance in the Vampire Bund Gaiden (Dive in the Vampire Bund)
Dance in the Vampire Bund II: Scarlet Order
Dance in the Vampire Bund: The Memories of Sledge Hammer
Daniel X
Daphne in the Brilliant Blue
Dark Angel
Dark Edge
Dark Metro
Dark Moon Diary
Darker Than Black
Darkstalkers
Darkstalkers Maleficarum
Dash!
Dawn of the Arcana
Dazzle
Dead End
Deadman Wonderland
Dear Myself
DearS
Death Note
Demon Diary
Demon Flowers
Demon from Afar
Demon Love Spell
Demon Palace Babylon
Demon Sacred
Dengeki Daisy
Depression of the Anti-Romanticist
Descendants of Darkness
Desert Coral
Desire Sensibility
Desire: Dangerous Feelings
Destiny’s Hand
Detroit Metal City
Deus Vitae
Deva Zan
Devil May Cry 3
Devils and Realist
Devil’s Bride
D-Frag!
Di Gi Charat
Diabolo
Diamond Girl
Dictatorial Grimoire
Dinosaur King
Disgaea
Disgaea 2
Divine Melody
Dog X Cat
Dogs – Bullets & Carnage
Dojin Work
Dokebi Bride
Doll
Don’t Blame Me
Doors of Chaos
Dorohedoro
Dorothea
Dorothy of Oz
Doubt
Doubt!!
Dracula Everlasting
Dragon Drive
Dragon Eye
Dragon Head
Dragon Hunter
Dragon Sister!
Dragon Voice
Dragonar Academy
Dramacon
Dream Saga
Dry Heat
Duck Prince
Duetto
Duklyon: Clamp School Defenders
Durarara!!
Durarara!! – Saika Arc
Earthian
Eden: It’s an Endless World!
Eensy-Weensy Monster
Eerie Queerie
Eiken
Element Line
Elemental Gelade
El-Hazard – The Magnificent World
Embrace and Bloom
Emma
Enchanter
Endless Comfort
Endless Rain
Enmusu
E’s
ES – Eternal Sabbath
Et Cetera
Eternity
Eureka Seven
Eureka Seven – Gravity Boys and Lifting Girl
Everlasting Love
Evil’s Return
Evyione: Ocean Fantasy
Excel Saga
Eyeshield 21
Faeries’ Landing
Fafner – Dead Aggressor
Fairy Cube
Fairy Navigator Runa
Fairy Tail
Fairy Tail Blue Mistral
Fake
Fake Fur
Fall in Love Like a Comic
Fallen Moon
Falling into Love
Family Complex
Fantamir
Fate/Stay Night
Fever
Feverish
Fighting!!
Figure 17
Final Fantasy Type-0 Side Story
Fire Investigator Nanase
First Love Sisters
Fist of the North Star
Flame of Recca
FLCL
Flower in a Storm
Flower of Life
Flower of the Deep Sleep
Flowers & Bees
Food Wars
Fool’s Gold
Forbidden Dance
Forest of Gray City
Forget about Love
Four-Eyed Prince
Foxy Lady
Freak: Legend of the Nonblonds
Free Collars Kingdom
Freefall Romance
From Far Away
From the New World
Fruits Basket
Fujoshi Rumi
Full House
Full Metal Panic!
Full Moon wo Sagashite
Fullmetal Alchemist
Fushigi Yugi
Fushigi Yugi Genbu Kaiden
Future Diary
Future Lovers
G Gundam
GA: Geijutsuka Art Design Class
Gaba Kawa
Gacha Gacha
Gacha Gacha: The Next Revolution
Gakuen Alice
Gakuen Heaven
Gakuen Prince
Galaxy Angel
Galaxy Angel II
Galaxy Angel Party
Gals!
Game X Rush
Gamerz Heaven
Gangsta.
Gantz
Garden Dreams
Garden Sky
Gatcha Gacha
Gate 7
Gate Keepers
Genghis Khan: To the Ends of the Earth and the Sea
Genju no Seiza
Genshiken
Gerard and Jacques
Gestalt
GetBackers
Ghost Hunt
Ghost in the Shell – Stand Alone Complex
Ghost Slayers Ayashi
Ghosttalkers Daydream
Gimmick!
Gintama
Girl Friends
Girl Got Game
Girls Bravo
Glass Sky
Glass Wings
Go Go Heaven!!
Godchild
Golden Cain
Golden Prince and Argent King
Good Luck
Goong
Gorgeous Carat
Gosick
Goth
Gothic Sports
Gou-Dere Sora Nagihara
Grand Guignol Orchestra
Gravitation
Gravitation Ex
Great Place High School
Grenadier
GTO
GTO The Early Years
Guardian Hearts
Gun Blaze West
Gundam 00
Gundam 00 Second Season
Gundam 0079
Gundam 00F
Gundam Ecole du Ciel
Gundam Last Outpost
Gundam Lost War Chronicles
Gundam Seed
Gundam Seed Astray
Gundam Seed Destiny
Gundam Seed X Astray
Gundam W
Gundam W – Blind Target
Gungrave
Gunparade March
Gunparade March – Last Dance Gunparade
Gunslinger Girl
Gunsmith Cats
Gunsmith Cats Burst
Gurren Lagann
Guru Guru Pon-chan
Guyver
Gyo
Haganai: I Don’t Have Many Friends
Hana-Kimi
Hanako and the Terror of Allegory
Hanami – International Love Story
Hands Off!
Hanky Panky
Happiness Recommended
Happy Boys
Happy Café
Happy Hustle High
Happy Mania
Happy Marriage?!
Hard Rock
Haridama Magic Cram School
Harlem Beat
Haru Hana
Haruka: Beyond the Stream of Time
Harukaze Bitter Bop
Hate to Love You
Hayate the Combat Butler
Hayate x Blade
He Is My Master
Heat Guy J
Heaven Above Heaven
Heaven!!
Heavenly Executioner Chiwoo
Heaven’s Will
Hell Girl
Hellsing
Her Majesty’s Dog
Here is Greenwood
Hero Heel
Hero Tales
Heroes Are Extinct
Heroman
He’s My Only Vampire
Hetalia Axis Powers
Hey! Class President
Hibiki’s Magic
High School Debut
High School DxD
High School Girls
High School of the Dead
Higurashi
Hikaru No Go
Hikkatsu
Himeyuka & Rozione’s Story
His Arrogance
His Favorite
Hissing
Hitohira
Honey and Clover
Honey Hunt
Honey Mustard
Honey Senior, Darling Junior
Honey/Chocolate
Hoshin Engi
Hot Gimmick
Hot Limit
Hot Steamy Glasses
House of Five Leaves
How to Capture a Martini
How to Control a Sidecar
How to Seduce a Vampire
Hunter X Hunter
Hyde & Closer
Hyper Police
Hyper Rune
I Am Here!
I Dont Like You at All, Big Brother!!
I Hate You More Than Anyone
I Shall Never Return
I Want to Be Naughty
I Wish…
I. N. V. U.
Ice Blade
Ichigeki
Ichigenme… The First Class is Civil Law
Ichiroh!
id_Entity
I-Doll
Ikigami
Il gatto sul G
I’ll Be Your Slave
Imadoki!
Immortal Rain
In Dream World
in the Starlight
In the Walnut
Indian Summer – Koharu Biyori
Infinite Ryvius
Initial D
Innocent Bird
Innocent W
Instant Teen
Intense Rain
Intriguing Secrets
Inu x Boku SS
Inubaka – Crazy for Dogs
Inukami!
Inu-yasha
Invisible Boy
Invisible Love
I-O-N
Iron Wok Jan
I”s
Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?
Is This a Zombie?
Island
Isle of Forbidden Love
Itazura Na Kiss
Itsuwaribito
I’ve Moved Next Door To You
I’ve Seen It All
Jack Frost
Jack the Ripper – Hell Blade
Jade of Bango
Jazz
Jihai
Jing King of Bandits
Jing King of Bandits Twilight Tales
Jinki Extend
Jiu Jiu
JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure
Jormungand
J-Pop Idol
Judas
Judge
June
June Pride
Junjo Romantica
Junk Force
Junk: Record of the Last Hero
Just a Girl
Just Around the Corner
Just My Luck
Jyu-Oh-Sei
Ka Shin Fuu
Kabuki – Flower
Kage Tora
Kagerou Daze
Kagerou Nostalgia
Kamen Tantei
Kami Kaze
Kamichama Karin
Kamichama Karin Chu
Kamikaze Kaito Jeanne
Kamisama Kazoku
Kamisama Kiss
Kamiyadori
Kamui
Kamunagara
Kanna
Kannagi
Kannazuki no Miko
Kanpai!
Karakuri Odette
Kare First Love
Kare Kano – His and Her Circumstances
Kashimashi
Kasumi
Kazan
Kaze Hikaru
Kaze no Hana
Kedamono Damono
Kekkaishi
Key Princess Story: Eternal Alice Rondo
Kids Joker
Kieli
Kiichi And The Magic Books
Kikaider Code 02
Kill Me, Kiss Me
Kimi ni Todoke: From Me to You
Kimikiss
Kindaichi Case Files
King of Cards
King of Hell
King of the Lamp
King of Thorn
Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days
Kingdom of the Winds
Kingyo Used Books
Kirepapa
Kiss All the Boys
Kiss Blue
Kiss of the Rose Princess
Kiss Your Hair
Kisses, Sighs, and Cherry Blossoms Pink
Kitchen Princess
Kizuna: Bonds of Love
Knights
Knights of Sidonia
Knights of the Zodiac
Kobato
Kodocha: Sana’s Stage
Koihime Soushi
K-On!
Konkon KoKon
Kujibiki Unbalance
Kung-Fu Girl Juline
Kurashina Sensei’s Passion
Kuro Gane
Kurogane Communication
Kurohime
Kurozakuro
Kyo Kara Maoh!
Kyouhaku Dogs
La Corda d’Oro
La Esperanca
La Satanica
Lagoon Engine
Lament of the Lamb
Land of Silver Rain
Land of the Blindfolded
Laon
Last Fantasy
Last Hope
Laya the Witch of Red Pooh
Le Chevalier d’Eon
Le Portrait de Petit Cossette
Leader’s High
Legal Drug
Legend
Legendz
Les Bijoux
Let Dai
Lethe
Let’s Be Perverts
Let’s Dance a Waltz
Liberty Liberty!
Library Wars: Love & War
Life
Lights Out
Liling Po
Line
Little Butterfly
Little Cry Baby
Little Queen
Lives
Lizzie Newton: Victorian Mysteries
Log Horizon
Lone Wolf & Cub
Louie the Rune Soldier
Love Attack
Love Com
Love Com
Love Control
Love for Dessert
Love Hina
Love Hurts
Love in Hell
Love Is Like a Hurricane
Love Makes Everything Right
Love Master A
Love Mode
Love or Money
Love Quest
Love Recipe
Love Roma
Love Round!!
Love Share
Love Stage!!
Love Training
Love/Knot
Love+Alpha
Loveholic
Loveless
Lovephobia
Lover’s Flat
Lover’s Pledge
Loving Gaze
Lucky Star
Ludwig II
Lunar Legend Tsukihime
Lupin III
Maburaho
Mad Love Chase
Madara
Made in Heaven
Madness
Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Magic Knight Rayearth
Magical JxR
Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi
Magical X Miracle
Magika Swordsman and Summoner
Mahoromatic
Maid in Heaven
Maid in Japan
Maid War Chronicle
Maiden Rose
Maid-Sama!
Mail Order Ninja
Make Love and Peace
Mamiya Doll House
Mamoru the Shadow Protector
Mamotte Shugogetten
Mamotte! Lollipop
Man of Many Faces
Manga Dogs
Manga Sutra
Maniac Shorts-Shot
Manic Love
Mao-chan
Maoh: Juvenile Remix
Mar
March on Earth
March Story
Mardock Scramble
Maria Holic
Mark of the Succubus
Marmalade Boy
Mars
Master Keaton
Maximum Ride
Maxion
Mayo Chiki!
Me & My Brothers
Megaman Gigamix
Melted Love
Menkui!
Mermaid Saga
Meru Puri
Metal Guardian Faust
Metamo Kiss
Metamo Kiss
Meteor Prince
Metro Survive
Midnight Secretary
Midori Days
Mikansei No. 1
Millennium Darling 2006
Millennium Prime Minister
Millennium Snow
Million Tears
Minima!
Mink
Miracle Girls
Miss Me?
Missile Happy
Missing – Kamikakushi no Monogatari
Missions of Love
Mister Mistress
Mistress Fortune
Mixed Vegetables
Miyuki-Chan in Wonderland
Model
Momo Tama
Momogumi Plus Senki
Monkey High!
Monochrome Factor
Monster
Monster Hunter Orage
Monster Musume
Monster Soul
Moon and Blood
Moon Boy
Moon Child
More Starlight to Your Heart
Mouryou Kiden: Legend of the Nymph
Moyashimon
MPD Psycho
Mr. Flower Bride
Mr. Flower Groom
Mugen Spiral
Muhyo & Roji’s Bureau of Supernatural Investigation
Murder Princess
Musashi #9
Mushishi
My Boyfriend Is a Vampire
My Darling! Miss Bancho
My Dearest Devil Princess
My Girlfriend’s a Geek
My Heavenly Hockey Club
My Little Monster
My Love Story!!
My Only King
My-Hime
Mysterious Love
Nabari no Ou
Nabi the Prototype
Nadesico
Nambul: War Stories
Nana
Narration of Love at 17
Naruto
Natsume’s Book of Friends
Neck and Neck
Necratoholic
Negiho
Negima!
Negima!? Neo
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Neon Genesis Evangelion – Angelic Days
Neon Genesis Evangelion – The Shinji Ikari Raising Project
Neon Genesis Evangelion: The Shinji Ikari Detective Diary
Nephylym
Never Give Up
Never Kiss a Stranger
New Beginnings
NG Life
Night Head Genesis
Night of the Beasts
Nightmares for Sale
Nightschool – The Weirn Books
Ninin Ga Shinobuden
Ninja Baseball Kyuma!
Ninja Girls
Ninth Life Love
Nisekoi
No Game No Life
No Longer Human
No Matter How I Look at It, It’s You Guys’ Fault I’m Not Popular!
No Need for Tenchi
No. 6
Nodame Cantabile
Noise
Noodle Shop Affair
Nora
Noragami: Stray God
Nosatsu Junkie
Not Enough Time
Not So Bad
Now
Nura: Rise of the Yokai Clan
Oath to Love and Passion
Oh My God!
Oh My Goddess
Oh! My Brother
Old Boy
Omamori Himari
Once Upon a Glashma
One
One Fine Day
One Night Lesson
One Piece
One Thousand and One Nights
Onegai Teacher
Onegai Twins
One-Pound Gospel
One-Punch Man
Onimusha
Oninagi
Only One Wish
Only Serious About You
O-Parts Hunter
Operation Liberate Men
Orange Planet
Ordinary Crush
Oreimo
Oresama Teacher
Orfina
Original Sin
Orphen
Othello
Otodama: Voice from the Dead
Otogi Zoshi
Otomen
Our Everlasting
Our Kingdom
Ouran High School Host Club
Oyayubihime Infinity
Pandora Hearts
Panic X Panic
Papillon
Para Para
Paradise Kiss
Parasyte
Party
Passionate Theory
Passionate Two-Face
Pastel
Pathos
Pavane for a Dead Girl
Peacemaker
Peacemaker Kurogane
Peach Girl
Pearl Pink
Peepo Choo
Peigenz
Penguin Revolution
Peppermint
Pet on Duty
Pet Shop of Horrors
Pet Shop of Horrors: Tokyo
Phantom
Phantom Dream
Phantom Thief Jeanne
PhD – Phantasy Degree
Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney
Pichi Pichi Pitch Mermaid Melody
Pick of the Litter
Picnic
Pieces of a Spiral
Pig Bride
Pilgrim Jager
Pine Kiss
Pink
Pink Innocent
Pita-Ten
Pixie Pop – Gokkun Pucho
Planet Blood
Planet Ladder
Planetes
Platina
Platinum Garden
Please Save My Earth
Pluto
Pokemon Adventures
Pokemon Black and White
Pokemon Platinum
Polyphonica: Cardinal Crimson
Popcorn Romance
Portrait of M and N
President Dad
Pretear
Pretty Face
Pretty Maniacs
Pretty Poison
Priceless
Priest
Princess Ai
Princess Ai – The Prism of Midnight Dawn
Princess Ninja Scroll – Tenka Muso
Princess Prince
Princess Princess
Princess Resurrection
Princess Tutu
Private Teacher
Project Arms
Psychic Academy
Psychic Power Nanaki
Psycho Busters
Psy-Comm
Psyren
Puella Magi Series
Pumpkin Scissors
Punch Up!
Punch!
Purgatory Kabuki
Puri Puri
Q.Ko-Chan
QQ Sweeper
Queens
Qwan
R.I.P. – Requiem in Phonybrian
R.O.D. – Read or Die
R.O.D. – Read or Dream
Rabbit Man, Tiger Man Volume
Ragnarok
Ra-I
Raiders
Ral Grad
Rampage
Ranma ½
Rasetsu
Ratman
Rave Master
Ray
Re:play
Reading Club
Real
Real Bout High School
Real Lies
Real Love
Rebirth
Reborn!
Rebound
Recast
Red Angel
Red Hot Chili Samurai
Red River
Redrum
Reiko the Zombie Shop
Remote
Replica
Restart
RG Veda
Right Here, Right Now
Rin!
Rin-ne
Rolling
Romeo X Juliet
Rosario + Vampire
Rosario + Vampire Second Season
Rose Hip Zero
Roureville
Rozen Maiden
Rure
Rurouni Kenshin
S. A.
S. S. Astro
Saber Marionette J
Saikano
Sailor Moon
Sailor V
Saint Tail
Saiyuki
Saiyuki Reload
Sakura Ganbaru
Sakura Hime
Sakura Taisen
Samurai 7
Samurai Champloo
Samurai Deeper Kyo
Samurai Harem
Samurai Man
Sand Chronicles
Sankarea
Sarasah
Sasameke
Satisfaction Guaranteed
Saturn Apartments
Saver
Saving Life
Say I Love You
Sayonara, Zetsubou-Sensei
Scandalous Seiryo University
School Rumble
Scrapped Princess
Scryed
Sea View
Secret
Secret Chaser
Seduction More Beautiful Than Love
Seiho Boys’ High School!
Seimaden
Selfish Love
Selfish Mr. Mermaid
Sengoku Knights
Sengoku Nights
Senran Kagura: Skirting Shadows
Sensitive Pornograph
Sensual Phrase
Sequence
Seraph of the End – Vampire Reign
Seraphic Feather
Seven
Seven Days
Seven Deadly Sins
Seven of Seven
Sgt Frog
Shadow Star
Shakugan no Shana
Shaman King
Shaman Warrior
Shaolin Sisters
Shaolin Sisters Reborn
Shards of Affection
Shiki Tsukai
Shin Megami Tensei Kahn
Shinobi Life
Shinobu Kokoro – Hidden Heart
Shinshoku Kiss
Shirahime Syo
Shirley
Short Sunzen!
Short-Tempered Melacholic and Other Stories
Shoulder-a-Coffin Kuro
Shout Out Loud!
Shrine of the Morning Mist
Shugo Chara
ShutterBox
Shy Intentions
Sickness Unto Death
Sighing Kiss
Silent Mobius
Silver Diamond
Sister Red
Skip Beat!
Skyblue Shore
Slam Dunk
Slayers Special
Sleeping Moon
Snow Drop
So, I Can’t Play H!
Sokora Refugees
Sola
Solfege
Someday’s Dreamers
Song of the Hanging Sky
Sorcerer Hunters
Soul Eater
Soul Eater Not
Soul Rescue
Soul to Seoul
Speed Grapher
Spell of Desire
Spice & Wolf
Spiral: The Bonds of Reasoning
St. Dragon Girl
St. Lunatic High School
Stand By Youth
Star Project Chiro
Starry Sky
Stay Close to Me
Steal Moon
Steel Fist Riku
Stepping on Roses
Stolen Hearts
Stone
Stop Bullying Me!
Storm Flower
Strain
Strawberry 100%
Strawberry Marshmallow – Ichigo Mashimaro
Strawberry Panic
Street Fighter
Street Fighter Alpha
Strike Witches Series
Strobe Edge
Sugar Princess
Sugar Sugar Rune
Sugarholic
Suihelibe!
Suikoden III
Suki: A Like Story
Summer Wars
Summoner Girl
Sumomomo, Momomo
Sundome
Sunshine Sketch
Suppli
Suzuka
Swan
Sweat & Honey – Passion Fruit
Sweet Regard
Sweet Rein
Sweety
Switch
Sword Art Online Series
Sword of the Dark Ones
Tactics
Tail of the Moon
Tail of the Moon
Tale of a White Night
Tegami Bachi
Tena on S-String
Tenchi Muyo! Sasami Stories
Tenjho Tenge
Tenshi Ja Nai!
Testarotho
Tetragrammaton Labyrinth
The Adventures of Young Det
The All-New Tenchi Muyo
The Antique Gift Shop
The Battle of Genryu
The Beautiful Skies of Houou High
The Big O
The Cain Saga
The Candidate for Goddess
The Day of Revolution
The Demon Ororon
The Devil Does Exist
The Devil Within
The Drifting Classroom
The Earl and the Fairy
The First President of Japan
The Flat Earth/Exchange
The Flowers of Evil
The Gentleman’s Alliance
The Girl Who Runs Through Time
The Good Witch of the West
The Innocent
The King of Debris
The Knockout Makers
The Kurosagi Corpse Delivery Service
The Magic Touch
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya-chan
The Mythical Detective Loki Ragnarok
The Outcast
The Prince of Tennis
The Queen’s Knight
The Qwaser of Stigmata
The Recipe for Gertrude
The Record of a Fallen Vampire
The Ring
The Secret Notes of Lady Kanoko
The Stellar Six
The Story of Saiunkoku
The Tarot Cafe
The Third
The Vision of Escaflowne
The Wallflower
The Witch of Artemis
The World Exists For Me
The World of Narue
The Yagyu Ninja Scrolls
The Young Magician
This Ugly Yet Beautiful World
Those Who Hunt Elves
Threads of Time
Three in Love
Time Stranger Kyoko
Togari
Tokko
Tokyo Babylon
Tokyo Boys & Girls
Tokyo Mew Mew
Tokyo Mew Mew A La Mode
Toradora
Toto! The Wonderful Adventure
Tower of the Future
Train Man – A Shojo Manga
Train+Train
Tramps Like Us
Transluscent
Traveler of the Moon
Treasure Hunter
Trigun
Trigun Maximum
Trinity Blood
Tsubasa – Those With Wings
Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle
Tsukuyomi Moon Phase
Tuxedo Gin
Twin Signal
Twin Star Exorcists
Two Flowers for the Dragon
Two Will Come
Ugly Duckling’s Love Revolution
Ultimate Venus
Ultimo
Ultra Cute
Umineko When They Cry
Unbalance x2
Until the Full Moon
Utopia’s Avenger
V. B. Rose
Vagabond
Vaizard
Vampire Doll
Vampire Game
Vampire Hunter D
Vampire Kisses: Blood Relatives
Vampire Knight
Van Von Hunter
Vassalord
Venus Versus Virus
Very! Very! Sweet
Video Girl Ai
W Juliet
Walkin’ Butterfly
Wanted
Waqwaq
Warriors of Tao
Welcome to the NHK
Whistle!
Wild Act
Wild Adapter
Wild Ones
Wish
Witch Blade
Witch Class
With the Light – Raising an Autistic Child
Wolf God
Wolf’s Rain
X/1999
X-Day
XS Hybrid
xxxHolic
Yakitate!! Japan
Yggdrasil
Yokai Doctor
Yoki Koto Kiku
Yonen Buzz
Yongbi the Invincible
Yotsuba&!
You Are My Love Potion
Your & My Secret
Yozakura Quartet
Ysquare
Ysquare Plus
Yu Yu Hakusho
Yubisaki Milk Tea
Yu-Gi-Oh!
Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D’S
Yu-Gi-Oh! Duelist
Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Yu-Gi-Oh! Millenium World
Yu-Gi-Oh! R
Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Yume Kira Dream Shoppe
Yumekui Kenbun Nightmare Inspector
Yurara
Zatch Bell!
Zero – the Beginning of the Coffin
Zodiac P.I.
Zoids Chaotic Century
Zoids New Century
Zombie Fairy
Zombie Powder
Zombie-Loan
Zone-00

 

Anime BDs:

Spoiler:

.hack//Quantum
009 Re: Cyborg
A Lull in the Sea
A-Channel
Aesthetica of a Rogue Hero
Afro Samurai
Afro Samurai Resurrection
AKB0048 S1
Akira
Angel Beats!
AnoHana – The Flower We Saw That Day
Another
Aquarion Evol
Aria the Scarlet Ammo
Attack on Titan
Baka and Test OVAs
Baka and Test S1
Bakemonogatari
Basilisk: The Complete Series
Battle Girls – Time Paradox
Bayonetta: Bloody Fate
Ben-To
Berserk the Golden Age Arc I
Beyond the Boundary
Big Order OVA
Black Blood Brothers
Black Butler S1
Black Butler S2
Black Lagoon
Black Lagoon
Black Lagoon – Roberta’s Blood Trail
Bleach the Movie: Fade to Black
Bleach the Movie: Hell Verse
Blood Lad: The Complete Series
Blood-C
Blood-C – The Last Dark
Blue Submarine No. 6
Bodacious Space Pirates
Brave 10
Broken Blade
Btooom!
Burst Angel
C – The Money and Soul of Possibility Control
Canaan
Casshern Sins
Cat Planet Cuties
Chaos;Head
Children Who Chase Lost Voices
Chobits
Claymore
Code:Breaker
Coicent // Five Numbers
Colorful
Cowboy Bebop
Cuticle Detective Inaba
Daily Lives of High School Boys
Dance in the Vampire Bund
Danganronpa: The Complete Series
Darker than Black S1
Darker than Black S2
Date A Live
Deadman Wonderland
Denki-Gai
Detroit Metal City
Devil May Cry
Diabolik Lovers
Diebuster the Movie
Dream Eater Merry
Durarara!!
Dusk Maiden of Amnesia
Ebiten
Eden of the East
Eden of the East – Paradise Lost
Eden of the East – The King of Eden
ef – a tale of melodies.
ef – a tale of memories.
Elfen Lied
Engaged to the Unidentified
Eureka Seven
Eureka Seven – Good Night, Sleep Tight, Young Lovers
Evangelion 1.11
Evangelion 2.22
Fafner
Fafner – Heaven and Earth Movie
Fairy Tail
Fairy Tail
Fairy Tail the Movie – Phoenix Priestess
Familiar of Zero: Knight of the Twin Moons
Fantasista Doll
Fate/kaleid Liner
Fate/stay Night
Fate/stay Night – Unlimited Blade Works
Fate/zero
First Squad
FLCL
Flowers of Evil
Fractale
Freezing
Full Metal Panic!
Full Metal Panic!  – The Second Raid
Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu
Fullmetal Alchemist – The Conqueror of Shambala
Fullmetal Alchemist – The Sacred Star of Milos
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood
Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood OVAs
Ga-Rei Zero
Gargantia: The Complete Series
Gatchaman Crowds
Ghost in the Shell – Individual Eleven
Ghost in the Shell – Laughing Man
Ghost in the Shell – Solid State Society
Ghost in the Shell 2.0
Ghost in the Shell Arise
Gintama the Movie
Girls und Panzer
Girls und Panzer OVAs
Golden Time
Good Luck Girl
Ground Control to Psychoelectric Girl
Guilty Crown
Gunbuster the Movie
Gundam Suit 00 – A Wakening of Trailblazer
Gunslinger Girl S1
Haganai – I Don’t Have Many Friends
Haganai Next
Hal the Movie
Hanamonogatari
Hanasaku Iroha
Hanasaku Iroha the Movie
Harmonie
Heaven’s Lost Property S1
Heaven’s Lost Property S2
Heaven’s Lost Property the Angeloid of Clockwork
Heaven’s Memo Pad
Hellsing Ultimate
Heroic Age
High School DxD
High School DxD New
High School of the Dead
High School of the Dead OVA
Hiiro no Kakera
Horizon in the Middle of Nowhere S1
Horizon in the Middle of Nowhere S2
Humanity Has Declined
Inu X Boku SS
Inu-Yasha the Movie – The Complete Collection
Inu-Yasha: The Final Act
Is This a Zombie? S1
Jormungand S1
Jormungand S2
Kabukimonogatari
Kamisama Dolls
Kamisama Kiss
Kämpfer
Karneval
Kill la Kill
King of Thorn
Koimonogatari
Kokoro Connect
Kokoro Connect OVAs
K-On!
K-On! the Movie
Kurokami
Legend of the Millennium Dragon
Level E
Leviathan – The Last Defense
Listen to me, girls. I am your father!
Loups=Garous
Love Lab
Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions
Love, Election and Chocolate
Love-Live! S1
Lupin the Third – The Woman Called Fujiko Mine
Maken-Ki
Maoyu
Mardock Scramble the First Compression
Mardock Scramble the Second Combustion
Mardock Scramble the Third Exhaust
Mass Effect – Paragon Lost
Mayo Chiki
MM!
My Little Monster
My Mental Choices Are Completely Interfering With My School Romantic Comedy
Mysterious Girlfriend X
Nakaimo: Complete Collection
Natsume’s Book of Friends S1-S2
Natsume’s Book of Friends S3
Natsume’s Book of Friends S4
Natsuyuki Rendezvous
Needless
Nekomonogatari Black
Nekomonogatari White
Ninja Scroll
Nisemonogatari
No Game No Life
No. 6
Nura – Rise of the Yokai Clan
Occult Academy
Okamikakushi: Masque of the Wolf
Okami-san & Her Seven Companions
One Piece Film – Strong World
One Piece Film – Z
Oniai
Onimonogatari
Origin – Spirits of the Past
Otorimonogatari
Ouran High School Host Club
Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt
Paprika
Penguindrum
Phantom – Requiem for the Phantom
Phi-Brain S1
Pokemon Movies – Four Pack
Psychic Detective Yakumo
Psycho-Pass
Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Queen’s Blade – Beautiful Warriors
Queen’s Blade Rebellion
Redline
Rideback
Rin – Daughters of Mnemosyne
Robotics;Notes
Royal Space Force – The Wings of Honneamise
Rurouni Kenshin – New Kyoto Arc
RWBY S1
RWBY S2
Sakura Wars the Movie
Samurai Champloo
Samurai Warriors – Legend of the Sanada
Sekirei S1
Sekirei S2
Sengoku Basara S1
Sengoku Basara S1+2
Sengoku Basara the Last Party
Senran Kagura – Ninja Flash
Serial Experiments Lain
Shakugan no Shana S – OVAs
Shakugan no Shana S1
Shakugan no Shana S2
Shakugan no Shana S3
Shakugan no Shana the Movie
Shigofumi
Shigurui: Death Frenzy
Shiki
Shining Hearts
Short Peace
So I Can’t Play H
Soul Eater
Space Brothers
Spice & Wolf S1
Spice & Wolf S2
Star Driver
Steins;Gate
Stella Women’s Academy
Strike Witches S1
Strike Witches S2
Summer Wars
Supernatural: The Anime Series
Sword Art Online
Sword of the Stranger
Taisho Baseball Girls
Tales of Vesperia
Tales of Zestiria: Dawn of the Shepherd
Tenchi Muyo! Movies
Tenchi Muyo! OVA Collection
Tenchi Muyo! the War on Gemini
The “Hentai” Prince and the Stony Cat
The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya
The Eccentric Family
The Familiar of Zero S1
The Garden of Words
The Legend of Heroes – Trails in the Sky
The Legend of the Legendary Heroes
The Pet Girl of Sakurasou
The Pilot’s Love Song
The Princess and the Pilot
The Severing Crime Edge
The Sky Crawlers
The Twelve Kingdoms
The World God Only Knows S1
The World God Only Knows S2
This Boy Can Fight Aliens
This Boy Caught a Merman
Time Bokan – Royal Revival
TO Film Collection: Elliptical Orbit/Symbiotic Planet
To Love Ru S2
To Love Ru S3
Toradora
Towano Quon
Trigun – Badlands Rumble
Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE OVAs
Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE S1
Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE S2
Tsubasa RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE the Movie // xxxHOLiC the Movie
Tsukimonogatari
Umineko – When They Cry
Unbreakable Machine-Doll
Un-Go
Upotte!!
Uta No Prince Sama 1000%
Uta No Prince Sama 2000%
Watamote
We Without Wings
Witchblade
Yamada’s First Time
Yu Yu Hakusho
Yu-Gi-Oh! Bonds Beyond Time
Yuki Yuna is a Hero
Yuru Yuri S1
Yuru Yuri S2
Yusibu – I Couldn’t Become a Hero, So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job
Yuyushiki
Zakuro

 

Anime DVDs:

Spoiler:

.hack//GU Trilogy
.hack//Roots
Air
Air Gear
Alien Nine
Amazing Nurse Nanako
And Yet the Town Moves
Angelic Layer
Animation Runner Kuromi
Appleseed
Aquarian Aqe
Aquarion
Arc the Lad
Arcade Gamer Fubuki
Argentosoma
Armitage Dual Matrix
Avenger
Ayane’s High Kick
Azumanga Daioh
Baccano!
Baldr Force Exe
Bamboo Blade
Banner of the Stars
Basilisk
Beck – Mongolian Chop Squad
Best Student Council
Betterman
Birdy the Mighty Decode
Birth
Black Cat
Black Heaven
Black Lagoon
Blade of the Phantom Master
Blassreiter
Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-chan
Blue Gender
Blue Seed
Bobobo-Bo Bo-Bobo
Boogiepop Phantom
Burst Angel
Chrono Crusade
Code Geass
Code Geass S2
Coicent – Five Numbers
Corrector Yui
Cosplay Complex
Cowboy Bebop – The Movie
Coyote Ragtime Show
Crest of the Stars
Cromartie High School
D.N. Angel
Dai-Guard
Darker Than Black
Death Note
Disgaea
Dojin Work
Dokkoida?!
Doomed Megalopolis
Dragon Ball GT
Dragon Ball GT – The Movie
Dragon Night
Dragonaut
Dual Masters
Dual! Parallel Trouble Adventure
Early Reins
Eden’s Bowy
El Cazador de la Bruja
Elfen Lied
Ergo Proxy
E’s Otherwise
Escaflowne
Escaflowne The Movie
Eureka Seven
Eureka Seven
Ex-Driver
Fantastic Children
Final Fantasy Unlimited
Flame of Recca
Fruits Basket
Full Metal Alchemist
Full Metal Alchemist – The Conqueror of Shambala
Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu
Gad Guard
Galaxy Angel S
Gankutsuo – The Count of Monte Crisot
Gantz
Gasaraki
Gate Keepers
Gate Keepers 21
Geisters
Getbackers
Ghost Hunt
Ghost Slayers Ayashi
Ghost Talker’s Daydream
Giant Robo
Gilgamesh
Gintama
Girls High
Glass Fleet
Golden Boy
Gravion
Gravion Zwei
Green Green
Grenadier
Guin Saga
Gun X Sword
Gundam 00 S1
Gundam 00 S2
Gundam Seed – The Movie 1
Gundam Seed – The Movie 2
Gundam Seed – The Movie 3
Gundam Seed Destiny
Gundam Seed Destiny – The Movie 1
Gunparade March
Gurren Lagann
Happy Lesson
Happy Lesson OVA
Heat Guy J
Hellsing
Hero Tales
His and Her Circumstances
Hyper Speed Grandoll
IGPX
Ikki Tousen
Infinite Ryvius
Inu-Yasha
Inu-Yasha – The Movie 1
Inu-Yasha – The Movie 2
Inu-Yasha – The Movie 3
Inu-Yasha – The Movie 4
Jing King of Bandits – Seventh Heaven
Jinki: Extend
Jubei-chan – The Ninja Girl
Kaleido Star S1
Kaleido Star S2
Kampfer
Kannagi
Kanokon
Kanon
Karas
Kaze no Stigma
Kaze no Yojimbo
Kekko Kamen
Kiba
Kiddy Grade
Kimikiss
King of Bandit Jing
Kino’s Journey
Kirameki Project
Kite
Kite Liberator
Koihime Muso
Kurau Phantom Memory
Kyo Kara Maou
La Corda d’Oro
Last Exile
Le Chevalier D’Eon
Le Portrait de Petite Cossette
Legend of the Mystical Ninja
Linebarrels of Iron
Linebarrels of Iron OVA
Love Hina
Lucky Star
Magical Witch Punie-chan
Mahoromatic
Maria + Holic
Maria + Holic Alive
Mars Daybreak
Martian Successor Nadesico
Martian Successor Nadesico – The Motion Picture
Maze
Memories
Mezzo
Michel
Midori Days
Moon Phase
Moribito
Motto To Love-Ru
Mouse
Murder Princess
My Santa
My-Hime
My-Z-Hime
My-Z-Hime-Zwei
Nabari no Ou
Nadia – The Secret of Blue Water
Najica Blitz Tactics
Negima!
Neo Ranga
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Neon Genesis Evangelion – Death and Rebirth
New Cutey Honey
Niea Under Seven
Night Shift Nurses
Nightwalker
Noien
Noir
Now and Then, Here and There
Nurse Witch Komugi
Nyankoi!
Oh! Edo Rocket
One Piece
Orphen S1
Orphen S2
Otoboku
Overman King Gainer
Paniponi Dash
Panty & Stocking With Garterbelt
Peacemaker
Phantom Quest Corp.
Phantom the Animation
Pokemon – The First Three Movies
Popotan
Pretear
Princess Nine
Princess Resurrection
Princess Tutu
Psychic Academy
Pumpkin Scissors
Puni Puni Poemy
Queen’s Blade S2
Ragnaraok – The Animation
RahXephon
RahXephon – The Motion Picture
Real Bout High School
Red Garden
Rescue Me Mave-chan
Rin – Daughters of Mnemosyne
Robotech
Rumbling Hearts
Rune Soldier
S.A – Special A
Saber Marionette J
Saber Marionette R
Sadamitsu the Destroyer
Saiyuki Requiem
Saiyuki S1+S2
Sakura Diaries
Sakura Taisen  – Ecole de Paris
Sakura Taisen  – Sumire
Sakura Wars  – Return of the Spirit Warriors
Sakura Wars – Wedding Bells
Sakura Wars (Ouka Kenran)
Sakura Wars IV
Sakura Wars the Movie
Samurai 7
Samurai 7
Samurai Champloo
Samurai Deeper Kyo
Samurai Gun
Samurai X
Sands of Destruction
Sasami – Magical Girls Club
School Rumble – Extra Class
School Rumble S1
School Rumble S2
Scrapped Princess
S-Cry-Ed
Sentimental Journey
Shadow Star Narutaru
Shakugan no Shana
Shangri-La
Shattered Angels
Shigofumi
Shin Koihime Muso
Shin Koihime Muso -Otome Tairan-
Shounen Onmyouji
Shrine of the Morning Mist
Shuffle!
Shura no Toki
Silent Mobius
Simoun
Sister Princess
Sol Bianca
Solty Rei
Someday’s Dreamers
Sorceror Hunters
Soul Hunter
Spectral Force
Speed Grapher
Spider Riders
Spiral
Spriggan
Star Driver
Steam Detectives
Steamboy
Strait Jacket
Strawberry Panic
Suzuka
Tears to Tiara
Tekkonkinkreet
Tenchi Muyo GXP
Texhnolyze
The Adventures of Mini-Goddess
The Animatrix
The Devil Lady
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya S1
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya S2
The Melody of Oblivion
The Slayers S1
The Slayers S2
The Soul Taker
The Tower of Druaga
The Twelve Kingdoms
This Ugly Yet Beautiful World
Those Who Hunt Elves
To Love-Ru
Tokko
Toward the Terra
Trinity Blood
Tristia – The Deep Blue Sea
Twin Signal
UFO Ultramaiden Valkyrie
Vandread
Venus Versus Virus
Vexille
Viewtiful Joe
Virus Buster Serge
Wild Arms
Wild Cardz
Witchblade
Words Worth
X-Men
xxxHolic
You’re Under Arrest S1
You’re Under Arrest S2
You’re Under Arrest! The Motion Picture
Yozakura Quartet
Yugo the Negotiator
Zaion -I Wish You Were Here-
ZOE – Zone of the Enders Dolores
ZOE – Zone of the Enders Idolo

 

Games:

Spoiler:

This list is inaccurate in the sense that I’m missing quite a few titles on it, but I’ll deal with that during the next re-org.

.hack//G.U. Vol. 1 – Rebirth
.hack//G.U. Vol. 2 – Reminisce
.hack//G.U. Vol. 3 – Redemption
.hack//Infection
.hack//Mutation
.hack//Outbreak
.hack//Quarantine
999 – Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors
Ace Attorney – Justice For All
Ace Attorney Investigations
Ace Combat – Assault Horizon
Ace Combat – Fires of Liberation
Ace Combat – Joint Assault
Adventure Time – Hey Ice King, Why’d You Steal Our Garbage?
Adventures to Go
Aedis Eclipse
Akai Katana
Alan Wake
Alice Madness Returns
Amnesia – Memories
Anarchy Reigns
Animal Crossing – New Leaf
Aquapazza
Ar Nosurge
Ar Nosurge Plus
Ar tonelico – Melody of Elemia
Ar tonelico II – Melody of Metafalica
Ar Tonelico Qoga
Arc Rise Fantasia
Arcana Heart
Arcana Heart 3
Asura’s Wrath
Atelier Annie – Alchemists of Sera Island
Atelier Ayesha
Atelier Iris 2 – The Azoth of Destiny
Atelier Iris 3 – Grand Phantasm
Atelier Meruru
Atelier Rorona
Atelier Shalie
Atelier Totori
Bakugan – Battle Trainer
Bakugan Battle Brawlers
Band Hero
Batman Arkham Asylum GOTY
Batman Arkham City GOTY
Bayonetta
Bayonetta 2
Best of Playstation Network Vol. 1
Beyond – Two Souls
Binary Domain
Black Rock Shooter
BlazBlue Calamity Trigger
Blazblue Continuum Shift Extend
Blazblue Continuum Shift II
BlazBlue Extend
Blazing Souls Accelate
Bloodborne
Blue Dragon
Brain Age 2
Bravely Default
Breath of Fire – Dragon Quarter
Brink
Brutal Legend
Bullet Witch
Bulletstorm
Caladrius
Castlevania
Castlevania – Lords of Shadow – Mirror of Fate
Catherine
Chaos Legion
Chaos Wars
Child of Eden
Clock Tower 3
Code of Princess
Codename STEAM
Conception II
Corpse Party – Blood Drive
Criminal Girls
Crimson Tears
Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII
Cross X Edge
Culdcept Saga
Cy Girls
Dance Dance Revolution – Supernova
Danganronpa 2 – Goodbye Despair
Danganronpa Another Episode – Ultra Despair Girls
Dark Cloud
Dark Cloud 2
Dead or Alive 4
Dead or Alive 5
Dead or Alive 5 Plus
Dead or Alive Dimensions
Dead or Alive Paradise
Dead or Alive Ultimate
Dead or Alive Xtreme 2
Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball
Dead Space 2
Deadly Premonition
Death by Degrees
Deathsmiles
Deception IV – Blood Ties
Demon Gaze
Dengeki Bunko – Fighting Climax
Destiny
Deus Ex Human Revolution
Devil Kings
Devil May Cry – HD Collection
Digimon – All-Star Rumble
Digimon World 4
Dirge of Cerberus – Final Fantasy VII
Disgaea – Afternoon of Darkness
Disgaea – Hour of Darkness
Disgaea 2 – Cursed Memories
Disgaea 2 – Dark Hero Days
Disgaea 3 – Absence of Detention
Disgaea 3 – Absence of Justice
Disgaea 4 – A Promise Revisited
Disgaea 4 – A Promise Unforgotten
Disgaea 5 – Alliance of Vengeance
Disgaea D2 – A Brighter Darkness
Disgaea Infinite
Dissidia Duodecim Final Fantasy
Dissidia Final Fantasy
Donkey Kong Jungle Beat
Dragon Ball Z – Battle of Z
Dragon Quest IV – Chapters of the Chosen
Dragon Quest IX – Sentinels of the Starry Skies
Dragon Quest Swords
Dragon Quest V – Hand of the Heavenly Bride
Dragon Quest VI – Realms of Revelation
Dragon Quest VIII – Journey of the Cursed King
Dragoneer’s Aria
Dragon’s Crown
Dragon’s Dogma
Drakengard 2
Drakengard 3
Dual Hearts
Dynasty Warriors 8 – Xtreme Legends
Dynasty Warriors Gundam 3
Dynasty Warriors Next
El Shaddai
Elite Beat Agents
Enchanted Arms
Ephemeral Fantasia
Eternal Poison
Eternal Sonata
Etrian Mystery Dungeon
Etrian Odyssey 2 Untold
Etrian Odyssey Untold – The Millennium Girl
Eureka Seven Vol. 1 – The New Wave
Eureka Seven Vol. 2 – The New Vision
Evergrace
Fairy Fencer F
Fate/Extra
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles – Echoes of Time
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles – The Crystal Bearers
Final Fantasy II
Final Fantasy IV
Final Fantasy IV – The Complete Collection
Final Fantasy Tactics – The War of the Lions
Final Fantasy Tactics Advance
Final Fantasy Type-0 HD
Final Fantasy X
Final Fantasy X/X-2 HD
Final Fantasy X-2
Final Fantasy XII
Final Fantasy XII – Revenant Wings
Final Fantasy XIII
Final Fantasy XIII-2
Final Fantasy XIV – A Realm Reborn
Fire Emblem Awakening
Fist of the North Star – Ken’s Rage
FlingSmash
Forever Kingdom
Fortune Street
Foto Showdown
Fragile Dreams
Freedom Wars
From the Abyss
Front Mission 4
Front Mission Evolved
Fullmetal Alchemist – and the Broken Angel
Fullmetal Alchemist 2 – Curse of the Crimson Elixir
Gabrielle’s Ghostly Dream
Gears of War
Generation of Chaos
Ghost in the Shell Stand Alone Complex
Ghost Trick – Phantom Detective
Glory of Heracles
Gods Eater Burst
Golden Sun Dark Dawn
Grandia II
Grandia III
Grandia Xtreme
Gravity Rush
GrimGrimoire
Growlanser – Heritage of War
Growlanser Generations
Guilty Gear 2 Overture
Guilty Gear Xrd – Sign
Guitar Hero
Guitar Hero 5
Guitar Hero II
Gungnir
Gungrave
Gungrave Overdose
Hakuoki – Demon of the Fleeting Blossom
Hakuoki – Stories of the Shinsengumi
Halo 3 ODST
htoL#NiQ
Hyperdevotion Noire – Goddess Black Heart
Hyperdimension Neptunia
Hyperdimension Neptunia Mk2
Hyperdimension Neptunia PP – Producing Perfection
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth 1
Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth 2 – Sisters Generation
Hyperdimension Neptunia U – Action Unleashed
Hyperdimension Neptunia V – Victory
Hyrule Warriors
IGPX – Immortal Grand Prix
Infamous – Second Son
Infinite Undiscovery
Innocent Life – A Futuristic Harvest Moon
Inuyasha – The Secret of the Cursed Mask
Izuna 2
Jade Cocoon 2
Jak and Daxter – The Precursor Legacy
Jak and Daxter Collection
Jeanne D’Arc
J-Stars Victory Vs.
Kid Icarus – Uprising
Killer is Dead
Kingdom Hearts
Kingdom Hearts 2
Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days
Kingdom Hearts 3D – Dream Drop Distance
Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep
Kingdom Hearts HD – 2.5 Remix
Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories
Kingdom Hearts Re:Coded
Kingdom Under Fire – Circle of Doom
Kirby – Triple Deluxe
Kirby Air Ride
Kirby and the Rainbow Curse
Kirby Mass Attack
Kirby Squeak Squad
Kirby’s Epic Yarn
Knights Contract
Knights in the Nightmare
La Pucelle Tactics
Legend of Legacy
Lego Indiana Jones/Kung-Fu Panda
Lego Rock Band
Lightning Returns – Final Fantasy XIII
Lips
Little Battlers eXperience
Lollipop Chainsaw
Lord of Arcana
Lost Dimension
Lost Odyssey
Luigi’s Mansion – Dark Moon
Luminous Arc
Luminous Arc 2
Lunar – Dragon Song
MadWorld
Magical Starsign
Magna Carta
Majin and the Forsaken Kingdom
Makai Kingdom
Mana Kehmia – Alchemists of Al-Revis
Mana Kehmia 2 – Fall of Alchemy
Mana Khemia – Student Alliance
Mario & Luigi – Bowser’s Inside Story
Mario & Luigi – Dream Team
Mario Kart 7
Mario Kart 8
Mario Kart Double Dash
Mario Sports Mix
Mario Super Sluggers
Master of the Monster Lair
Metal Gear Solid – HD Collection
Metal Gear Solid – Peace Walker
Metal Gear Solid 4 – Guns of the Patriots
Metal Saga
Metroid Other M
Mind=0
Mobile Suit Gundam – Gundam Vs. Zeta Gundam
Mobile Suit Gundam – Journey to Jaburo
Modnation Racers
Monster Hunter 3 Ultimate
Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate
Monster Hunter Tri
Mortal Kombat – Komplete Edition
Motorstorm Apocalypse
MS Saga – A New Dawn
Muramasa Rebirth
Muramasa the Demon Blade
N3 – Ninety Nine Nights – 2
N3 – Ninety-Nine Nights
Naruto – Clash of Ninja
Naruto – Clash of Ninja – Revolution
Naruto – Rise of a Ninja
Naruto – Ultimate Ninja Heroes
Naruto – Uzumaki Chronicles
Naruto Ninja Council 3
Naruto Shippuden – Naruto vs. Sasuke
Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm 2
Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm 3
Naruto Shippuden Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations
Naruto Ultimate Ninja
Natural Doctrine
NeverDead
Neverland Card Battles
New Super Mario Bros.
Ni no Kuni – Wrath of the White Witch
NIER
NintendoLand
No More Heroes – Heroes’ Paradise
Octomania
Odin Sphere
Omega Quintet
One Piece – Grand Battle
One Piece – Pirate Warriors 3
One Piece – Pirate’s Carnival
One Piece – Romance Dawn
One Piece – Unlimited World Red
Onechanbara ZII – Chaos
Onimusha 2 – Samurai’s Destiny
Ontamarama
Operation Abyss
Operation Darkness
Otomedius Excellent
Pandora’s Tower
Pangya – Fantasy Golf
Panzer Dragoon Orta
Paper Mario – Sticker Star
Phantasy Star Online Episode III C.A.R.D. Revolution
Phantasy Star Portable 2
Phantasy Star Universe
Phantom Brave
Phantom Brave – The Hermuda Triangle
Pilotwings Resort
Planet Puzzle League
Pokemon Alpha Sapphire
Pokemon Black
Pokemon Black Version 2
Pokemon Conquest
Pokemon Gold
Pokemon Heartgold
Pokemon Pearl
Pokemon Ranger – Guardian Signs
Pokemon Silver
Pokemon Super Mystery Dungeon
Pokemon White
Pokemon White Version 2
Pokemon X
Pokemon Y
PokePark Wii – Pikachu’s Adventure
Pop’n’Music
PoPoLoCrois
Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box
Professor Layton and the Miracle Mask
Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney
Project Diva F
Project Diva F2
Project Sylpheed
Project X-Zone
Puzzle x Dragons Z
Radiant Historia
Ragnarok DS
Ragnarok Odyssey Ace
Rare Replay
Record of Agarest War
Record of Agarest War 2
Record of Agarest War Zero
Red Faction Armageddon
Red Ninja – End of Honor
Remember Me
Resident Evil 4 Wii Edition
Resident Evil 5
Resident Evil 6
Resident Evil Operation Racoon City
Resident Evil Revelations
Resonance of Fate
Retro Game Challenge
Rhythm Heaven
Rhythm Heaven Fever
Ring of Red
Riviera – The Promised Land
Rock Band
Rock Band 2
Rock Band 3
Rock Band 4
Rockin’ Pretty
Rodea the Sky Soldier
Rogue Galaxy
Rumble Roses XX
Rune Factory – Tides of Destiny
Sakura Wars – So Long My Love
Samurai Champloo Sidetracked
Samurai Legend Musashi
Samurai Warriors – Chronicles
Samurai Warriors 4
Samurai Warriors 4-II
Sands of Destruction
SD Gundam Force Showdown
Sega Superstars Tennis
Sengoku Basara – Samurai Heroes
Senran Kagura – Shinovi Versus
Seven Samurai 20XX
Shadow of Destiny
Shadows of the Damned
Shaman King – Power of Spirit
Shin Megami Tensei Devil Summoner – Raidou Kuzunoha vs. King Abaddon
Shin Megami Tensei Devil Summoner – Soul Hackers
Shin Megami Tensei Devil Survivor
Shin Megami Tensei Devil Survivor – Overclocked
Shin Megami Tensei Devil Survivor 2
Shin Megami Tensei Devil Survivor 2 – Record Breaker
Shin Megami Tensei Digital Devil Saga I
Shin Megami Tensei Digital Devil Saga II
Shin Megami Tensei IV
Shin Megami Tensei Nocturne
Shin Megami Tensei Persona
Shin Megami Tensei Persona 2 – Innocent Sin
Shin Megami Tensei Persona 3
Shin Megami Tensei Persona 3 FES
Shin Megami Tensei Persona 3 Portable
Shin Megami Tensei Persona 4
Shin Megami Tensei Persona 4 – Dancing All Night
Shin Megami Tensei Persona 4 Arena
Shin Megami Tensei Persona 4 Arena – Ultimax
Shin Megami Tensei Persona 4 Golden
Shin Megami Tensei Persona Q
Shin Megami Tensei Strange Journey
Shining Force EXA
Shining Force Neo
Shining Tears
Sin & Punishment – Star Successor
Skies of Arcadia – Legends
Sly Cooper – Thieves in Time
SNK Card Fighters
Solatorobo – Red Hunter
Sonic and the Black Knight
Sonic Boom – Rise of Lyric
Sonic Colors
Sonic Heroes
Sonic Lost World
Sonic Riders – Zero Gravity
Sonic Unleashed
Soul Calibur II
Soul Calibur IV
Soul Calibur V
Soul Nomad & the World Eaters
Spectral Force 3
Spectral Force Genesis
Spectral Souls
Spectrobes – Origins
Splatoon
Star Ocean – First Departure
Star Ocean – Second Evolution
Star Ocean – Till the End of Time
Star Ocean the Last Hope – International
Star Wars – The Force Unleashed 2
Starhawk
Steambot Chronicles
Steins;Gate
Stella Deus – The Gate of Eternity
Stolen
Stretch Panic
Suikoden III
Suikoden IV
Suikoden Tactics
Suikoden V
Summon Night – Twin Age
Sunset Overdrive
Super Mario – The Thousand Year Door
Super Mario 3D World
Super Mario All-Stars
Super Mario Bros. Wii
Super Mario Galaxy
Super Mario Galaxy 2
Super Mario Maker
Super Robot Taisen OG Saga – Endless Frontier
Super Smash Bros. 4 3DS
Super Smash Bros. 4 WiiU
Super Street Fighter IV
Super Street Fighter IV – Arcade Edition
Tactics Ogre – Let Us Cling Together
Tales of Graces F
Tales of Hearts R
Tales of Legendia
Tales of Phantasia
Tales of Symphonia
Tales of Symphonia – Dawn of the New World
Tales of Symphonia Chronicles
Tales of the Abyss
Tales of Vesperia
Tales of Xillia
Tales of Xillia 2
Tales of Zestiria
Tears to Tiara II
Tekken 6
The 3rd Birthday – Parasite Eve
The Awakened Fate Ultimatum
The Bouncer
The Guided Fate Paradox
The House of the Dead Overkill
The Ico and Shadow of the Colossus Collection
The Last of Us
The Last Remnant
The Last Story
The Legend of Heroes I
The Legend of Heroes II
The Legend of Heroes III
The Legend of Heroes Trails in the Sky
The Legend of Korra – A New Era Begins
The Legend of Legacy
The Legend of Starfy
The Legend of Zelda – A Link Between Worlds
The Legend of Zelda – Phantom Hour Glass
The Legend of Zelda – Skyward Sword
The Legend of Zelda – Spirit Tracks
The Legend of Zelda – The Wind Waker
The Mark of Kri
The Nightmare of Druaga – Fushigino Dungeon
The Sly Collection
The Witch and the Hundred Knights
The Wonderful 101
The World Ends With You
Theatrhythm – Final Fantasy
Time and Eternity
Tokobots Plus
Tokyo Twilight Ghost Hunters
Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell Conviction
Trace Memory
Trapt
Trauma Center New Blood
Trauma Center Second Opinion
Trauma Center Under the Knife 2
Trauma Team
Twisted Metal Black
Ty the Tasmanian Tiger
Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3
Valhalla Knights
Valkyria Chronicles
Valkyria Chronicles II
Valkyrie Profile – Covenant of the Plume
Valkyrie Profile 2 – Silmeria
Virtua Fighter 4 Evolution
Virtue’s Last Reward
Warhammer Space Marine
Warriors Orochi 3 Ultimate
Wii Fit Plus
Wii Party
Wii Sports Resort
Wild Arms 3
Wild Arms 4
Wild Arms 5
Wild Arms XF
Windy x Windam
Xcom – Enemy Unknown
Xenoblade Chronicles X
Xenosaga
Xenosaga II
Xenosaga III
Yaiba Ninja Gaiden Z
Yakuza 3
Yakuza 4
Yakuza Dead Souls
Yggdra Union
Yo-kai Watch
Yoshi’s Wooly World
Ys – The Oath in Felghana
Ys Seven
Yu-Gi-Oh! The Duelists of the Roses
Zoids Assault
ZombiU
Zone of the Enders
Zone of the Enders HD Collection

 

Figs:

Spoiler:

 

Marriage proposals can go in the comments. But you’d damn well better bet I’ll be getting a pre-nup. <3


An In-Depth Analysis of a Modern Anime

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Time to give some modern anime the treatment it deserves.

Anime as an art form is a concept that many people have heard about, but not many have actually thought about. Sure, you could watch anime for the cute girls, for the voice actors, for the plot, for the plot, for the visuals… There’s a whole bunch of reasons why people watch anime as enjoyment for the brain, eyes, ears, etc. But anime can be so much more than that, given the right lens. Instead of looking at anime as entertainment, looking at it as a medium to be analyzed through the lens of academics and via critical analysis can open new outlooks on both the specific anime under analysis, and anime as a medium.

This type of criticism has a lot of basis in the academic world, which should come as no surprise, considering this type of analysis is common-place in higher-level English courses. Most modern literary criticism takes a poststructuralist approach to deriving meaning, and this is easily applicable to anime. It’s not about what the director, the studio, the voice actress meant; rather, it’s about us, the viewers, the culture, even the medium and media itself. Culture in this case obviously being anime culture, which I think is best described via Benedict Anderson’s Imagined Communities. Go give that a read if you haven’t already. It’s about nationalism, but nationalism, anime… Same thing, really.

Critical analysis of anime isn’t a novel idea, and in fact, many people are proponents of the idea. Take this post from a blog called “Fantastic Memes”, or this AnimeSuki thread pouring mostly positive support behind anime critical analysis.

Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be much in the way of actual critical content; there’s been groups like Anime and Manga Research Circle that are now mostly defunct and a number of papers that analyze anime as a culture/medium, but don’t go into individual series, let alone modern series. You think people care about Ghost in the Shell anymore, Sobieszek? Miyazaki movies are sooooooo 2006, Cavallaro.

Well, today’s the day to change that.

My name’s puddi, and I’m going to be setting a new standard of critical analysis by using poststructuralist techniques on one of the newest anime as of this time of writing. Who says academics are stuck in the past?

Ready? Let’s go. We’re going to be looking to episode 1 of Kochinpa!, which you can watch on YouTube here.

mpv-shot0004

The first frame of this anime is already packed full of information, setting the tone for all future seconds of the show. There’s a lot going on in this one frame, so let’s digest it bit by bit. In the forefront of the frame, we’ve got what looks to be two vehicles, a bus and a car, starting from the left and driving to the right. Both have a slight blurred effect on them, resulting focus being drawn away from them and to the main characters placed in the center of the screen. This also helps give the illusion of depth to the viewer (in tandem with the 3D models), as well as draws attention to where the focus actually is; on the main characters. But more on that in a bit.

In fact, this entire scene draws a lot of its style and makeup to the actual physical location of the Pachinko Slot Island that this series is based on. I’ve included a screenshot of the Google Street View of the location, and you’ll notice a lot of similarities. The poster on the right of Aira is the same, the monitor on the right is the same, the sign is the same, the style of railing is the same, the board with the “いつでもそばにいるよ” text is the same (albeit slightly hidden…). Even the sign of the neighboring store is accurate. That’s dedication to ensuring physical similarities, and we can be sure that the rest of the series is going for full 1:1 realism. This is a key takeaway here.

Screenshot 2016-01-07 01:34:29

Which brings us to the characters. They’re cute and chibi, and they all have unique coloring schemas, to help the viewer separate the three of them. However, that’s not the real kicker here. Since they’re included in this movie, by the premise we drew from the realism of the scenery, we can make the logical leap and conclude that these characters must be real; or at least, have some basis in reality. Everything else has that basis. So must these characters.

mpv-shot0003

The scene proceeds and we’re given a nice logo. This logo is visually clashing with itself, with the seven different colors used and the multiple languages, but that’s all very intentional, because it needs to grab your attention. With a full 40 frames of screentime and a VFX of the logo popping out of a green balloon and shaking side to side, it’s going to grab your attention. This shows that the utmost care was put into this logo, and it’s one of the major drawing points from here. It also can be inferred that because of the amount of effort put into making the viewer be aware of the logo, anime viewers are part of a viewing culture that doesn’t normally care about the work that goes into making a show, and rather the show’s characters, voice actors and actresses, etc. This point will be reinforced later on, but is also evident from the fact that the staff of the show are listed here in the opening scene (near the bottom), instead of by themselves during an opening or ending sequence where there’s literally nothing else going on except a song and some visuals that an intern spent time on, where they might actually get some recognition.

It’s hard to show you this over a post like this, but while the logo is showing a character in the background faintly says “Episode 1!”. This is a novel technique that I don’t think has been used anywhere else. Just goes to show that even now, anime creators are finding ways to break new ground and compressing multitudes of information into a small, consumable package.

mpv-shot0005

The next big scene focuses solely on the three characters that we saw in the previous scene. While the models are as they are described above, there’s something more important that I want to draw attention to; the inclusion of hard-coded subtitles. This is something we don’t see very often in anime nowadays; most subtitles, if they exist, are broadcast over the air and are able to be toggled on and off. The only records I’ve found of hard-coded subtitles belong to children’s shows, where the point of the subtitles is to help with both hearing and reading comprehension for those kids who need it. The inclusion of these subtitles is not by chance. The exist solely for the sake of the viewer, because anime viewers need additional help in hearing and reading comprehension, and most likely have the brain of a five-month-old baby.

In fact, if we assume that anime viewers are as stupid as this anime would suggest, then a whole lot of other tropes being used here make sense. The dynamic hair and costume colors seek to separate each character from the other because viewers aren’t smart enough to draw other separations based on their style of speech, character, or any other non-apparent factors.

mpv-shot0006

Within this scene, the camera shifts to the left and to the right, and we get to see another tactic in use here: subliminal messaging. By relying on the stupidity of its audience, we see a lot of things that normally feel out of place, but wouldn’t even be noticed by the average dumb anime viewer. Those posters on the left? That’s not just any old manga. Those are pages from the official Pachinko Slot Island web comic, called 3LDK -LOVELY DEVILS KINGDOM. Take a look of the page closest to the camera, and compare that with this screenshot from the official website, http://aira.moe/:

Screenshot 2016-01-07 01:59:48

That’s the same thing. It’s subliminal messaging to get you to buy more of their product. Their real product, which you can physically buy. Remember when I said how everything in this show was based in reality? I meant it.

Oh yeah, and the text at the bottom, too. “Pachinko And Slot Akiba Island”. The link at the top? Links to their website.

Quod. Erat. Demonstrandum.

I could go on about the characters and how they are also appeals to the idiocity of the expected audience and the relative lack of intelligence in anime culture as a whole, but that’d be just beating a dead horse (let’s just say that it’s no coincidence that they’re showing the character names and CV with the same effect that they used for the logo.) Let’s cut to the conclusion.

Kochinpa! makes strong statements about anime culture, even though it masquerades as a funny, childish show that wants to advertise some pachinko parlor. It calls anime viewers dumb and ignorant about the staff of a show. And at the same time, it takes advantage of this fact in so many different ways, with the primary purpose of getting people more aware of the company and characters, and incentivizing you to buy more of their products and goods.

But we, the anime viewers… We’re smarter than that. We can still make things right. We can redeem the trainwreck that is the perception of anime culture.

And it starts with us.


This article was brought to you by Pachinko Slot Island. Check out the website at http://www.akiba-island.com/. You can find more information about the characters at http://aira.moe/, and find Aira, 3LDK, and Kochinpa! themed goods at http://aira.moe/goods/.

Winter 2016 Preview – Part 2: Slow Down, Japan. I Haven’t Even Finished Last Season Yet.

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Yeah, the shows have aired now, and I could just watch them instead of semi-blindly guessing as to their quality… but where’s the fun in that?

 

Cheat Sheet

somewhatever

 

 

 

The Series

Prince of Stride: Alternative

Stride

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Madhouse

“Like Free, but worse” seems like a winning formula, but without specifying the degree of how much worse it actually will be, this could be a disaster. Luckily, I have a solution:

Not watching it!

Not watching it!

Schrodinger’s anime, baby. No matter what happens, I’ll be right.

Speaking of babies, can you imagine the beautiful birth defects these two would breed? Goddamn.

Speaking of babies, can you imagine the beautiful birth defects these two would beget? I feel I’ve talked about this before, but goddamn, that’s a dynasty in the making.

 

 

Musaigen no Phantom World (Myriad Colors Phantom World)

Musaigen

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Kyoto Animation

All I see on my internets is bitching about how this show has the ever-dreaded fanservice, like the existence of female sexuality is a personal affront to these pseudotaku’s ISIS-tier morals. Christ, am I glad Japan cares as much about whiny western cuntfucks as I do.

Tits : Liberals :: Garlic : Vampires

Tits : Liberals :: Garlic : Vampires

So anyway, I’m giving it a 10/10 cuz it’s KyoAni and fuck the Christian Left.

 

 

HaruChika: Haruta to Chika wa Seishun Suru (Haruta & Chika)

HaruChika

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: P.A. Works

I couldn’t find anything about this show without actually watching it (fuck that) or the PV (fuck that as well), so I just decided to read Haruta Nikki and extrapolate accordingly. Unfortunately, Haruta Nikki (Cactus’s Secret) isn’t online, and while I do own the fucking thing, it’s a bit hard to screencap things when they’re not on a screen. So… that’s why I’m going to read (the first part of) Cactus and Radio instead.

Conflict: some cute girl wants a boyfriend.

Catcus and Radio - Deito

Resolution: some cute girl gets a boyfriend.

Fuck your happiness

I had to go back to sixth-grade writing studies to find an analysis tool dumb enough to handle what I just read. And this is what I have arbitrarily decided HaruChika is tangentially about? No deal, Japan.

 

 

Koukaku no Pandora (Pandora in the Crimson Shell)

Koukaku no Pandora

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: AXsiZ | Studio Gokumi

The manga is awful, but the cat girl is cute, so– Wait, what’s that? I can’t find the motivation to continue the previews when most of the season has aired anyway? Well then I should have thought of that before I didn’t finish them last month. Haha, got me there, didn’t I?

Whatever, guess I’ve gotta cut my losses on something again and start up my posts for another season that I will realistically never get close to finishing. So let’s continue the cycle and hope that Gurren Lagann was right about spirals all along.

Referencing a show that barely pushes 8/10 is clearly a good sign, right?

Referencing a show that barely hit 8/10 is clearly a good sign, right?

Song Translation Review: [Kanannon] – Perfect Liar

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I might have stumbled upon someone competent.

About the song

Perfect Liar is a 2009 song by Mentai Rocker that I can say almost nothing about because I don’t know very much about it. It’s about a woman who sort of takes advantage (I guess) of men by pretending to be an innocent pure maiden or something.

 

About the uploader

Kanannon’s channel has a swath of translated Vocaloid videos, many of which appear to be very popular. They appear to have last been active in 2012.

 

Title

“Perfect Liar” is a perfectly good translation of “Perfect Liar”.

 

Prettiness

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_01.02_[2016.01.09_00.00.34]

It’s not the nicest color, nor the nicest font, but it’s legible. The timing also feels a little late in a few places, but whatever.

 

Lyrics

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_00.30_[2016.01.09_16.49.42]

I appreciate how this line (罪に惹かれる本能) was rendered as a complete sentence and not just a noun phrase like “the instinct to be attracted by sin”, like a lot of people would be tempted to write.

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_00.42_[2016.01.10_02.46.45]

“Clumsy skills” isn’t the eloquentest way to say it, but overall this is a pretty solid execution of a suggestive line that keeps the suggestion level of the original, which isn’t that easy a thing to do.

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_00.49_[2016.01.10_02.50.56]

Flower honey is called nectar, honey.

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_00.52_[2016.01.10_02.52.09]

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_00.54_[2016.01.10_02.52.16]

I’m pretty sure these two are part of the same thought, as in “don’t dig your nails into me and mark me as your own”.

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_01.02_[2016.01.10_02.58.14]

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_01.05_[2016.01.10_02.58.23]

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_01.08_[2016.01.10_03.01.12]

These lines are fine, and I wouldn’t normally comment on them, but they’re the start of the refrain, so I guess they’re supposed to be important or something?

  • I’m not too big a fan of using “the number of…” here even if it’s 数 in Japanese. Maybe something like “all the lies I piled up…” etc.
  • “Grinded” is a good choice of verb.
  • One could certainly consider connecting these lines seamlesslier, like “Between all the lies I piled up // and all the skins I’ve grinded against // you could sometimes see”.

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_01.32_[2016.01.10_03.23.35]

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_01.37_[2016.01.10_03.24.21]

I’m not sure “boring thought” really gets the point across, and the whole line definitely feels stock translation-y. I’d prefer something like “Look at you parading your expensive black car around // do you really think that’ll impress me?”

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_01.44_[2016.01.10_03.54.59]

This could’ve been linked to the previous line (the one with the car) better. “How about you take me for a ride tonight instead?”

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_01.50_[2016.01.10_03.31.02]

I personally think the English language would be slightly nicer if “say” could be used like this, but alas, it cannot.

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_01.53_[2016.01.10_03.33.08]

Bare your fangs?

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_01.55_[2016.01.10_03.33.26]

Is this a thing people say?

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_02.07_[2016.01.10_03.34.53]

This line is really nice. Much better than “the me you desire” like you’d find in other places.

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_03.32_[2016.01.10_03.41.11]

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_03.38_[2016.01.10_03.41.33]

【Megurine Luka】 Perfect Liar ~English Subbed~ 【Original Song PV】-uHubRwZ-hZw.mp4_snapshot_03.41_[2016.01.10_03.41.41]

I think the 切れ味 (“cutting ability”) in the first line is supposed to be part metaphorical (the word can also mean “sharpness of wit”). It follows naturally from her earlier complaints about her dates’ lack of humor/skill/etc.—she’s looking for a man whose deft tongue can weave its way inside her facade or something.

Also, burn it *into* your heart.

 

Results

There were a good number of lines that I didn’t mention—for the most part, they were very good. Kanannon managed not to kill the spirit of the song and create a more or less coherent set of English lines in the process. By the standards of YouTube Vocaloid translators I’ve seen, this practically makes them the Michael Jordan of YouTube Vocaloid translators. There are a bunch of awkward word choices, but they come in unimportant places, and the clever wording of the lewder lines more than makes up for it. Similarly, the occasional meaning-related flubs were minor and the preservation of nuance in most cases outweighed the negative impact those made. There are definite spots for improvement, but on the whole, this was certainly competently done.

  • Heart: –
  • Faith: B-
  • Craft: B
  • Sheen: C
  • Overall: B-

Translation Party: [Commie vs Doki-Chihiro vs Funimation vs Mori] Dagashi Kashi (Episode 01)

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Slept through my alarm last night so I had to get this out today instead. Close enough, right?

Translation Party House Rules:

Spoiler:
1. Translation Parties are intended to help you make the best subtitle choice for a given anime. Choose which line(s) you liked best by selecting them with the checkbox.

2. I split the Party into two parts — Essential and Extended. Assuming you want to get this shit over with quickly, just go with the Essential choices. I picked these to be the most representative lines in the releases. But if you’re one of those people who want more comparisons to help you come to a decision, go with the Essential choices and the Extended ones.

3. If you didn’t like any of the lines, choose the “N/A” option. The results for “N/A” won’t be automatically tabulated, so you’ll have to do the math in your head. Have my gomens and nasais.

4. A “>” indicates that another character has begun speaking. If there are three characters in a line comparison, I will indicate the third with a “>>” and so on for more characters.

5. Group order is randomized for each screenshot, every time you refresh the page. However, the “N/A” option will always appear at the bottom of the screen.

6. Your results will be summed up when you click the “Get your results” button. Feel free to vote in the poll at the end/post in the comments to let others know how you did and to compare your results with them.

7. Party hard.

 

 

Dagashi Kashi – Episode 01

Comparisons: 9 or 14

Participants:

  • Commie
  • Doki-Chihiro
  • Funimation
  • Mori

6-group TL Parties get a bit unwieldy, so I cut it off at 4. ADZ’s dialogue is heavily based off Funi (boring for comparisons), and konosweets seems like a one-off anonymous release group, so fuck ’em too.

 

Codes:

{\i1} indicates the start of italics

{\i0} indicates the close of italics

 

 

Essential 1.

Coconuts’s pal, Tou, calls him up to try and entice him into hanging out over summer break.

Audio:

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Essentials_01

Commie :: Hey, having fun drawing comics? JK, I know you’ve got writer’s block.

Doki-Chihiro :: Yo, hanging in there with that manga of yours?
I bet you’re drawing a blank.

Funimation :: Hey, how’s it going? Having fun drawing manga?
I bet you’re hitting a brick wall, right?

Mori :: Hey, you drawing that manga of yours?
You’re almost done, right?

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 2.

Overwrought exposition informs us that Coconuts-kun’s dad wants him to run their sweet shop/dagashi kashi/candy shop/candy store/whatever the fuck. (Funimation completely blew this line but I’ll get into that when I review their episode 2.)

Audio: 

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Essentials_02

Commie :: That’s not your decision!
I want to be a comic artist!
And stop trying to be cool, calling me your “heir”.
You own a simple candy shop!

Doki-Chihiro :: Don’t go deciding that on your own!
I’m going to be a manga artist!
You make succeding the family business sound so cool,
but all we do is run a sweet shop!

Funimation :: My future isn’t for you to decide! I’m gonna be a manga artist!
And you’re making it sound cool by using the word “successor,”
but our shop is just a small shop that sells {\i1}dagashi{\i0} snacks!

Mori :: You don’t get to decide that for me!
I’m going to become a mangaka!
You’re saying all this cool stuff about me being the heir, but we’re…
…just a candy shop!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 3.

You know, like those Scooby Doo or Super Mario fruit snacks, or that awesome sauce Pokemon mac ‘n cheese, or… Okay, you probably didn’t need an explanation for this one, but I couldn’t stop my nostalgia.

Audio:

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Essentials_03

Commie :: And you should stock character goods from a popular show.
They’re expensive, but they’ll sell.

Doki-Chihiro :: Also, try to get some popular character-themed sweets.
They’re more expensive, but they sell more.

Funimation :: And you should sell {\i1}dagashi{\i0} with popular characters, too.
They’re more expensive, but they sell well.

Mori :: And you should consider stocking some of the popular character candy.
They’re a bit pricey, but they sell!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 4.

Hotaru has posed a challenge to Coconuts to find a combination of Umaibo flavors that’d satisfy her presumably yeasty vagina. (I still would, ofc.)

Audio: 

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Essentials_04

Commie :: Okay, uh…
Cheese and octopus fritters to make cheese octopus fritters?
>Not bad, but lacking impact.

Doki-Chihiro :: Hm, well…
How about cheese and takoyaki, to make Cheese Takoyaki?
>Not bad, but it doesn’t have enough punch to it.

Funimation :: Well then, how about…
…combining cheese and octopus dumpling flavors
to make “cheese-octopus dumpling” flavor?
>It’s not bad, but it lacks punch.

Mori :: Let’s see…
How about combining the cheese and takoyaki flavours?
>Not bad, but it lacks a punch.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 5.

There’s a lengthier joke around this, but this part of it’s pretty self-contained.

Audio:

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Essentials_05

Commie :: I’d feel so much better if you were dating her.
>Wh-What are you talking about?
>Off his rocker, isn’t he?

Doki-Chihiro :: If you two were dating, I’d be able to spend my retirement in peace.
>S-Stop joking around, Dad.
>Right, Shidare-san?

Funimation :: If you were going out with Kokonotsu, our family business would be secured.
>Wh-What’re you saying, Dad?
>Right, Miss Shidare?

Mori :: If you were dating Kokonotsu, our future would’ve been secured.
>Wh-What are you talking about, Dad?
>Right, Shidare-san?

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 6.

Tou stirring the pot like he’s waiting for Hansel and Gretel.

Audio:

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Essentials_06

Commie :: You got the hots for her or something?
>What are you talking about? I mean, she’s really weird, so…

Doki-Chihiro :: Could it be that… you’re interested in her?
>Interested…? Well, she’s a really strange person, so…

Funimation :: Could it be that you’re quite curious about her?
>It’s not that I’m curious, so much as that she’s very strange.

Mori :: Could it be that you’re into her?
>Into her? Well, she’s a really odd person, so…

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 7.

Saya likes Coco, Coco doesn’t know… So for the sake of the plot, don’t tell Coco cuz Coco doesn’t know.

Audio:

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Essentials_07

Commie :: Yeah, sure, Coconuts is denser than a coconut and shit.
But you? You’re a bigger frickin’ dumbass than he is!

Doki-Chihiro :: It’s to be expected that {\i1}Coconut{\i0} hasn’t noticed,
but you’re a super ultra moron in your own right!

Funimation :: Coconuts is so thick-headed for not noticing it,
but you’re super, ultra stupid, too.

Mori :: Well, Coconuts sure is a coconut for not realising it,
but you’re also one hell of a super ultra idiot!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 8.

By the way, whatever you’ve been told about sugar giving you energy is complete bullshit. There’s a reason why fat kids aren’t track stars.

Audio:

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Essentials_08

Commie :: Some sugar healing for my brain after all that thinking.

Doki-Chihiro :: My brain is burnt out from today, so I’m replenishing my sugar levels!

Funimation :: They can replenish sugar when your brain is overworked!

Mori :: A replenishment of sugar for an overworked brain!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Essential 9.

Dragon Quest III was even worse than Force Awakens. Fight me.

Audio:

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Essentials_09

Commie :: The noble monkey king has instructed me to search this land for the Legend that slumbers within.

Doki-Chihiro :: Under the orders of a noble lord, I’ve come to this land in search of the legend who lives here.

Funimation :: Under the orders of someone high-ranking,
I came to search for a legend that dwells in this land.

Mori :: At the behest of a certain noble,
I have come here in search of a living legend.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

 

Decision Point:

  1. Yakui-Lite got me hankering for another injection of diabetes! (I like the way you think. Read on~)
  2. Wait, what’s a Yakui? (Yeah, uhh… just skip down to get your results.)

 

Spoiler:

Expanded 1.

An untelevised revelation.

Audio:

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Expanded_01

Commie :: That’s right, the famous snack company, Shidare Co.!
I cannot hide it! My father is the owner!
And one day, I’ll turn it into the world’s top snack manufacturer!
>That’s our TV, isn’t it?

Doki-Chihiro :: That’s right.
As you know, it’s the name of the sweets manufacturer, Shidare Company!
It’s my father’s company, to be frank with you.
And someday, I, Shidare Hotaru, will open the world’s finest sweets manufacturer–!
>That’s our TV, right?

Funimation :: That’s right. Shidare Company, the famous snack manufacturer!
As a matter of fact, it’s my father’s company!
And some day, I, Hotaru Shidare,
will make it the world’s number-one snack manufactu– Oops.
>That’s our TV, right?

Mori :: That’s right! The candy manufacturer I’m sure you’re familiar with, the Shidare company!
I’ll come right out, it’s my father’s company!
And I, Shidare Hotaru, will turn the company into the world’s top candy manufacturer…!
>That’s {\i1}our{\i0} TV, isn’t it?

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 2.

A high-stakes challenge.

Audio:

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Expanded_02

Commie :: So I wanna see what combos you can think of.
In other words, I want you to create amazing combos and try to satisfy me!
>She’s acting like the last boss in some game.

Doki-Chihiro :: And so, I want to know what kind of combinations you can think of.
In other words, satisfy me with the best combination you can think of.
>She sounds like the final boss in a video game.

Funimation :: So I wanna hear the combinations you can come up with.
>Oh…
In other words, come up with the best combination and make me satisfied!
>Boy, she’s talking like the final boss in a video game.

Mori :: I’d like to see what combinations you can come up with.
>Right…
Now, come at me with the ultimate combination and satisfy me!
>Sounds like a line the final boss in a game would say.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 3.

An unfortunate attraction.

Audio:

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Expanded_03

Commie :: I…
I’m in love with…
>H-Hotaru?
Yes, I’m in love…
…with Pochi!
He’s totally my type!
>>Oh my, you cougar!
>>What a surprise!
Isn’t he just adorbs?
With that sailor uniform and tongue sticking out!

Doki-Chihiro :: The one I’ve fallen for…
>H-Hotaru-san?
That’s right.
It’s Pocchi-kun.
He’s just my type of guy!
>>Eh? Him?
>>I never would have guessed!
Isn’t he just too cute?!
His smile! And the way he sticks his tongue out!

Funimation :: The one… I’m in love with is…
>H-Hotaru?
That’s right. Pocchi is my type… big time.
>>What? That’s your type? I didn’t expect that.
His sailor suit and the way he sticks his tongue out are super cute, right?!

Mori :: The person…
The person I like, is…
>H-Hotaru-san?
That’s right, I think that…
…Pocchi-kun is just {\i1}so{\i0} my type!
>>No way! You’re on {\i1}that{\i0} team?
>>How unexpected!
But he’s so cute!
With that sailor outfit, and his poses!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 4.

A total rejection.

Audio:

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Expanded_04

Commie :: I was raised in this candy shop.
It is my life.
So until Kokonotsu accepts his role as the ninth owner…
I… I…
>I told you I wasn’t about that life.

Doki-Chihiro :: I was raised here, at the Shikada Sweet Shop.
This shop is my life.
Until Kokonotsu takes over as the ninth family head,
I… I…
>I told you: I’m not taking over.

Funimation :: I grew up here at Shikada Dagashi.
This shop is my life itself.
Until Kokonotsu becomes its ninth owner, I can’t… I can’t…
>I did tell you I’m not doing that, right?

Mori :: I was raised here in this Shikada Candy Shop.
This shop is my life.
And with Kokonotsu succeeding as the ninth generation head,
I… I…!
>Didn’t I say I wasn’t going to?

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 5.

An astute observation.

Audio:

Dagashi_Kashi_Translation_Party_Expanded_05

Commie :: Not every day someone comes out here all the way from the city.
>No kidding.

Doki-Chihiro :: That’s pretty rare. People don’t usually bother to come out here.
>That’s for sure.

Funimation :: It’s rare to see… an outsider visiting this remote town, isn’t it?
>Yep, yep.

Mori :: That’s pretty unusual.
For someone to come all the way out to this little town.
>Sure is.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

 

 

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

 

Which group had which line (unformatted, lazy-mode Sage):

Spoiler:

Essential 1.

Coconuts’s pal, Tou, calls him up to try and entice him into hanging out over summer break.

Commie :: Hey, having fun drawing comics? JK, I know you’ve got writer’s block.

Doki-Chihiro :: Yo, hanging in there with that manga of yours?
I bet you’re drawing a blank.

Funimation :: Hey, how’s it going? Having fun drawing manga?
I bet you’re hitting a brick wall, right?

Mori :: Hey, you drawing that manga of yours?
You’re almost done, right?

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

Essential 2.

Overwrought exposition informs us that Coconuts-kun’s dad wants him to run their sweet shop/dagashi kashi/candy shop/candy store/whatever the fuck. (Funimation completely blew this line but I’ll get into that when I review their episode 2.)

Commie :: That’s not your decision!
I want to be a comic artist!
And stop trying to be cool, calling me your “heir”.
You own a simple candy shop!

Doki-Chihiro :: Don’t go deciding that on your own!
I’m going to be a manga artist!
You make succeding the family business sound so cool,
but all we do is run a sweet shop!

Funimation :: My future isn’t for you to decide! I’m gonna be a manga artist!
And you’re making it sound cool by using the word “successor,”
but our shop is just a small shop that sells {\i1}dagashi{\i0} snacks!

Mori :: You don’t get to decide that for me!
I’m going to become a mangaka!
You’re saying all this cool stuff about me being the heir, but we’re…
…just a candy shop!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

Essential 3.

You know, like those Scooby Doo or Super Mario fruit snacks, or that awesome sauce Pokemon mac ‘n cheese, or… Okay, you probably didn’t need an explanation for this one, but I couldn’t stop my nostalgia.

Commie :: And you should stock character goods from a popular show.
They’re expensive, but they’ll sell.

Doki-Chihiro :: Also, try to get some popular character-themed sweets.
They’re more expensive, but they sell more.

Funimation :: And you should sell {\i1}dagashi{\i0} with popular characters, too.
They’re more expensive, but they sell well.

Mori :: And you should consider stocking some of the popular character candy.
They’re a bit pricey, but they sell!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

Essential 4.

Hotaru has posed a challenge to Coconuts to find a combination of Umaibo flavors that’d satisfy her presumably yeasty vagina. (I still would, ofc.)

Commie :: Okay, uh…
Cheese and octopus fritters to make cheese octopus fritters?
>Not bad, but lacking impact.

Doki-Chihiro :: Hm, well…
How about cheese and takoyaki, to make Cheese Takoyaki?
>Not bad, but it doesn’t have enough punch to it.

Funimation :: Well then, how about…
…combining cheese and octopus dumpling flavors
to make “cheese-octopus dumpling” flavor?
>It’s not bad, but it lacks punch.

Mori :: Let’s see…
How about combining the cheese and takoyaki flavours?
>Not bad, but it lacks a punch.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

Essential 5.

There’s a lengthier joke around this, but this part of it’s pretty self-contained.

Commie :: I’d feel so much better if you were dating her.
>Wh-What are you talking about?
>Off his rocker, isn’t he?

Doki-Chihiro :: If you two were dating, I’d be able to spend my retirement in peace.
>S-Stop joking around, Dad.
>Right, Shidare-san?

Funimation :: If you were going out with Kokonotsu, our family business would be secured.
>Wh-What’re you saying, Dad?
>Right, Miss Shidare?

Mori :: If you were dating Kokonotsu, our future would’ve been secured.
>Wh-What are you talking about, Dad?
>Right, Shidare-san?

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

Essential 6.

Tou stirring the pot like he’s waiting for Hansel and Gretel.

Commie :: You got the hots for her or something?
>What are you talking about? I mean, she’s really weird, so…

Doki-Chihiro :: Could it be that… you’re interested in her?
>Interested…? Well, she’s a really strange person, so…

Funimation :: Could it be that you’re quite curious about her?
>It’s not that I’m curious, so much as that she’s very strange.

Mori :: Could it be that you’re into her?
>Into her? Well, she’s a really odd person, so…

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

Essential 7.

Saya likes Coco, Coco doesn’t know… So for the sake of the plot, don’t tell Coco cuz Coco doesn’t know.

Commie :: Yeah, sure, Coconuts is denser than a coconut and shit.
But you? You’re a bigger frickin’ dumbass than he is!

Doki-Chihiro :: It’s to be expected that {\i1}Coconut{\i0} hasn’t noticed,
but you’re a super ultra moron in your own right!

Funimation :: Coconuts is so thick-headed for not noticing it,
but you’re super, ultra stupid, too.

Mori :: Well, Coconuts sure is a coconut for not realising it,
but you’re also one hell of a super ultra idiot!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

Essential 8.

By the way, whatever you’ve been told about sugar giving you energy is complete bullshit. There’s a reason why fat kids aren’t track stars.

Commie :: Some sugar healing for my brain after all that thinking.

Doki-Chihiro :: My brain is burnt out from today, so I’m replenishing my sugar levels!

Funimation :: They can replenish sugar when your brain is overworked!

Mori :: A replenishment of sugar for an overworked brain!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

Essential 9.

Dragon Quest III was even worse than Force Awakens. Fight me.

Commie :: The noble monkey king has instructed me to search this land for the Legend that slumbers within.

Doki-Chihiro :: Under the orders of a noble lord, I’ve come to this land in search of the legend who lives here.

Funimation :: Under the orders of someone high-ranking,
I came to search for a legend that dwells in this land.

Mori :: At the behest of a certain noble,
I have come here in search of a living legend.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

 

Expanded 1.

An untelevised revelation.

Commie :: That’s right, the famous snack company, Shidare Co.!
I cannot hide it! My father is the owner!
And one day, I’ll turn it into the world’s top snack manufacturer!
>That’s our TV, isn’t it?

Doki-Chihiro :: That’s right.
As you know, it’s the name of the sweets manufacturer, Shidare Company!
It’s my father’s company, to be frank with you.
And someday, I, Shidare Hotaru, will open the world’s finest sweets manufacturer–!
>That’s our TV, right?

Funimation :: That’s right. Shidare Company, the famous snack manufacturer!
As a matter of fact, it’s my father’s company!
And some day, I, Hotaru Shidare,
will make it the world’s number-one snack manufactu– Oops.
>That’s our TV, right?

Mori :: That’s right! The candy manufacturer I’m sure you’re familiar with, the Shidare company!
I’ll come right out, it’s my father’s company!
And I, Shidare Hotaru, will turn the company into the world’s top candy manufacturer…!
>That’s {\i1}our{\i0} TV, isn’t it?

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

Expanded 2.

A high-stakes challenge.

Commie :: So I wanna see what combos you can think of.
In other words, I want you to create amazing combos and try to satisfy me!
>She’s acting like the last boss in some game.

Doki-Chihiro :: And so, I want to know what kind of combinations you can think of.
In other words, satisfy me with the best combination you can think of.
>She sounds like the final boss in a video game.

Funimation :: So I wanna hear the combinations you can come up with.
>Oh…
In other words, come up with the best combination and make me satisfied!
>Boy, she’s talking like the final boss in a video game.

Mori :: I’d like to see what combinations you can come up with.
>Right…
Now, come at me with the ultimate combination and satisfy me!
>Sounds like a line the final boss in a game would say.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

Expanded 3.

An unfortunate attraction.

Commie :: I…
I’m in love with…
>H-Hotaru?
Yes, I’m in love…
…with Pochi!
He’s totally my type!
>>Oh my, you cougar!
>>What a surprise!
Isn’t he just adorbs?
With that sailor uniform and tongue sticking out!

Doki-Chihiro :: The one I’ve fallen for…
>H-Hotaru-san?
That’s right.
It’s Pocchi-kun.
He’s just my type of guy!
>>Eh? Him?
>>I never would have guessed!
Isn’t he just too cute?!
His smile! And the way he sticks his tongue out!

Funimation :: The one… I’m in love with is…
>H-Hotaru?
That’s right. Pocchi is my type… big time.
>>What? That’s your type? I didn’t expect that.
His sailor suit and the way he sticks his tongue out are super cute, right?!

Mori :: The person…
The person I like, is…
>H-Hotaru-san?
That’s right, I think that…
…Pocchi-kun is just {\i1}so{\i0} my type!
>>No way! You’re on {\i1}that{\i0} team?
>>How unexpected!
But he’s so cute!
With that sailor outfit, and his poses!

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

Expanded 4.

A total rejection.

Commie :: I was raised in this candy shop.
It is my life.
So until Kokonotsu accepts his role as the ninth owner…
I… I…
>I told you I wasn’t about that life.

Doki-Chihiro :: I was raised here, at the Shikada Sweet Shop.
This shop is my life.
Until Kokonotsu takes over as the ninth family head,
I… I…
>I told you: I’m not taking over.

Funimation :: I grew up here at Shikada Dagashi.
This shop is my life itself.
Until Kokonotsu becomes its ninth owner, I can’t… I can’t…
>I did tell you I’m not doing that, right?

Mori :: I was raised here in this Shikada Candy Shop.
This shop is my life.
And with Kokonotsu succeeding as the ninth generation head,
I… I…!
>Didn’t I say I wasn’t going to?

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

 

Expanded 5.

An astute observation.

Commie :: Not every day someone comes out here all the way from the city.
>No kidding.

Doki-Chihiro :: That’s pretty rare. People don’t usually bother to come out here.
>That’s for sure.

Funimation :: It’s rare to see… an outsider visiting this remote town, isn’t it?
>Yep, yep.

Mori :: That’s pretty unusual.
For someone to come all the way out to this little town.
>Sure is.

N/A :: N/A. They all suck.

Buyfaggery – Loot Anime (January 2016)

$
0
0

I buy bad things so you don’t have to.

 

Intro

The basic concept around a “loot crate” is that you subscribe to receive a monthly shipment of capitalism (in a “crate”) filled with items worth more than what you paid for them. The kicker is you don’t know what you’re getting — the company you get the box from will only send you a random assortment of shit that matches a particular theme.

But the mystery makes it fun!™

tl;dr: legal gambling

tl;dr: legal gambling

Anyways, I found myself with a couple crate subscriptions for November, and this is how part 1 of that adventure panned out…

 

 

Loot Anime

Loot Anime is technically a new service (having only started last month), but it’s run by the people who created the entire concept back in 2012, so you’d assume they’d have their shit together by now.

Bad plan.

You’d assume wrong.

I saw the December crate they had up as an example of what subscribers would get going forward, and while I thought it was distinctly not worth the $60 they claimed it was

This is like shit you'd find underneath my bed.

This is the kinda shit you’d find underneath my bed.

…an exclusive manga printing, some bandages for when I get too deep into a fap session, and a weeb mug to hold my whiskey sours– Actually, fuck, that’s not even worth $20.

How do I maths?

Oh well, math has never been my strong suit.

Dubious value aside, I signed up to get a January crate. Worst case I’d only be out $30. Best case they’d ship me a Fairy Tail pocket pussy. Worth a dice roll at least, right?

The only juvie worth entering.

The only juvie worth entering. <3

 

 

An Enchanting Premise

SoC

While I despise its lazy trash fandom who think paying $25 for a poor-fitting shirt makes them cosplayers, NGNL is one series I wouldn’t mind having more swag of. So I thought this sounded good:

Loot_Anime_January_Original

Unfortunately for the Dark_Sage, I assumed a certain level of competence that was never going to be met by these chucklefucks.

Thanks_Loot_Anime_But_You_Really_Shouldnt_Have

Email_1

Loot_Anime_Timeliness

Email_2

Yeah, not only was I gonna screwed out of my NGNL swag, I wasn’t even gonna get it on time. Waiting ain’t altogether a problem for me, but I’m always wary of anything that causes confidence issues that can’t be solved with pills. And it turns out my sagey sense had been tingling for a reason.

 

 

The Crate

Loot_Anime_January_01

Oh boy, I wonder what I’m going to get!

Top japes, Loot Anime. ._.

Top japes, Loot Anime. ._.

Here’s a breakdown of the goods bads:

 

A Fairy Tail-licensed scarf.

Loot_Anime_Fairy_Tail_Scarf

What the fuck am I supposed to do with a licensed scarf? Can’t even hang myself with it cuz the thing feels as cheap as any cosplayer’s self-esteem who’d actually wear it.

Hell, I’d donate this to a homeless shelter, but even the homeless have pride. Guess I’ll just use it as a dust cloth or something.

 

An unwearable t-shirt.

Loot_Anime_Rokka_T-shirt

While fashion has never played a part in my wardrobe choices, the odds of me repping Rokka publicly are about as low as PonyCan’s chances of survival in the US.

If Rokka is the best title they can license, they may as well just light a pile of money on fire and call it good.

Seriously, if Rokka is the best title they can license, they may as well just invest their operating fund in Enron stock.

 

A pin, a cell phone strap, konpeito, a key ring, and a cardboard print of some Loot Crate staffer’s Mickey Mouse fanart.

Loot_Trash

Holy junk, Batman!

That’s literally all I fucking got for my $30 investment, other than the commemorative poster listing off all the trash they unloaded on me. I’d show you a picture but I already used it to test out my fire alarm.

Good news! It worked.

Good news! It worked.

 

 

Loot is Over

Apparently this coming month’s crate is super duper close to selling out and omg you should buy now or you will regret it forevers!

!!!

le wow!

Yeah, no. I would strongly recommend you avoid this and let someone else get assfucked by Loot Anime’s bleeding, herpetic dick. Your butt deserves better.

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