Giving up my morning coverage of Momocon to bring you pics from a better con.

Note: If you want bigger pictures, click on the images — they’re hyperlinked to the larger versions (that are like 350 MB a piece). If you just try to view the image itself (in Firefox, for example, doing Right Click -> View Image), you’ll get some small/fucked-up version of the image. I have to do it like this because WordPress sucks.

Saturday

Eto – Tokyo Ghoul

I tend to skip over the common Kanekis at cons, but I knew I had to nab this Eto as soon as I saw her. Also, it gave me an excuse to run away from one of the worst egg benedicts I’ve ever had. Seriously, San Jose, they’re not that fucking hard. Why can’t you fucking make something that’s at least edible?

Mayu x Chiyuki – Death Parade

Didn’t recognize this was a Mayu until the Chiyuki brought it up. Their pro-tier pose game made me regret my potential slight.

Hestia – DanMachi

We went on a journey to find every Hestia we could. …and we succeeded. Go us. Chase (Soup) also grabbed a pic with another one earlier in the day:

Chase so perfect~

Yurigasaki Lulu x Yurishiro Ginko – Yurikuma Arashi

Apparently these two are professional cosplayers (http://www.windofthestars.com/). They’d probably make more in other pursuits that exploit their youth, but hey — whatever works.

Yaya – Unbreakable Machine-Doll

When puddi, conks, and I saw this cosplay we were like “Holy shit, was that Unbreakable Machine-Doll? That’s rare. I bet we’d make that girl’s day if we took a pic of her.” But by the time we determined this, she had already disappeared. Thus ensued a five-minute search that resulted in this pic… in which she didn’t appear excited at all.

Lesson learned: Don’t put the doll on a pedestal.

Captain Cruhteo x Asseylum Vers Allusia – Aldnoah. Zero

Caught these two while playing WalkCon when separated from the crew. The cosplay was pretty on-spot, unlike the pandering cancer the show turned into.

Yin x Hei – Darker than Black

If Hei was alone, this’d be a pass. But with Yin? Eh, sure.

Gendo x his dead wife whose soul he implanted in a 14-year-old’s body that he probably skull-fucked (/spoilers) – Neon Genesis Evangelion

They gave me a Gendo button for taking their pic. It was adequate compensation.

Kaneo Takarada – Kill la Kill

Cash kane millionaire. There was no way I wasn’t gonna mug this mug for a shot of his mug. (No, I will not apologize for that.)

Someone x Velvet – Odin Sphere

Honestly, I didn’t even like Odin Sphere. But I collect rare cosplay like I collect otaku hearts, so I had to grab this shot.

Loki – DanMachi

Loki Loki Loki <3 <3 <3

Saying I was thrilled to get this shot would be a significant understatement.

Sunday

Gintaro x Kaguya – Gintama

I’m not super hype for Gintama, but I know a lot of you are, so I camera-glomped these two while they were sitting down. Luckily, they took it like champs. Bosses, even.

I think we were only on the con floor for like two hours on Sunday, so we didn’t get too many any other pics. Gomen.

Monday

Chiyuki x Decim – Death Parade

These two were not particularly pleased I wanted a picture of them, and I basically had to tear the Decim away from the dog he was walking to get the combo shot.

Decim was really feeling it.

You could say I was an asshole for grabbing a picture anyway, but they should have at least suspected that walking in Death Parade cosplay a block from the convention center was likely to get them jumped by a Dark_Sage. I mean, the odds were a little higher than 100%.

And… that was the only pic I nabbed on Monday, cuz although I saw some awesome opportunities (there were a few Black Lagoon cosplayers staging a fight around an empty con center at 5:00), I was way too fucking dead to attempt interacting with humans. And I’m pretty much at that point right now at Momocon. Please save me. ;_;

I’d rename the site to ConventionMore, but I think our current title describes the state of things well enough.

Note: If you want bigger pictures, click on the images — they’re hyperlinked to the larger versions (that are like 3 GB a piece). If you just try to view the image itself (in Firefox, for example, doing Right Click -> View Image), you’ll get some small/fucked-up version of the image. I have to do it like this because WordPress sucks.

Thursday

Meme – Me!Me!Me!

I think she just came to hang out in the foyer and pose, but that’s fine too. Not like there was anything else to do at this fucking con.

MerHaru – Free!

>”Do you want me on the floor?”

>”Uhh… YES”

Fucking anime cons <3

Rei Ayanami – Silent Hill

Bad lighting makes for good crossovers.

Holo x Lawrence – Spicy Wolf

Peddling apples like I peddle literary orgasms~

Friday

Jaune Arc – RWBY

I don’t usually get RWBY pics, but he had the guitar, so…

Meme – Me!Me!Me!

Didn’t ask for tongue, but I got it anyway. #Success

Decim – Death Parade

Don’t know what the fuck the badge is for, but okay.

Esdeath – Akame ga Kill!

One of these days the Esbestus will kill me. Unfortunately, this was not one of those days.

Jibril – NGNL

Yeah, it’s a good Jibril, but Mr. Doesn’t-Skip-Taco-Tuesday was feeling it way more than he should have been.

Decim – Death Parade

Turns out this Decim runs AkaiCon. His friend caught me on an escalator and tried to get me to go by explaining they got the English voice actor for Levi to attend the con. All during his spiel, I could only think of how fucking pathetic someone would have to be in order to look up to a voice actor of all people. I’d honestly burn my entire collection if it meant the scene wouldn’t have to deal with this fake celebrity bullshit anymore.

The cosplay was pretty on point, but I think I’m done with Death Parade pics after this con. Honestly saw three other Decims after this.

Yuno Gasai – Mirai Nikki

Not sure what the pose is, but she did compliment me on being “the best person ever”, so I’m gonna say she wins the con for feeding my narcissism the most.

Doll x Sakura Kyouko – Kuroshitsuji & Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Fucking loved Book of Circus. The Doll cosplayer asked if I wanted her to stand up, but it was more entertaining this way. Plus, her friend got in the shot, so it was like double the cosplay with half the effort. That’s a win in my book.

Genderbent Decim – Death Parade

All right, yeah, this isn’t exactly an accurate genderbent Decim… but she did give me homemade memento mori (and not the virgin kind). Taking into account that her day job is legitimately bartending, we’ll let it slide. Red bow next time, plz.

Saturday

Klaus – Kekkai Sensen

Shut up. It’s rare.

Hoozuki – Hoozuki no Reitetsu

Occasionally I have an existentialist crisis on WalkCon and wish I was back in my hotel room looking for fucked-up porn on the Sankaku booru. But then I come across cosplays where the cosplayers tell me I’m the only person who recognized the series where they’re from, and it helps justify the effort.

Skipping past the livejournaling, Hoozuki no Reitetsu was an awful anime, but this cosplay’s pretty sweet anyway.

Names that I’d get wrong if I guessed again – Aldnoah Zero

Aldnoah.Zero cosplay’s always hype even if the show was asstastic (and not in the Queen’s Blade way).

Sunday

Anthy x Utena – Revolutionary Shoujo Utena

I despised Utena (the show would be 6 episodes if they took out all the filler and car scenes), but damned if I don’t know what’ll make your hearts beat.

Yuno Gasai – Mirai Nikki

On my way out to lunch, saw this Yuno and knew I had to get a memento of best girl. Almost was enough to wash the taste of con cancer away.

Luckily, ocarina guy was there to finish the job.

Snort rat poison, Commie devs. These dubtitles wouldn’t even fit in a Sentai release.

Note that this is not a review in the standard sense of the term. But while there will be no “final score”, there will definitely be judgment. Just like I’ll be judging the fuck out of you if you can’t get off to the best scene in the series:

You can take a few minutes to recover before continuing on with the rest of the post. I’ll understand.

Visuals

OP/ED.

Typesetting.

Styling/line management.

Blurry, broken, or missing signs… 1-minute-and-done-with-it karaoke… The visuals are managed by meatsacks too prideless or incompetent to even hit the lofty goal of mediocrity.

Yet, seemingly unable to understand their incompetence, Commie tries to make the show about them at every chance.

“Check out what we can do with the subs. Aren’t we wacky and original?”

Dialogue

For the script, I could go into all the mistakes Commie made…

the conversations formed in a vacuum…

and the pure nonsense infesting every corner of their scripts…

…but I’m not going to. Why bother when there’s enough shitty localization attempts here to make even 4Kids blush?

“Bento are lunch boxes, silly.”

As you can expect from any Commie-branded release, all cultural nuance is lost in the grinder of dictionary translations.

Thanks to subs crafted with the deftness of a Capcom translator, you’d be forgiven for asking what fucking country the show’s supposed to be taking place in on a scene-by-scene basis.

The jokes don’t make sense.

This particular attempt at comedy invokes an American car insurance company called GEICO (again, what country is this?). But the line Commie crafted has all the flow of a dam — even if you threw the line into the most corporate sitcom around, the fucking laugh track itself would have enough sentience to refuse to play.

It doesn’t need to make sense as long as the editor thinks it’s funny.

Comedy apparently does not come easy to people who are typically the butt of jokes.

Like, epic for the win!

Without regard for characterization that makes sense, Commie makes every character sound like a fucking valley girl.

And those that don’t get the dumb-blonde treatment fare even worse.

Get it? It’s funny because :religion:

Droppin’ consonants like the editor dropped outta middle school.

Oh wait, it gets dumber? They can’t even fucking stick to one manner of speech for their characters? Well, boy howdy desu.

“This must be how the gangsters my mom told me about talk!”

The stupidity doesn’t stop there.

If you thought that was enough, you’re probably right, but the Commie devs can’t hear you all the way up their own asses.

Deciding their translation of “Yahello” into “Yo, ‘sup” wasn’t dumb enough, Commie turns fujo-chan’s opening statement into… whatever the fuck this is.

Moshi mosh~

As for how Iroha fared under Commie’s banner? RIP.

Killing characters like GRRM. That’s the Commie way~

This evil misogyny.

While Commie’s dialogue here doesn’t particularly bother me (as if I’d ever be so pathetic as to join the ranks of the perpetually offended), I’m sure some of you out there are grinding your teeth already.

Considering the content of their site, it’s a wonder they didn’t throw racism into the mix. So there’s the first positive thing I can say about their release, at least!

Trigger warning: put in those retainers.

And if you’re expecting anything different from, say, Commie’s cadet branch, Vivid…

…it’s classlessness all the way down. Guess there’s more to these things than just names~

Recommendation sans commendation.

While this would be a great chance for me to point to Crunchyroll’s release and say “Hey, that option over there is better in every possible way.” I can’t. The Crunchy dialogue often drags the show down at the most inopportune points.

Like, um, what?

However, when faced with the option of a release where any scene could be entirely ruined by some 30-year-old virgin, or a passable-yet-dull script, I’ll go with the latter every time. I want to watch Yahari, not some nobody’s attempt at rifftrax.

The sad part is you can’t even say that about Commie’s attempt here.

This is gonna be a shorter read than normal, but I’m pretty sure if you check the comparisons I made you’ll be able to forgive my sagey heart~ [In case you don’t want ep 08 spoilers, FFF wins.]

Note: I’m dispensing with the karaoke/typesetting comparisons for this one. You should know how they’re gonna go by now. And if you don’t: both releases have typesetting but FFF’s is better, and CR has no karaoke while FFF has okayish kara. Enjoy the saved screen real estate.

The Comparisons

While a number of the lines in Crunchy’s script aren’t necessarily wrong, they can be rather confusing without heavily relying on the visuals for context.

FFF’s script, however, stands on its own, making it a much more engaging read.

Similarly, FFF’s dialogue is filled with character, but not to the point of being overbearing.

FFF’s script is clearly based off CR’s, but the editing provides a desperately needed layer of polish to it… a disappointing indicator in how much thought Crunchyroll’s team gave to the release.

Even where FFF doesn’t come up with interesting dialogue, it’s nearly always better than the other option. Kudos to the editor for putting more effort into this release than the rest of FFF has put into the entire spring season.

And yes, I am blaming you douchetwats for the ~300 comments of buttpain in my review of Commie’s Yahari. If only you fucking released when you were supposed to, I coulda wrung 600 or so tears out of that shitty show. ;_;

Fixing the dialogue.

Back to this shitty show, Crunchyroll makes some… interesting choices.

Come on, don’t glance over these images like I know you’re itching to do. Fucking look at them. It builds character.

Shitdamn, there’s so much more stupid in Crunchyroll’s script that FFF had to fix that I can’t even sum it up.

Luckily, Crunchyroll can:

Perhaps our Crunchyroll overlords are not as benevolent as we once imagined. Good thing we’ve got an alternative for Hibike at least.

A teen romance, but without the abortion drama.

FFF offers a decent entry for the Hazuki x Shuichi deito scene with “This is my first time going to the Agata Festival with a guy.”/”Yeah, likewise.” that gets across the idea that this is the first time either of them have gone to a fiesta with someone of the opposite gender.

Crunchyroll, though (the first line is spoken by the girl, and the second by the guy)…

Crunchyroll wins for making an awkward scene even more awkward. There’s more cringe here than a speed dating panel at an anime con, and I can’t get enough of it.

As American as hot dog pizza (which yes, we’re finally getting on our shores next week — fucking rejoice).

Though both FFF and CR opted to use honorifics in their scripts, they went for a blanket translation of Yuki-Onna (one of the more common Japanese spirits/youkai from Nipponian folklore).

This was the perfect opportunity to add in cultural context with practically no drawback. It’s a built-in TL note. Just had to say something like “Yuki-Onna, the Snow Maiden” or “The Snow Maiden, Yuki-Onna”. Even better, it adds more context to the scripts, since nobody knows what the fuck a “Snow Maiden” is.

I mean, I wouldn’t have complained if they went with “winter siren” or some shit like that, which conveyed the essence of the myth… but they didn’t, so I did.

tl;dr

In nearly every line comparison I made of the Crunchyroll and FFF scripts, I found the latter to have a superior offering. Unfortunately, I can recommend neither option to you, as they both missed the obvious innuendo potential with this line:

As such, canonically, both releases receive an F for Hibike! Euphonium. Translation is truly dead. Long live Zero-Raws.

I’ll be taking a look at the first nine original series airing this summer. I guess there’s a few that are tolerable.

Cheat Sheet

If you actually wanna read this, I’d open the image up in a new tab or something.

The Series

Gangsta.

Manga: http://www.mangareader.net/gangsta/1/5

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Manglobe

If the first ep doesn’t sell you on Gangsta, I don’t know what will. This shit gives me the same tinglies that Black Lagoon and Jormungand (S2) did.

But if you’re expecting a show about friends on a vacation, you’re gonna have to wait till you’re too far in to care — slumming is the name of this anime game.

And game is good.

Had to stop myself from reading the manga after four chapters, cuz I can only take so much of a series matching my expectations before I start to think it’s all just a cruel joke.

Speaking of: no, they don’t fuck. What do you think this is, Usagi Drop?

Chaos Dragon: Sekiryuu Seneki

This is the only thing that came up for “Red Dragon” that wasn’t a dragon fucking another dragon.
…At least this encapsulates my impression of the series.

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: CONNECT | SILVER LINK

Lemme just quote the MAL synopsis:

Chaos Dragon is based on the role-playing fiction project Red Dragon, a story which was created by five notable character designers: Gen Urobochi (Fate/Zero), Kinoko Nasu (Kara no Kyoukai), Iduki Kougyoku (Mimizuku to Yoru no Ou), Ryohgo Narita (Durarara!!), and Simadoriru (member of the Stripe Pattern doujin circle). The results of their tabletop role-playing game sessions over six days created material for a seven-volume light novel series.

If there’s anything I’ve learned from the ever-harping shitbards I know that play DnD-style games, it’s that creativity will never factor into this show.

And with that cast of five hacks, even the neckbeards who somehow found enough literacy to stumble their way onto Crymore will have to admit that this is never going to be “as epic as my kobold mage finding out he’s only — le derp — half-kobold! The other half being dragon!”

¡Qué sorpresa!

Take a look at that budget-ass trailer and tell me this isn’t gonna be Dog Days without the self-awareness. Fuck DnD and fuck “Chaos Dragon”. This failshit’s so common I can hardly bring myself to be disappointed in this world anymore. But I am, of course.

Ranpo Kitan: Game of Laplace

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Lerche

Budget Hyobu leads a ragtag cast of cast-offs around a high school to solve spooky murders… apparently with all the grimdarkness of a Harry Potter book. Haha… no. Next, please.

Aoharu x Kikanjuu

Manga: http://www.mangahere.co/manga/seishun_x_kikanjuu/c000/

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Brain’s Base

Ouran High School Host Club x Sabagebu seems like a combo that’s hard to beat, and the manga is surprisingly tolerable. But check that PV and see if its 240p plot isn’t warning you away from this disaster.

Dammit, me-sama. Don’t be fooled by the bishie face. Remember this is being done by Brain’s Base.

Yeah, move on.

Ushio to Tora

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/67929/ushio-to-tora_v1_by_youkai-scanlations

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: MAPPA | Studio VOLN

As an adaptation of a shounen manga from the early 90s, Ushio & Tora won’t be winning any awards for… well, it won’t be winning any awards, period. But there’s a kind of nostalgic feel to it that anyone who borrowed yellowed copies of 3×3 Eyes from their local library to jerk off to cuz their dad’s dial-up internet wasn’t gonna cut it anymore can relate to.

Sorta like this? Except not really, but I like the image.

Look, what I’m saying is, I’m not gonna judge you for watching this, but you should probably get your dad to upgrade his fucking internet connection, cuz it’s fucking 2015 let’s be serious here — I don’t care how far out in the country you are.

Wakaba Girl

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Nexus

Due to Japan’s complete inability to promote its only export other than kitschy shit middle-aged hambeasts buy to keep up with the Joneses, I have no fucking clue what this anime’s about other than that image. So I’m just gonna call it as another “cute girls do cute things” anime, which will probably be banned by end of the season in Australia anyway.

Don’t despair though, those of you under the rule of freedom-hating noveau puritans, the genre sucks anyway.

Gate: Jieitai Kanochi nite, Kaku Tatakaeri

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: A-1 Pictures

Looks like Outbreak Company x Decent Budget. And A-1 rarely manages to significantly disappoint (me).

…Sure, I’m in.

Okay, I admit I’m mostly only interested cuz this girl’s really cute.

Classroom Crisis

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Lay-duce

Remember when you thought Robotics;Notes was gonna be good? This is basically gonna be like that, except with even more slice-of-life bullshit.

You know what? Ignore this shit and track down a copy of Denpa Teki na Kanojo. Here, I’ll save you the effort: http://www.nyaa.se/?page=view&tid=658843. You get interesting characters with a plot that isn’t as cookie cutter as EZ-Bake Oven accessories. It’ll only take you an hour and a half to get through, and there’s a fucking yandere. How can you go wrong?

You can’t, that’s how.

Seriously, fucking watch this shit. It is legitimately fantastic.

Shimoneta to Iu Gainen ga Sonzai Shinai Taikutsu na Sekai

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/235534/shimoneta-to-iu-gainen-ga-sonzai-shinai-taikutsu-na-sekai-manmaru-hen_ch1_by_habanero-scans/2

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: J.C. Staff

In a Japan where sexual discussion is prohibited, a pervert fights back as best she can. Think Psycho Pass meets The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

They may cut your dick in half,
And serve it to a pig.
And though it hurts, you’ll laugh,
And dance a dickless jig.
But that’s the way it goes:
In war, you’re shat upon!
Though you die, La Résistance… lives on!

I’m down for anything that paints SJWs as the pox on society they are, and even better if it’s in a format I can fap to. This one’s gonna be a winner if you can taste even half as good as me.

tl;dr

Watch:

• Gangsta.
• Gate: Jieitai Kanochi nite, Kaku Tatakaeri
• Shimoneta to Iu Gainen ga Sonzai Shinai Taikutsu na Sekai

Watch if you’re too far gone to turn back now:

• Aoharu x Kikanjuu
• Ushio to Tora

Don’t watch, for the sake of your own soul:

• Chaos Dragon: Sekiryuu Seneki
• Ranpo Kitan: Game of Laplace
• Wakaba Girl
• Classroom Crisis

Even if you’re not entirely impressed by the season (and keep in mind a “Good” rating in this post is only gonna be a 7-8/10), keep in mind that Persona 5 will be here by the end of the year. Japan’s redemption is nigh!

Cheat Sheet

If you actually wanna read this, I’d open the image up in a new tab or something.

The Series

Charlotte

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/327870/charlotte-the-4-koma-seshun-o-kakenukero_ch1_by_anonymous

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: P.A. Works

P.A. Works hasn’t made a decent series since Hanasaku Iroha, but maybe Angel Beats Lite will bring them back from the brink. After all, this is a Key show. And Key can do no wrong! Well, except when it’s Little Busters. Or Air. Or Planetarian (I assume, cuz I ain’t wasting time on a 3-hour VN even if I have it).

But you thought it was super sad when the foxgirl died in Kanon 10 years ago, so just fucking believe this will be good. At least you’re guaranteed to be shedding tears by the end of it.

Please put all your faith in a company that can’t even spell its properties right.

Venus Project -Climax-

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Nomad

They’re only throwing six episodes at this series, and even the visuals look budget, so I’m not sure what we’re gonna be in for other than a godawful fucking time. Look, I don’t care how pointy the girls’ boobs are, the smoothness of their hips, or the– wait, how low are those panties again?

Sike! I’m not the kinda guy who’d be taken in by fapbait. Taste this discerning didn’t come from a lack of sagacity. My recommendation to avoid this show stands.

Rokka no Yuusha

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: https://rokkathetranslation.wordpress.com/volume-1/

Animation Production: Passione

Six warriors have to defeat an unspeakable evil, but seven gather. And one of them rocks a mean underboob. This is the show I’ve been waiting my whole life for.

Fremy <3

Now, I know what you’re going to say. “Dark_Sage, is it not butts that are a man’s romance?” And while I must acknowledge that is true, the underboob is a justice of its own design. And combined with an eyepatched kuudere sniper…

Just try and tell me you aren’t interested. Nobody’s taste is that bad. I’ll be watching this one intently, and I recommend you do the same.

God Eater

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/112801/god-eater-the-summer-wars_v1_ch1_by_village-idiot/2

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Nomad

Ufotable does Attack on Titan? Hells yes I’m in. Or, I would be, if I wasn’t already familiar with the characters. Look, ufotable couldn’t even make Fate/Stay Night good, so I don’t have any expectations that they can somehow turn a cast of somewhat-personified tropes into something capable of entertaining me for more than a few minutes.

And just because drinking Alisa’s bath water would be more motivating than an Adderal tonic–

And just because a certain character provides the cure for whiskey dick, that doesn’t mean this show’s gonna be superb. I mean, I’ll watch anything with money put into it, but for a show like this expectations must be tempered. I’d ask you to remember Owari no Seraph when dealing with God Eater, but that show’s created more alcoholics than Russia, so I’ll just recommend blanket caution.

Akagami no Shirayukihime

Manga: http://www.mangareader.net/355-24824-1/akagami-no-shirayukihime/chapter-1.html

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: BONES

It’s shoujo, so it’s an automatic 8/10 for me if I don’t get bored enough to drop it after 5 eps (hi, Ore Monogatari). Having gone through the manga, I guess I’d describe it as Soredemo Sekai, but if the main characters weren’t irredeemable cunts. So yeah, I fucking love it.

Now, I gotta state off the bat that it’s about as unambitious as a fansubber, but with this being thrown into the BONES pile, I am intrigued. Fingers crossed for vanilla with some bite to it.

Million Doll

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/310484/million-doll_ch1_by_shini-tan-scans

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Asahi Production

Though I despise idol/wota culture (really, I despise celebrity culture in general), Million Doll is closer to something like Wake Up Girls rather than the sugared poison of a Love Live. I’m probably just projecting, but goddamn, not only is every character completely broken, but they’re all trapped in prisons of society’s — and their own — creation.

For a central plot point in what appears to be a stupid shoujo, the conflict between the wota blogger and the concert-going wota is finger-nommingly hype. How fucking selfishly manipulative will these “fans” get?

Which pawns will win?

Okay, now I’m sure I’m projecting. This isn’t fucking deep drama; anything interesting about the series has to be specifically read into. But that it can be read that way is the best part about the series.

With the proper interpretation (read: mine), I would be exceptionally interested in the anime, but I get the feeling it’s going to be more whitewashy than skin bleaching cream. As such, don’t expect anything more than your standard cutesy idol shit. Which is a shame.

Jitsu wa Watashi wa

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/329807/jitsu-wa-watashi-wa_v1_ch1_by_futari-wa-pretty-anon

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Asahi Production

A high school comedy featuring a guy who can’t lie and a Kansai-go-lucky vampire (plus a bunch of other whacky characters). Sure, the manga’s cute, and the anime likely will be too, but silly high schoolers being silly has been done to death by now. Even if you don’t think you deserve better than this, you totally do.

Sore ga Seiyuu!

Manga: N/A

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Gonzo

Seiyuu doing cute things? Gonzo? lol

tl;dr

Excellent (9-10/10):

• N/A

Good-ish (7-8/10):

• Charlotte
• Rokka no Yuusha
• God Eater
• Akagami no Shirayukihime
• Million Doll

Meh (5-6/10):

• Jitsu wa Watashi wa

No more, please (1-4/10):

• Venus Project -Climax-
• Sore ga Seiyuu!

This post was originally gonna be all about Bikini Warriors until I discovered its episodes are only five minutes long. RIP my 20 paragraphs of completely founded praise. ;_;

Cheat Sheet

If you actually wanna read this, I’d open the image up in a new tab or something.

For anyone keeping track, yes, this is the final part of the preview series. Don’t worry though, I’ll bring up the sequels and shorts airing this season in another post or two.

The Series

Overlord

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/290121/overlord_ch1_by_ak-scanlations/2

Light Novel: http://skythewood.blogspot.sg/p/knights-and-magic-author-amazake-no.html

Animation Production: MADHOUSE

I’d love to evaluate the quality ceiling on this series, but only two chapters into the LN, I’ve already grown too bored to see where it might go. Nothing fucking happens.

Honestly, the book reads like if Aria and Log Horizon had a kid, but they kept it locked inside a house where all it did was observe the fucking place. Like… I can understand the need for exposition, but there’s a line between useful information and psychological torture.

What is this, a fucking NES-era tribute?

Even if you cut off all the fat from the writing, the characters you’re left with are literally just NPCs with preset personalities. Every time they interact with each other or the MC it makes you fucking wish he went back to examining just how fucking skeletony his body actually is. Christ on a stale fucking Triscuit.

Don’t be fooled by the art. Albedo may be hot, but your libido will crumble under Overlord’s poor pacing.

I doubt there’s any way Madhouse could pace this series intelligently and stay remotely true to the LN (or the manga, which is equally as boring), so I hope they’re just adapting the series cuz they wanna make a He-Man prequel. But unfortunately I think their intentions are far more impure than that. My only recommendation for this show other than “don’t get your hopes up” is “don’t fucking bother”.

Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou

From left to right: lamia, harpy, centaur, slime girl, mermaid, best girl

Manga: http://kissmanga.com/Manga/Monster-Musume-no-Iru-Nichijou/001?id=114614

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Lerche | Seva

Have you ever thought, wow, this romcom would be so much more convenient if I could effortlessly fap to it? Well never fear, cuz Monster Musume’s got your back.

It’s got back in spades.

Now, I know some of you are thinking, “But Dark_Sage, isn’t that what ecchi is about? What makes this shit special?”

Allow me to illuminate you.

See, while ecchi tend to be fap-worthy romcoms, every single one of them is dragged down by a protagonist that deserves to have his testicles embedded into his lungs as he suffocates to death thanks to his own ineffectual manhood. Whereas in Monster Musume, the protag is consistently bearable, meaning you don’t need to hate yourself as you grind into your computer chair. Ipso facto, this occupies a space all to itself in the anime realm, and it deserves to be recognized as such.

Still, Lerche and Seva are relatively unproven, so this could turn out to be shit. But for a series that translated so well into manga form from what were just one-page one shots… Gotta say I’m actually raising my hopes for this one.

Kuusen Madoushi Kouhosei no Kyoukan (Sky Wizards Academy)

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/289566/kuusen-madoushi-kouhosei-no-kyoukan_ch1_by_chinjufu-scanlations

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Diomedea

Pop quiz! Does this look like the kinda series you’d like?

If so, you fail the taste test. If not, you just saved yourself some time.

Targeting the paste-eaters who liked Mahouka, Kuusen does its best to fulfill this season’s quota of brainless high school superpower harem shounen. Not a single facet of this budget shitfest is unique in the least. Offensive in its mediocrity, the sheer audacity of its existence is a greater crime against literature than the burning of a thousand Libraries of Alexandria. I mean, Jesus, the first chapter is titled “The Strongest Traitor”. That’s like Chu3-level shit.

Escapism is understandable. Hell, I get that people like to turn their brains off every once in a while considering how often I’m on 2chan instead of writing. But with so many fucking options out there that aren’t cancerous, choosing this path can only lead to a bad end. Please, for the sake of humanity, avoid this.

Himouto! Umaru-chan

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/164687/himouto-umaru-chan_ch00–v2-_by_no-group

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Doga Kobo

Remember how bad Plastic Memories was? Well combine that Doga Kobo shitfest with Puchimas and you’ve got this recipe for disaster.

Sure, if you’re capable of being entertained by anime furbies this cartoon’s gonna speak to you. But goddamn can I not fucking handle that kinda eye cancer, and I find it hard to believe there’s even a target audience for this bullshit. I hope Doga Kobo goes broke.

Gakkou Gurashi!

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/182408/gakkou-gurashi_v1_ch1_by_norway-scan/2

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Lerche

“What if we could make Highschool of the Dead boring?” thought Japan. And so they did.

If the concept of zombie apocalypse slice-of-life didn’t already make you revile in disgust, the glacial pacing of the story will. After forcing myself through two volumes of the story, hoping to find the point when it finally figured out what it wanted to say, I had to give up the hunt.

Sure, maybe hands more gifted than the original creator’s could cobble together a decent story from this wreck of a premise, but the script was written by the fuckwit who somehow made the anime adaptation of Gunslinger Stratos — a series with psychopaths and jetpacks — boring.

RIP Olga. You were too good for this world. ;_;

Steer fucking clear.

Kangoku Gakuen (Prison School)

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/22130/prison-school_v1_ch1_by_ems-team

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: J.C. Staff

After 100 tissues chapters of the manga, I’m confident in saying there’s not nearly enough budget in that PV to make me even consider recommending the anime over the manga to anyone but the blind. The manga is as much a masterpiece for its interesting characters as it is for how they’re portrayed. And while I’m confident J.C. Staff can get the facial expressions right…

Can’t wait for this in avatar quality.

…I’m not at all confident in the necessary level of ecchi being attainable on fucking broadcast TV:

Should Kangoku Gakuen manage to live up to its roots, this may just end up being the greatest ecchi anime of all time. If not, it should still be a decent romp, but nothing to reminisce about. And when it comes to anime, the most likely scenario is rarely the best.

Chu Feng: BEE (School Shock | Young Bee)

Manga: http://bato.to/read/_/5743/school-shock_ch1_by_maelstrom-unto-vivians-antyhign/2

Light Novel: N/A

Animation Production: Unknown

As cool as the PV looks, the amount of faith I have in something being created primarily for the Chinese mainland is fucking nil. Well, at least it would have been if I hadn’t read the manga (or manwha, if you Nippon Banzai purists wanna cause a scene). Unlike most of its Japanese contemporaries, Young Bee doesn’t shy away from having its main characters kill off the bad guys, helping it climb above the bog standard releases I’m used to suffering through.

Government/societal criticism ain’t exactly downplayed either, so maybe I’ve been misinformed as to what actually flies over in China proper. Mark me down as cautiously optimistic for this one. I’d love to be pleasantly surprised for once.

tl;dr

Excellent (9-10/10):

• N/A

Good-ish (7-8/10):

• Monster Musume no Iru Nichijou
• Kangoku Gakuen (Prison School)
• Chu Feng: BEE (School Shock | Young Bee)

Meh (5-6/10):

• N/A

No more, please (1-4/10):

• Overlord
• Kuusen Madoushi Kouhosei no Kyoukan (Sky Wizards Academy)
• Himouto! Umaru-chan
• Gakkou Gurashi!

Remember how I said Part 3 was the final part? Well, I lied.

The Post

I’m not sure whether “What?” or “Why?” is gonna be the first question you ask, but since I know the other one is an inevitability, I’ll outline the answers to both here:

What?

A collection of hentai/ecchi pics I found that apply to this airing season’s anime (original series only, per the previews). As far as the content goes, I’m not drawing the line at fetish or quality, so if you see some shitty mspaint bestiality guro and get offended, don’t fucking whine to me. Instead, rub one off to it; it’ll build character.

Why?

If there’s a quicker way to find out what shows are worth watching in a season, I don’t know it. Odds are Crymore’s the first blog to provide you with these visual means to determine which shows to watch this season, and hell if innovation ain’t the spice of my life.

You’re not telling me something here…

Okay, okay. You caught me. The main reason for this post is I read something about how just after you get off, your mind will associate whatever you experienced with pleasure, and I want that to be me. Basically, the point of this post is for you to think of me as you masturbate, even more than you usually do. It’s both a short-term and a long-term strategy for growth if you know what I mean.

Wink.jpg

The Series

Yeah, I’m just reusing this fucking image from Part 1.

Also, keep in mind that the quality of the pix in this thread are likely gonna be directly proportional to the quality of the anime. It’s the reason why series like Pokemon, Touhou, and KanColle are the best — cuz they have the fappiest fanart.

Gangsta.

(Note that all images can be expanded.)

Chaos Dragon – Sekiryuu Seneki

Ranpo Kitan – Game of Laplace

Aoharu x Kikanjuu

Ushio to Tora

Wakaba*Girl

Gate: Jieitai Kanochi nite, Kaku Tatakaeri

Classroom Crisis

Shimoneta to Iu Gainen ga Sonzai Shinai Taikutsu na Sekai

~

Well, was it as good for you as it was for me?

Volumes 2 and 3: probably never.

Oh my god.

Forward: Let me pre-empt the Autism and point out that I realize AnimeRG/Phr0stY aren’t “actual” fansub groups — rather, they were just the first to stick this Spanish->English guesslation on a shareraw and throw it up on Nyaa.

That being said, I ain’t reviewing a fucking .ass, and this has more downloads than any other fansub release this season, so by all rights it qualifies for a review. Just don’t expect a favorable one.

The Review

I’ve been out of the review game for a bit longer than I planned, so the timing of this release couldn’t be better.

…or worse (and the timing is this broken throughout).

Note that AnimeRG et al. didn’t standardize the font size, so while the subs appear in two lines with my lazy webm encode, they display as three lines in Media Player Classic.

…with pure Phr0stY quality of course.

Any release that starts out crediting the translator in Arial, immediately followed by an untranslated opening, deserves some kind of award for sheer testicular fortitude.

Luckily for humanity, said reward is the natural, sweet sterility of the fucknut who thought this’d be an acceptable translation. Yeah, I’m saying the TL probably has Down’s.

To get the low-hanging fruit outta the way first: tons of lines have random capitalization or are missing punctuation, and the line management is worse than a Daiz release.

Well, you probably get the point. But if you don’t, please know that I hate you, elspark15.

The following are the more “unique” aspects of this digital mistake:

No, TL-kun, Goku’s saying there’s no school on Sundays. Thanks for the watered-down dictionary definition of the day though, I guess. At least you learned something?

Elspark needs to encase his trachea in cement.

The best part is that the word “six” appears nowhere in the actual Japanese sentence.

It’s funny cuz of the bad English and also because the strongest female character in DBZ only ever existed to fill Toriyama’s vore fantasies.

Whichever route you choose, there’s no escaping this maze of Engrish. elspark’s truly a modern-day Daedalus.

The TL’s gotta be taking the fucking piss and just bathing in it. I mean, come the fuck on.

2much ;_;

Inspirationally incompetent.

I haven’t experienced dialogue this bad since DBZ Abridged. This is literary sadism at its worst.

Random lines are left untranslated — usually the easiest ones too. “Kirei, ja ne?” doesn’t exactly take a university education to hash out.

…Maybe?

There are no brakes on the fail train.

I wish I had.

End

Rating: F-

Since I know you’re gonna be looking for alternate options: SeNsUi’s release is just an edit of this one, and DBSuper is a direct copy of SeNsUi’s edit.

Danger, Will Robinson.

…DragonTeam is gonna be your best only option for the show. Their 01 was at least watchable.

Checking in from the Boogie Down to see how the fansub scene utterly deteriorated during my absence

Table of Contents

Release Information

Translation

Other Observations

Final Grade

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV ( 327MB, 8-bit)

Translation: Professional TL

Wap Level: None, absent instances I’m pretty sure are unintentional

English style: American English.

Speed: Quick (<48 hours)

External links.

Group website: Aniplex, Daisuki, Crunchyroll, Horriblesubs

IRC channel: #horriblesubs@irc.rizon.net

Like I said before, I will be labeling observations as “nitpicks” or “errors” in order to mitigate confusion.

Translation

Main Script.

ERROR

Maybe that “guy” with the glowy eyes is a cross dresser.

ERROR

Just “finals,” the term kimatsu is used for the end of a school term—any term.

NITPICK

Nice leaving the waseigo as is. Try “investigate” or “looked into it”.

MAJOR NITPICK

Didn’t bother translating the name of the school, even though it will figure very prominently into the story later. In the past I counted not translating signs as errors, and this was just a cunthair away from being a full error. They got a pass since I suppose people paying for these subs probably wouldn’t want their screen cluttered up with the name of the school.

ERROR

Miss the part where he was talking about “smart kids” vying to get into that super-elite prep school. And yes, that’s important since what’s the point of possessing random test takers?

NITPICK

Hai, as this site cannot stress enough, translating that word this way is very grating.

NITPICK

So these people go through all that… trouble, I guess (?) to Westernize the script, but here the concept of “second-person pronouns” went over their heads.

ERROR

Nope, there was only one girl.

ERROR 

This is probably the funniest/stupidest/most rage-inducing mistake of the whole release.

NITPICK

I was tempted to treat this as just another editing derp, but I just want to make this clear as possible. When you hear you da that means “apparently.” When you hear sou da that usually means “somebody said.” So a better line would be “I was told you’ll be expelled if you try to get out of it.”

NITPICK

“This says you don’t have that disease.”

NITPICK

Okay, let’s pull out the old dictionary… fukanzen... “incomplete”… nouryoku… “ability.” Okay, script’s done, where’s my $80?

MAJOR NITPICK

Yes, “hanashi” can mean “story,” but it doesn’t apply to every goddamn situation. If it were me, I’d have him say “You can’t be…” and have the girl say “We’re serious.”

ERROR

It sounds like he caused those things, but it supposed to be “It’s a long story… I’m sorry.”

NITPICK

If you’re going for a joke, it’d be better to conflate the word “sisCON” with “CONtest,” geddit?

NITPICK

They do a TL note for the previous line, but not for this? (TL note: Hoshinoumi = Sea of Stars)

Other Observations

I’m sure you’ve all noticed by now, but the script reads pretty shitty and unedited. But that detailed necropsy is something for another post by people more capable than me. For now I’ll just focus on a couple of the more ridiculous lines.

Too bad there isn’t a way to reverse search for a common term that specifically means “someone with parental authority over a child.” It might help these overly literal professional subbers a lot.

Subbers thinking “conversational language” would have cut to the fucking chase and had her say, “Oh, but you were able to get close to that girl you liked.” Seriously, in order give viewers time to read the second line, they extended it double the length of the actual audio, so at least they were aware the line was too goddamn long.

Final Grade: C-

Too many stupid, avoidable mistakes that could have been fixed if the translator just watched this useless chuuni haremshit anime one time though. And they were tacked on to a shitty script that’s obviously an unedited first draft.

I wish I could just leave it at that, but it appears that the good people at Aniplex/Daisuki aren’t content with just being a substandard subtitling company and have decided to play dirty. As you all probably know, MyAnimeList has finally made the switch from a being merely a rubber room full of shitass casuals to being a bought-and-sold corporate shill. You will also notice that the fansub ratings have mysteriously disappeared from some of the anime pages. Starting to see a pattern?

I certainly did because Daisuki/Horriblesubs used to get hammered in those fansub ratings. Their rating for Charlotte in particular was really bad; it even included a detailed analysis of what was wrong with the script by an anon (wish I still had the link). So instead of actually investing in an editor, Daisuki has decided to do away with all the criticisms. That is what the professional anime streaming scene has come to.

Back to top

First episode impressions only, cuz I committed to getting this post out today… and I’d only watched an episode of Dragon Ball Super prior to this mind-draining marathon.

Interest level: piqued

Ranpo Kitan: Game of Laplace (9/10)

With broken characters on display like a Tuesday-afternoon strip show, Ranpo Kitan certainly has my attention. It’s not quite as clever or grimdark as it portrays itself, but since I’ve been soured on the pretentious swill that was Zankyou no Terror, I’m inclined to give it a free pass for comparative subtlety.

Yeah, whatever. Admit you’re at least a bit intrigued. Just pretend it’s the sequel to a certain well-regarded series if you’re too tryhard to be honest with yourself.

I don’t even need to read that to know that I agree with you, Detective Hyobu. More insight, plz.

Charlotte (9/10)

The douchier the main character, the better the series will be.

Then again, this is a Key show, so we already had MC-kun get knocked off his badass podium by the end of the first episode. Prepare yourself for a bunch of forced drama as we find out that everyone with super powers in the show has some super-sad tragedy looming over them. How many dead girls will there be by the end? I’m betting two.

Akagami no Shirayukihime (9/10)

If you aren’t already a shoujo convert, I don’t know if Akagami’s gonna be the show that fixes you. There ain’t a lot of genre crossing or oh-my-wow impact moments.

Shoujo fans, however, will get a lot of “that’s so ky~~~” moments.

With cute characters and a time-tested plot, there won’t be too many genre fans complaining about Akagami… which is enough for me. This is gonna be close to the top of my viewing schedule.

Optimistically cautious

GATE (8/10)

I’m already impressed by the world-building and the show’s only featured Japan so far. Then again, the show’s main draw is the otherworld setting…

Jury’s way out on this one. Episode 2, don’t let us down.

Gakkou Gurashi! (8/10)

Japan did the best possible thing here by not doing a straight adaptation of the shitty manga. The show pulls a Shadow Star Narutaru in episode 1 that’ll leave a wide grin on the faces of any of you whose souls have long since transcended normalfagdom.

Future episodes will need to do a lot more to keep the smile on, however, and I am not sure Gakkou Gurashi is up to the task. We’ll see.

Ushio to Tora (7/10)

Better than it has any right to be, this adaptation of a dusty old manga will still only appeal to fans of dumb shounen. As a part of that crowd, I’m sufficiently psyched.

I’d rather be organizing my figure collection

Aoharu x Kikanjuu (6/10)

Fluff isn’t inherently bad, but it must be paced appropriately. And Aoharu has a rather pronounced limp.

Whatever a show’s core competency is should be at the forefront of the viewers’ attention. In Kikanjuu, that’s the character interactions:

(The one on the left is basically Haruhi from Ouran.)

Yet with all the slowly paced conversations and overly drawn-out “action” sequences (with gratuitous cuts to needless NPC narration), the show doesn’t have enough of its best feature on display to justify the 24-minute time commitment.

ChäoS;DRAGon (5/10)

I appreciate the courage Chaos Dragon shows in its willingness to have people die on-screen, but every dead body that hits the ground barely kicks up any dust. The heftless action and checklist plot go only as far as a series designed by committee ever could.

Even worse, it’s a Funi simulcast.

About the only saving grace of the show is that it looks like named characters are going to die every fucking episode. Mostly cuz it’s an easy way for me to find content for my filler polls community outreach programs.

Consistent content ahead? We’ll see. It’s far more likely Chaos Dragon will drag me too far into its cesspool of mediocrity for me to find any motivation to even put together a simple poll.

Dragon Ball Super (4/10)

#Filler

Dragon Ball’s never been good and this episode’s time-wasting “content” just proves it. Fuck nostalgia.

Where did my life go fucking wrong?

OverLord (3/10)

24 minutes to accomplish absolutely fucking nothing.

Even Grandma Momonga’s delicious cucumber water couldn’t save the show.

I knew I should’ve invested in razor blade stocks, cuz half the people watching this nothing-fest are invariably gonna resort to opening their wrists each episode to keep their circulation from shutting down.

Don’t be fooled by the hot chick. Kuroyukihime couldn’t save Accel World and Albedo can’t save OverLord.

OverLord is the kinda show hardsubs were made for. I recommend that if you’re deadset on watching this, you just grab the Funimation/HorribleSubs release and set the speed to double. Still, if my results with Hyouka are anything to go by, you’ll be better off pretending the show never existed in the first place.

Kuusen Madoushi Kouhosei no Kyoukan (2/10)

Where have we seen this before?

All I could think about while watching this is how I should really finish Cross Ange. Not sure there’s an indictment more damning than that, so take this as a strong warning to skip Kuusen.

Jitsu wa Watashi wa (Dropped/10)

I’ve never wanted to jam a steel pole through a writer’s taint as much as I have while trying to suffer through Watashi sober. I don’t even wanna call this out as the shitty Princess Resurrection rip-off it’s desperately trying to be, cuz that’d mean associating Riza’s sexy-ass abs even tangentially to this mindrot.

I would kill for you, Riza. <3

Fuck this, I’m dropping Jitsu from Summer 2015 canon. It no longer exists. You’re welcome.

Current Tally

Part 2 up next. But I’m gonna need some sleep first.

Did anime subtitling just go back to 2005 ~de arimasu?

Table of Contents

Release Information

Translation

Other Observations

Final Grade

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV ( 322MB, 8-bit)

Translation: Professional Translation

Wap Level: 80% (Senpai, Kouhai)

English style: American English.

Speed: Quick (<48 hours)

External links.

Group website: Aniplex, Daisuki, Crunchyroll, Horriblesubs

IRC channel: #horriblesubs@irc.rizon.net

Translation

Main Script.

Decided to have Yamada refer to herself in the third person. This, I like.

ERROR

Learn to count.

ERROR

Fine, I suppose the translation of the episode title is technically correct, but it’s still an error in goddamn principle.

ERROR

“You told your mom you’re coming here today, right?”

A lesser group would have translated hentaiteki to “perverted.”

NITPICK

So instead of “It feels so good it’s addicting,” we get… this?

NITPICK

Has anyone on God’s green earth ever referred to their boss as “Manager”?

NITPICK

Replace “little girl” to “underaged girl” to up the creep factor.

NITPICK

The line should reflect better the fact that she stopped gushing about “Kyouko-san! Kyouko-san!”

Daisuki is officially after my heart.

…I mean, Popura’s the official name, not Poplar. Deal with it, plebs.

NITPICK

“…people who are her age.”

ERROR

Souma actually says “Mashiba-san tachi” which refers to Mashiba One and Mashiba Two, who were both former yankees. It’s a subtle mistake, and it pays to be a fan of the series. Unfortunately, it looks like every group has made this error, even the ones that should know better.

I like how they handled this line (lit. translation: “‘That type of thing’? You…”)

ERROR

“And I’m NOT keeping quiet about it because it’s that hilarious!”

NITPICK

More like “little kids.”

MAJOR NITPICK

Another example of Aniplex’s schizophrenia when it comes to Westernizing their shows, yet feeding us this kind of phraseology because they lack the creative juices to work around it. If I had my way, I’d have her say “If someone even smaller were around, he might not look up to me like he used to do.” I’d say that line would definitely elicit a “WTF?” reaction from every quarter.

MAJOR NITPICK

Continuing with this shitshow, Aniplex needs to watch a badly translated Korean drama to appreciate how awesomely retarded these lines are. Maybe hardcore fans are able to blow it off because they all speak Japanese at a 4th-grade level, but I still feel sorry for the truly uninitiated.

Anyhoo, an easy fix for kouhai in this context is “working under you.”

MAJOR NITPICK

I don’t know what this is. Is she speaking about two people or just herself?

MAJOR NITPICK

Nice subject-verb agreement there.

ERROR

Nope, she speaks in the present/future tense.

NITPICK

Seriously, can the guys at Aniplex invest in a fucking reverse dictionary?

ERROR

“They’ll adopt Yamada, making Yamada happy.” Yamada only looks out for Yamada, remember that.

MINOR NITPICK

If I were translating this show, I’d go with “soap opera drama” since the context is that Yamada can’t get enough of the romantic intrigues that goes on at Wagnaria.

ERROR

Souma sez “I’ve been borrowed to go search for her a lot” (too lazy to think of a better line).

Other Observations

Once again, this is a typical derptasic Aniplex script they farmed out to some Indonesian somewhere. The less said about it, the better.

Final Grade: C-

I believe Crunchyroll handled the translation during the previous season, and the only problem with those scripts is that they tend to “streamline” a lot. Here you have a woefully unedited script that’s riddled with TL errors both avoidable and mystifying. This show has certainly taken a step down when it comes to its professional handlers. Whatever fansub group uses this script as a base will have their work cut out if they wish to shine this shit into gold.

Back to top

One of these days, I’ll post an opinion that is less than perfect. We’re still a few decades off from that point, though.

Himouto! Umaru-chan (10/10, if you watch with [kdfss], 9/10 otherwise)

I originally wanted to just shove this show on the background while I cleaned, so I could technically say I watched it. But then this stupid fucking OP kicked in, and… well, you know how I am about stupid fucking OPs.

It would be hard to overstate how much I hate literal moeblob imagery, so for Umaru-chan’s first episode to actually entertain me (in a non-masochistic manner) is a testament to how fucking good this actually is.

I would pay to have her vomit on me, and not just cuz she’s cute.

Watch this shit if you want a spiritual successor to decent slice-of-life comedies like Minami-ke or… well, I guess Minami-ke was the only good one. Either way, treat yoself. Since you’re savvy enough to visit Crymore for my superior opinions, you deserve it.

Gangsta (10/10)

Gangsta is perfect. Well, the manga is, at least. The anime thinks subtlety is some flavorless French desert.

Oh boy I wonder what trophy they’re gonna pick after having spent over half the episode focusing on the abused prostitute!

Still, I ain’t gonna waste space on any more flowery language than necessary — the show certainly doesn’t. You need to watch this, now. It’ll put some much-needed blood back in your veins.

Rokka no Yuusha (8/10)

Episode 1 was a lot of setup… but I think it was handled well enough that it’s not gonna lose the people it needs. Having read the first novel, the real reason to watch this show is gonna come at the end of episode 2, where they reveal that there are seven Heroes, and one of them’s a liar.

Could even be Adlet, who knows!

Though I am somewhat apprehensive about the show’s necessary reliance on its generic source material, if Mondaiji’s taught me anything, any show with bunny girls in it can’t be bad.

Let’s bet on the bunny and hope the first ep isn’t gonna be indicative of the budget in the coming weeks.

Shimoneta (8/10)

Eh, it’s kinda boring, but green-chan seems like a decent mop for dick sweat, so I’m in.

God Eater (6/10)

It looks like South Park, but feels even cheaper.

If Ufotable had only skimped on the budget, and presented at least one interesting new idea with this series, I could have recommended God Eater — and I really fucking wanted to. Instead, we get another Owari no Seraph-like shounen where all the problems in the world can be solved if you yell loud enough.

Scream!

There’s not one iota of suspense in this staid story. You’ve seen this before in better incarnations, so I don’t see any reason to bother watching this unless you’re really that bored.

Back to Monster Hunter; the armor has more personality than anyone in this cheap cash-in ever will.

Nargacuga’s gonna be in MHX. Get hype.

Classroom Crisis (6/10)

Going through episode 1 was a roller coaster of emotions that peaked when an over-the-top space rescue mission culminated in a mining-asteroid crash that a space kuudere escaped from unharmed to deliver a politically charged bounty to a hostage-cum-hype-maker.

This frame right here.

The support on said roller coaster crumbled shortly after, when it was revealed the show was really just “Mr. Growly Eyes Does Space Accounting”. What is this, the fucking BBC?

I guess it’s meta that the characters and the animators both blew their budget in episode 1. Don’t be surprised if this ends up worse than getting pubic hair caught in your throat for a fucking week.

Monster Musume no Nichijou (5/10)

I thought I’d like this show, but the addition of a cheesy soundtrack (we’re talking Kraft Singles-tier here) to every fucking filler-filled character interaction makes it really hard to enjoy, let alone masturbate to.

This was the only scene to inspire emotion in me, and that was horror at MC-kun cooking something with five eggs that’s not a fucking omelette.

Like you, I’m only watching to get to the point when Arachne joins the house, so I’m withholding my permanent judgment till then… but THAT STUPID FUCKING SOUNDTRACK will likely be a bigger boner killer than bad English.

Tide me over till then, Ms. Smith. <3

Joukamachi no Dandelion (3/10)

I thought this would be like Code Geass, I really did. Instead, it’s just a cutesy do-nothing anime, professionally subtitled by the only company worse than Bank of America.

The pictures without subs are there because… they were left unsubbed by Funimation. Gotta say it’s likely the translation quality affected my opinion of the show, cuz it’s all I can fucking remember about it.

Non Non Biyori Repeat (Dropped/10)

Like with Himouto, I tried to just throw this show on in the background so I could get my multi-task on, but… I had to sit down and analyze this one.

Haven’t we seen this before?

Looking back at the apparently relevant title, I had to check that this wasn’t another Haruhi situation where they just reaired old episodes and pretended they were a new season. Turns out, they’re even bigger KyoAni fans than I thought, and decided to Endless 8 the entire first season of Non Non Biyori (Endless 8 was an arc in Haruhi where they repeated the same filler episode 8 times in a row… which went over about as well as you’d expect).

Renge on repeat, same dull beat

Considering how Haruhi S2 killed any love I had for what was then my favorite franchise, the same thing happening to a series I despise is both gleefully satisfying and entirely unappealing.

Dropped this after 10 minutes like the pile of constipated garbage it is.

Sore ga Seiyuu! (May as well not even exist/10)

What am I watching? WHY am I watching? Fuck everything about my life that led up to this moment.

Who the fuck cares?

At least Sore ga Seiyuu brings closure to my cleaning the room arc: I finally found something that I can “watch” without issue (as long as I put it on mute). Rather than dropping this, I’m just gonna use it as an easy way to get a +1 on MyAnimeList. Thanks for the e-penis, SgS.

Prison School (Dropped/10)

Prison School: Manga Edition

Prison School: Anime Edition

I’m on Team Literacy for this one. Back to the manga, boys.

Current Tally

I suggest creating your own score cards and trying to get as close to my perfect thoughts as possible. Think of it as anime bingo.

Full disclosure, I translated the second season of Working for m.3.3.w, and I think I was credited in the first season with some OP translation help, so you’re free to take this review with a grain of salt.

Table of Contents

Release Information

Translation

Other Observations

Final Grade

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (216MB, 10-bit)

Translation: Original Translation ®

Wap Level: Full wap

English style: American English.

Speed: Slow (>48 hours)

External links.

Group website: http://m33w-fansubs.com

IRC channel: #m.3.3.w@irc.rizon.net

Translation

Karaoke.

m.3.3.w tried, and failed, to make out these lines. But at least they tried. Anyways, they’re saying ran ran run run (whatever the fuck that means). Hell, the anime could even be pulling a chain restaurant meme. Prove me wrong.

Their OP needs more work. This particular line looks like one person did the romaji while someone else did the (wrong) translation.

Main Script.

NITPICK

Yamada speaks in keigo, yet we get this line. Expert characterization.

MAJOR NITPICK

Missing a “Taneshima-san.”

MAJOR NITPICK

Ooh, that title needs a skosh more work. Also a double C-minus for not having a chapter at the title scene.

NITPICK

“Takanashi-kun.”

NITPICK

Ditto.

NITPICK

Strictly speaking, she’s speaking about a specific time in the past where Kyouko-san had more parfait than usual, not just generally.

ERROR

“Yesterday.”

ERROR

I am particularly disappointed that m.3.3.w forgot about the Mashiba twins.

MAJOR NITPICK

This close to calling it an error, since Satou only got one piece of useful information, but my bias for m.3.3.w came into play.

NITPICK

I’ll charitably say this is a step up from Aniplex, which really isn’t a compliment at all if you think about it. While “senpai-kouhai” is atrocious and cancer-causing, “senior-junior” is just lazy, phone-it-in translating.

MAJOR NITPICK

I just… what? Was she talking about someone? Or did this particular subplot revolved around her crush?

I like their approach with this line (oreos, offerings, Otoo). I just wish there were better “o” words they can use.

ERROR

What’s Inami doing right now?

“I can’t stop by someplace. If I run into a guy, it’ll be a total disaster.”

ERROR

The sxf paku is supposed to be “gape”

Other Observations

These lines can be safely condensed into one.

They hear tsuika oodaa and decided to go literal instead of saying something normal like “more orders.”

m.3.3.w isn’t the only group who translated hetare to “meek” or “weak.” But, good god, there are better words out there to use, like “wishy-washy,” “namby-pamby” “pussy-ass” “chickenshit” — you know the drill.

We were this close to seeing “special Natto rice” in our subs. Once again, professionals at work.

m.3.3.w thinks people are objects.

Timing error.

Final Grade: B

I could forgive the errors you can find here or there if it weren’t for a very underwhelming, uneven script. These sub remind me of this effort, which was similarly less-than-stellar (in my defense, I only TLCed that episode while I translated the rest).

Apparently, this release was briefly given the much-sought-after Blue status by Nyaa before being revoked. The official reason is that m.3.3.w used hardsubs in this day in age, so the mods are deferring the blue status after a full review once all relevant groups release the second episode. However, I wouldn’t say these are the best subs for this show.  From where I stand, these subs are merely a few steps up from Aniplex.

Back to top

Will DDY save us from Aniplex?

Table of Contents

Release Information

Translation

Other Observations

Final Grade

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV ( MB, -bit)

Translation: Crunchy edit

Wap Level: Depends on the track

English style: American English.

Speed: Quick (<48 hours)

External links.

Group website: http://www.damedesuyo.com/

IRC channel: #DameDesuYo@irc.rizon.net

Translation

Because the quality of the subs from licensed streams have become, uh, varied in recent years, my previous criteria of “one strike (added mistake) and you’re out” is no longer applicable. This new evolved criteria will take into account the amount of work one will need to fix a script, and will now comprise of these three grades:

PASS WITH FLYING COLORS: No added mistakes, fixed all (or nearly all, depending on how dogshit the source is) of the previous mistakes. Boosts the readability and entertainment value of the subs.

PASS: No added mistakes to a solid source script. If the source script is substandard, then the added mistakes don’t exceed the fixes.

FAIL: Added mistakes (even one) to a solid source script. Added mistakes to a substandard script exceed any fixes.

Karaoke.

OP

It was mostly good, but sometimes you get headscratchers  like this.

Main Script.

>Dat title

No.

Fixed this mistake.

They could have improved this line, but they didn’t.

Retained this mistake.

Here they turned five words in Japanese (sonna koto tte omae na) into this overly abridged line. Unfortunately, the viewer is left wondering if Satou meant “What is it?” or “What the hell is wrong with you?”

ERROR

I would argue DDY actually made these lines worse than what Daisuki gave us. The phrase kokoro wo oni ni suru means to be mean for somebody’s own good. Here DDY makes Souma sound like he’s being mean just to be a sadistic bastard (which he admittedly is being in this scene, but the humor is derived from the fact that Souma is inherently unable to do good without also being a petty ballbuster).

DDY, YOU DRIED OUT FLAKES OF MOLDY CUMSTAINS, WHY DON’T YOU ALL GO FUCK YOURSELVES WITH A DUFFEL BAG FULL OF LUBRICATED HORSE COCKS, YOU LOUSY SHITASS SHITBIRDS…

Oh wait, there’s a localized track:

Okay, that’s a hell of a lot better, but the folks at DDY have still decided, with a clear conscience it seems, to put the “senpai-kouhai” abomination in the default track.

Fixed this mistake…

And this mistake.

ERROR

Once again, paku means “gape.”

They did a good job fixing this mistake.

Other Observations

DDY being cartel subs.

Final Grade: PASS

An overall improvement over Aniplex, but these subs are by no means perfect either. Maybe their localized tracks are more entertaining, but I only have so much time to devote to a single sub.

Back to top

The last entry of the most oversubbed series of the season, if that were possible in this day in age.

Table of Contents

Release Information

Translation

Other Observations

Final Grade

Release Information

Episode details.

Release format: MKV (208MB, 10-bit)

Translation: Crunchy edit

Wap Level: Quarter Wap (no honorifics, but “Senpai” used)

English style: American English.

Speed: Slow (>48 hours)

External links.

Group website: http://fffansubs.org

IRC channel: #FFFpeeps@irc.rizon.net

Translation

Karaoke.

OP

Mostly good, but I would argue the two words are “whole” (as in “whole cake”) and “fudgy” since it makes sense for the show’s theme song to have mixed food metaphors.

Main Script.

Other groups would put down something stupid like, “It can’t be helped that Satou bullies you, Taneshima.”

Finally, a group that’s aware of restaurant jargon.

I’m crying tears of joy now. Still can’t believe only one group got the title right.

Forgot to mention this in the m.3.3.w review, but this line alone puts FFF one step ahead of them in my book.

MINOR NITPICK

Seriously, why is everyone allergic to just calling her “Boss”?

I like how they rendered the literal “I’ll kill you.”

MINOR NITPICK

Would have went with “…And I ended up feeding her.”

For dame da. Putting this down in my memo (same with DDY’s “Yikes”).

Did not fix this error.

ERROR (SOURCE BASED)

Popura Poplar was speaking in “what ifs” not “right nows.” Also, wish they applied at this point the idea they had in a later line, instead of just going with “senior” stock translation. I was too incensed by the “senpai-kouhai” part to point it out in the Horriblesubs review.

Thank god they fixed the “happier kouhai” dumbfuckery in a way that makes sense.

One of the longest Yoda translation I’ve ever seen.

ERROR (ADDED)

What the fuck was she doing here, then?

“I was just a bystander in some melodrama surrounding my crush (and yet I’m strangely not put off by it.)”

Totally forgot they had drinks that time. But I really don’t think Kirio’s supercilious speech pattern would allow for a “bro.”

No, only happiness for Yamada because Yamada is all about Yamada.

Apparently the one group to get this sound effect right.

Almost, but didn’t quite fix this line. He was talking specifically about hunting down Mrs. Otoo-san.

Other Observations

Yes, FFF engages in a bit of the dreaded Script Writing (for example, this could’ve been TLed as “Sorry about that.”) but for the most part the revisions work and keep the script fresh and interesting.

Final Grade: PASS

It’s basically a dead heat between FFF and DDY, with m.3.3.w back by a head. But if I were to examine the photo finish, and much as it pains me to say this for an old rival, I would say things like the episode title put FFF ahead by a hair.

Back to top

Let’s see how many of you are still here.

~Notes~

Vote however you please, the poll pools are only separated based on my superior-though-sometimes-faulty logic.

I only included good OPs, so if your favorite one isn’t included here, I suggest you find a new favorite.

For those of you with data limitations, these don’t load until you click play so calm the fuck down.

• LQ (640×360): 8-19 MB each
• HQ (1280×720): 17-43 MB each
• Ranpo Kitan: 69 MB for the 720p, 26 MB for the 360p. I know; it’s stupid.

Best OP Audio

Best OP Visuals

And with this, I’ve fulfilled my August quota of Crymore posts. See y’all next month~ <3

Two posts on Crymore in one night? The fuck is this, 2013?

~Notes~

Vote however you please, the poll pools are only separated based on my superior-though-sometimes-faulty logic.

I only included good EDs, so if your favorite one isn’t included here, I suggest you find a new favorite.

For those of you with data limitations, these don’t load until you click play so calm the fuck down.

• LQ (640×360): 6-18 MB each
• HQ (1280×720): 10-50 MB each

Best ED Audio

Best ED Audio, Pt. II

Cuz most EDs were an abomination in the eyes of the me this season.

My scores for all the OPs/EDs of the season:

I fight through the pain so you don’t have to. ;_;

Meta posts may only count for a fraction of actual content, but take what you can get, right?

Anime Revolution (Vancouver, BC)

Normally, I like to get the hype going at least a week or two before the event, so people can make last-minute plans to meet my idyllic self… but then I find myself furiously typing this up last-minute in the hotel room so I can start drinking before we get bored.

And apparently I’m not writing fast enough.

puddi’s hyped this up as the second-greatest con of all time (behind Sakura-Con), so my expectations couldn’t be higher. In fact, if this con results in anything less than me getting rim-jobbed by Seiko Oomori, I’m gonna have to strangle puddi for letting me down harder than Prison School.

And no, Seiko Oomori hasn’t announced herself as a guest; that’s why I’m making this post.

Got this all planned out.

Anyway, I’m here, and my friends are here, so come hang with us for a panel or a couple drinks. I promise you I’m everything my dreams are made of.

Crew:

• puddi
• shcboomer
• Rekyu
• lunr
• Sena Wong

<Dark_Sage> Sena, you’re in Vancouver, we’re in Vancouver. Let’s Anime Revolution.
<Sennachi> not interested
<Dark_Sage> D:
<Sennachi> expensive, no seiyuu I like there
<Dark_Sage> Sena plz, it’s not about the seiyuu, it’s about getting into shenanigans with me-sama & crew
<Dark_Sage> When else will you get to do body shots off cosplayers?
<Dark_Sage> Rekyu’s there, puddi’s there, lunr’s there… it’s basically EveTaku: The Anime Con.
<Dark_Sage> You could even poorfag it and just hang around without a badge
<Dark_Sage> \o/
<Sennachi> “not interested” means “no”

Okay, maybe not Sena. But we will also be hanging with roux (from the utaite scene), so… I consider that a trade-up.

Vancouver’s great, by the by.

Avatar

Again, I don’t like to wait this long, but here’s where my avvy this season comes from:

Also happens to be my current background cuz it’s so damn cash.

The Site

I’ve kinda not been writing much, cuz life is kinda draining me like a goddamn lich, and not the sexy kind.

Unfortunately.

All I have to offer are excuses, albeit good ones, but I still gotta apologize. Y’all deserve a consistent amount of content, and I’m struggling to find ways to give it to you that don’t turn Crymore into something I’ve never wanted it to become. It’s not easy, and we’re not at this point because I “don’t care anymore”.

Just wanted to break character for a second and address that, because both you and I deserve better than the current status, and it’s not at all in the back of my mind, even if it seems that way.

Final Fantasy Tactics

…is still objectively the best game ever.

I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive puddi for tricking me into going to AniRevo.

Crew (just assume we were together most of the time):

• puddi
• Rekyu
• shcboomer
• lunr

With guest appearances by:

• roux
• Despair
• Regret

Friday

12:00 Food and stuff

After talking with the Canucks in our group (lunr and boomer), we decided to head on over to a poutinerie, to experience the finest cuisine Canada had to offer.

I went with the okonomiyaki poutine, which I unfortunately could not fap to as much as I did to this picture.

We also scoped the con out, but talking about that is as boring as scoping it out was, so let’s move on.

2:00 Voice Actor Idol

I’d kill for Kohana. <3

I figured this was gonna be another Anime Idol-type contest where everybody sang and danced and shit.

I may or may not have been hoping for a real-life Rin.

Instead, it consisted of people poorly reciting lines off dull scripts, all in a vain attempt at relating to human emotions they’d only ever learned about from textbooks. (Yeah, maybe I should have actually read the panel title).

If you hate your ears, click the play button for a true panel experience:

The judges told this guy his performance was “really great” and praised his courage for playing two characters at once. I, in turn, praise those judges’ courage for signing up to be in charge of a voice acting contest despite being irreparably damaged in all the wrong places.

3:30 Root W

The boys headed out to Japanese for Beginners, but I wasn’t about to waste my time learning something as irrelevant to my interests as Japanese, so I set off on a walkcon adventure.

Spirits were definitely higher than they should have been.

3:40 Root W, cont.

Walkcon looked off to a bright start with a rare Unbreakable Machine-Doll cosplay. Well, until I talked to the chick. Convo went pretty much like this:

Me-sama: Whoa, Unbreakable Machine-Doll cosplay?

Her: Yes.

Me-sama-dono-senpai: Could I grab a picture?

Her: No.

…What?

Me? Rejected? Something isn’t right here…

Look girl, I understand your hesitation to be photographed by someone as oppressively beautiful as me, but the quality of that $100 Chinese knock-off you grabbed from the first eBay posting you saw was actually good enough to call attention away from the fact you’d need to keep your mouth shut to remain even remotely photogenic, so you really didn’t have to hesitate like that.

All right, I think that’s enough salt for one sentence. Moving on~

After that, I never asked for another cosplay pic at the con. Though it was more because the cosplays were boring than because I was bitter as fuck. …Probably.

4:00 Japanese for Beginners

Figuring walkcon was a lost cause, I traipsed on over to this panel.

I wish it was just this image projected on a screen.

There, I found myself being lectured at by someone whose only qualifications were “I took three years of Japanese in high school” as they used notes they wrote when they were 14. Fucking hell, I didn’t drop out of Intro Japanese in college to deal with this shit again. AniRevo, plz.

Rekyu had the right idea by sleeping on me for the entire panel.

4:50 AniRevo Talent Contest

Headed in early for the Talent Contest (#PressPrivilege) and met up with Twitter-pal roux for a bit before she had to bounce to perform background ensemble in the opening act.

Five minutes past five, the opening act started, and I can’t hate on the background vocals, but the wigger trash performing… hoo boy. Here’s the music video for the song that… barely qualifies as one.

If you got more than one minute in, you beat me. Our crew was dying when we saw this performed live, especially cuz the poor kid couldn’t even hit any of his “notes”. Friendly advice for any wannabe rappers: your voice isn’t supposed to crack when you say “girl”.

We saw a couple of acts after the intro that were okay, and some that weren’t. Have a poorly recorded video of one of the good ones:

In a unscriptable twist of fate, that Unbreakable Machine-Chick I talked about before came on the stage to compete in the contest. So instead of getting the one pic I had asked for, I acquired a couple thousand frames of sweet victory.

And in another twist of fate, I actually liked her performance, so as the ultimate BM, I’m not even gonna post her fucking video. Mark this down: Dark_Sage always fucking wins.

6:00 Magic the Gathering

Headed on over to a Magic the Gathering draft tourney just to kill time.

It was like this, except there were no girls ofc.

I could write an entire article about the shenanigans that occurred here, but fuck that normalfag-nerd trash. Just know that puddi styled all over a bunch of kids, and likely made one quit the game forever (not even exaggerating there, puddi is a relentless beast for whom empathy is a foreign concept… and that’s why we love him).

9:00  Game room

It was pretty hopping, as you can see. Don’t know why we didn’t stay the whole night.

10:00 Pinkies up, drinks down

Since the con was dull, we taxi’d back to our hotel for a couple drinks (whiskey coke and then two shots of Bulleit each).

You know how we do.

On our taxi ride back (the official con hotel is seriously a 15-minute walk from the actual con and we were not having that), we realized this was a terrible mistake, as it was not nearly enough to prepare us for how the con had degraded in our absence.

Here’s the status of walkcon once we returned:

And here’s the night’s main draw, the rave:

What a fucking party.

10:30 “Welp, good luck minna-sans.”

I don’t know what she’s saying, but I assume it’s 100% relevant.

Realizing not even we could save Anime Revolution, the crew and I abandoned the poor souls and headed back to our hotel to play Smash. I don’t know what the congoers did when we left, but I can’t imagine they made it out with their sanity intact.

11:00 FalconXFalcon’d

There’s only so much Smash a Sage can handle, so I ditched back to my room, and apparently locked puddi out for three hours.

Whoopsie.

I guess I was unconsciously getting him back for tricking me into blowing a grand on this fucking con. And with unconscious foresight too, cuz the con only got worse from there.

The other days:

Days -1/0 – Wednesday/Thursday: Coming… sometime?

Days 2/3 – Saturday/Sunday: Same. Though I don’t have anything planned tonight, so I’ll probably put some time into these if I don’t die of depression first.